A mother's love
by here4rizzles
Summary: Jane, Maura and their three children going through life. Motherly love, some angst and major amounts of fluff. Fourth part in the series of 'Love makes a family', 'Home is in your arms' and 'Family is forever'. Stories can be read separately, but some background information might be nice. English is not my native language, pointing out mistakes is appreciated.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N This is the fourth part in the series of 'Love makes a family', 'Home is in your arms' and 'Family is forever'. The stories can be read separately, but some background information from the other stories is nice. I try to upload regularly; multiple times a week. Reviews make me very, very happy. This story is one that is close to my heart._

 _Also, don't forget to vote for a name of the baby! There's a poll on my profile page. Jane and Maura will give the baby the name that wins the poll! You can also suggest one of the names in a review. I hope you like the start of this story!_

 **Chapter 1**

"I hate this," Jane whispered while she paced through the room. "I should be doing something."

Maura sighed and fumbled with her hands while she sat down on the small couch in the corner of the hospital room they were sent to. "I know, honey. But you can't."

Jane took a deep breath and looked at her watch again, for the hundredth time in the past hour. "Then what am I supposed to do?"

Maura looked up at Jane and tilted her head with a slight smile. "Staying right here with me."

Jane took a deep breath and sat down next to her wife, taking Maura's hand in her own. Their baby was being born right now. Right this second; their baby was making its way into this world. They weren't allowed in the room. The baby was being delivered through a complicated C-section and he or she would be brought to them as soon as possible.

Jane looked around the small room that looked like some kind of waiting room. There was a coffee table with flowers that had an annoyingly strong smell. The painting on the wall was strangely calming, contrasting with the pounding of Jane's heart. The walls were a light shade of yellow and their breaths were the only sound in the room.

Suddenly the door opened and a familiar nurse came in. Jane had forgotten her name already. Was it Susan? Or Nancy? Something like that. Jane shook her head and waited until the woman closed the door.

"The baby is in breech. The delivery is difficult."

Maura sighed deeply. "God," she mumbled. "How long has she been in labor?"

"Three hours." The nurse smiled politely. "But everything is fine, Dr. Isles. I just came down here to give you two an update on how things are going. We've handled situations like this before. It'll just take a little longer."

Maura nodded but Jane knew she was thinking about all the worst things that could be happening right now. She placed her hand on Maura's lower back. "Thanks."

"Erica doesn't want to see the baby," the nurse continued after a nod to Jane, "he or she will be taken away as soon as he's out, we'll clean the baby up and bring it straight to you. Skin to skin contact is preferred."

Maura nodded, taking a deep breath to calm herself. "Okay. Thank you."

The nurse nodded again and said goodbye before closing the door. Maura sighed deeply and Jane felt her clammy hands grabbing hers. Jane smiled a nervous smile and wrapped her wife up in a tight hug, feeling her heart pounding in her ears.

"It's killing that we can't do anything, isn't it?" Jane whispered into Maura's slightly unraveled curls. It was almost five AM and they had rolled right out of bed after a phone call from the adoption agency. Maura still looked stunning.

Maura nodded. "I wish I could do something."

"You can hold me," Jane whispered. "'Cause I'm kind of close to panicking too, you know."

Maura smiled a sad smile and cupped her wife's face, stroking Jane's cheeks with her thumbs while she captured Jane's lips in a quick but loving kiss. "It'll be okay," she whispered, her eyes sparkling with both love and nerves. "Before we know it, we'll be holding our child."

Jane nodded. She smiled and hid her face into the crook of Maura's neck. "It'll be okay," she repeated softly. They clutched to each other and the love they felt while they held each other close. "I love you, Maur," Jane whispered barely audible.

Maura smiled against her wife. "I love you too, Jane."

They waited for twenty more minutes. Twenty excruciating long minutes where all they could do was pray and hope their baby would be in their arms soon.

The door opened and the same nurse appeared, this time holding a bundle of blankets with a crying baby. Maura gasped and seemed to freeze in place while Jane hurried towards the nurse.

"Congratulations," the nurse said softly, gently handing the little bundle of blankets to Jane, "this is your baby."

Jane took the baby from her and felt like her heart stopped beating. The baby was a strange kind of purple and its little fists were waving through the air as the baby cried, but it was the beautiful baby Jane had ever seen. Jane fell in love. Absolutely, utterly in love. The baby's hair was a dark shade of red. It was a small baby and weighed almost nothing. But oh, so beautiful. It was the most beautiful baby in the world and it was their...

Jane lifted the blanket and felt tears burning in her eyes. Their son.

"A boy." Jane finally realized it. They had a little boy. A brother for Riley and Lizzie. A son for her and Maura. A son. Jane felt a warm arm wrapping around her waist and she looked to the side to see her wife standing closely next to her, a loving smile curling her lips while happy tears trickled down her cheeks.

"We have a son," Jane whispered, her voice hoarse with emotion.

Maura nodded, pressing a quick kiss to Jane's lips. She moved to unbutton Jane's blouse and gently grabbed her arm, leading them towards the small couch. Jane carefully moved the blankets away and moved the baby onto her chest, feeling his bare skin on her own.

Maura rested her chin on Jane's shoulder and traced the baby's cheek with her finger. "He's so beautiful," she whispered through her tears. "He's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen."

Jane smiled and pressed her lips against the boy's small head, smelling a unique, lovely baby-scent she knew she would never forget. It wasn't until she felt Maura's hand on her cheek that she realized she was crying. She smiled through her tears and looked into her wife's hazel eyes that spoke of so much love and care it only made the tough detective cry harder.

"He's beautiful," Jane whispered, looking back at the little baby against her chest. "He's gonna be a redhead."

Maura chuckled, taking one of the boy's little hands in her fingers. "He might, yes."

"Now we have a brunette, a blonde and a redhead." Jane smirked and gently stroked the baby's small back. "We could start a band."

Maura laughed and shook her head. "Please."

After a while, the nurse came back in with some diapers and a bottle of pre-prepared milk. Maura had made a fuss about it, saying that breastfeeding was so much better, but his biological mother couldn't feed him and to produce their own milk was possible, but not a great option so they had to choose giving him the bottle. Jane didn't mind. She passed the baby over to Maura, smiling when she lifted her shirt to put the baby against her skin. He latched on to the bottle immediately, his cries fading quickly.

"I love him already," Jane whispered, wrapping her arm around Maura's waist as she shifted closer to look at the baby. "I know it's not… I mean… I don't know him very well but…"

Maura chuckled. "He's our child. We didn't give birth to him but he's our son." Maura smiled a dreamy smile as she looked at the baby drinking his first meal, his eyes still closed. "So we love him."

They simply stared at their son for what felt like hours. They just stared, falling in love with him over and over again with every move he made, every breath he took. It felt different than when they first got Riley and Lizzie, but at the same time it felt similar. That feeling of having a new person in your life that you would love unconditionally. A child you got to protect and love for years and years to come.

"We have to call the girls," Jane whispered, hesitant to break their moment. "And my Ma."

Maura nodded but she didn't take her eyes away from the baby in her arms. He had finished his bottle and was sleeping peacefully, adored by both his mothers. Jane quietly took out her phone and looked for Riley's number, knowing her oldest daughter would be clutching her phone all this time.

It only rang a few times. "Ma!" Riley's excited voice greeted her mother. "Is the baby there?"

"Yeah," Jane answered softly, her voice laced with a happy glow, "he is."

"He?" Riley asked and Jane heard Lizzie squealing next to her. "It's a boy?"

"Yes." Jane smiled when the baby made a cute sleeping sound. "Congratulations. You have a little brother."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah." Jane nodded and smiled when she put her hand on the baby's belly. "Ten fingers, ten toes. Healthy and pink."

"Mama!" Lizzie screamed through the phone.

Jane chuckled. "Can you put Lizzie on for a sec, baby?"

"Yeah, hold on."

"Riley," Jane stopped her.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"Love you too, Ma."

Jane heard the phone shifting and a familiar, cheerful voice greeting her. "Mama!"

"Hey, baby." Jane smiled at the excitement in Lizzie's voice. "You have a little brother!"

Lizzie squealed, causing Maura to chuckle as she heard it through the phone. "What's his name, Mama?"

"Oh, we haven't decided yet. Right now, he's just called Baby Rizzoli-Isles."

Lizzie giggled. "That's a silly name."

"Oh Jane," Maura scolded her wife, "don't say that. She'll think that's his actual name."

Jane brushed her wife's words off with a smile. "Can you put grandma on the phone, honey?"

Jane heard the phone ruffling and met with her mother's shrieking voice. "Janie!"

"Hi, Ma." Jane smiled and tightened her arm around Maura's waist. "We have a son."

"I heard." Angela's voice was warm and loving. "Congratulations."

Jane felt tears burning in her eyes and nodded, not even realizing her mother couldn't see that. "Thanks."

"Everything healthy?"

"Yeah. He was in breech and the delivery was difficult but he's out and he's so beautiful, Ma…" Jane whispered, a few tears making their way down her cheeks. "He's gorgeous. He's gonna be the most handsome boy in the world."

"I bet he is," Angela replied softly, the sound of Riley's and Lizzie's excited voices in the background. "The girls are so happy, Jane."

Jane sniffled her tears away. "Really?"

"Yeah." Angela chuckled. "Lizzie's jumping up and down on the couch and Riley has the biggest smile on her face."

Jane smiled as she imagined the scenario. She could see it happening. That gorgeous smile on her fifteen-year old daughter's face and the energy and cheerfulness of her six-year old. She wanted them close to her. "Can you bring them over in a little bit?" she asked softly.

"Of course. I'll give you two a little more time, okay?" Angela's voice was laced with a smile. "Oh Lizzie, be careful! Get off there!"

Jane chuckled and wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand. "Thanks, Ma."

"No problem." Angela replied softly. "Jane…"

"Yeah?"

"You two have some great kids."

Jane smiled to herself. "Yeah."

They hung up the phone and Jane pressed her lips against Maura's temple. "The girls are so happy," she whispered.

"They are?"

Jane nodded. "Yeah."

Maura smiled and traced the boy's cheek with her finger. "Are they getting here?"

"In a little bit."

"I can't wait." Maura leaned forward and pressed a careful kiss to the baby's soft cheek. "We don't have a name yet."

Jane hummed. They talked about so many names, but they hadn't decided yet. "I like Joshua. And Aaron."

"Hm, me too. But I'm also still on Noah. Or William."

"No William, Maur," Jane groaned. "We talked about that."

Maura chuckled. "Okay."

"He doesn't feel like a William, so that won't work."

"What does he feel like?"

Jane shrugged. "Right now he just feels like Baby Rizzoli-Isles."

"Then that's what we'll call him for now," Maura whispered, staring lovingly at the baby boy in her arms. "Baby Rizzoli-Isles."

It wasn't until they heard a faint sound coming from the door that the women looked up. They saw a short, red-haired young woman standing in the doorway. She was wearing a hospital gown and looked like she wasn't supposed to be standing up. It wasn't difficult to guess who it was. Jane felt her throat closing up in fear. Did she regret her decision? What if she wanted her baby back?

"Are you Erica?" Maura asked, her voice kind and sweet.

The young woman nodded.

"I don't think you should be out here like this," Maura said softly. "You should be in bed, getting some rest."

"I-… I…" Erica stuttered and shook her head while she brushed her hair out of her sweaty face. "I know I- I'm not supposed to be here… I just… I just wanted-" she sighed deeply and smiled a watery smile. "I just wanted to make sure he's okay."

Jane looked at the woman at the door and couldn't help but feel sympathy for her. She looked young and vulnerable. "He's okay," she answered quietly. "You did the right thing."

Erica nodded. "I know. I can see it now."

Maura smiled up at Erica. "You gave us the most beautiful gift anyone could have ever gotten us." She looked back at the baby and smiled through her tears. "We love him and we will love him for the rest of his life."

Erica wiped her cheeks. "Thank you. For showing me I did the right thing."

"You should go, Erica," Maura said sweetly. "You're not supposed to be here. You're not supposed to see us or the baby and you're certainly not supposed to be walking around the hospital."

"I know." Erica fumbled with her hospital gown and looked nervously around her. "I'll go. Thank you."

Before Jane could form a reply, the woman was gone. She sighed deeply and looked at Maura. "How'd she find us?"

Maura shrugged. "I don't know." She shook her head and smiled at the baby in her arms. "I can't even be bothered by it right now." A tear trickled down her cheek again as she chuckled at her own emotional state. "He's so beautiful." 

Jane smiled while she kissed her wife's temple. "Just like his mother."

They sat in the same position for another hour and a half until Angela, Riley and Lizzie quietly entered the room, followed by a nurse. "I found some visitors for you," the nurse said politely.

"Hi, babies," Maura greeted them with a loving smile.

Riley walked towards the couch, sitting next to Maura as she looked at the baby. Jane smiled at Lizzie and opened her arms, lifting the girl into her lap. Lizzie looked at the baby and giggled. "He's purple, Mama," she whispered.

Jane chuckled. "Yeah. It'll go away in a few days."

"He's gorgeous," Angela whispered while she carefully caressed the baby's cheek. "Has he opened his eyes yet?"

Maura shook her head. "Not yet."

Riley carefully reached out and traced his small knuckles with her fingers, her mouth hanging slightly open as she smiled at the little boy. Maura looked at her oldest daughter and pressed her lips against Riley's cheek. "Hi, love," she whispered.

Maura and Riley shared that special connection. That special, loving connection they shared from the first minute they took Riley in as a foster child. Riley loved both her mothers endlessly but she always had something special with Maura. In moments like this, their special connection rose to the surface and Jane loved to witness it.

"This is your brother, honey," Maura whispered while she studied Riley's expression.

Riley nodded and smiled, taking the baby's little hand in her own. "Yeah."

Jane tightened her arms around the little girl in her lap and kissed Lizzie's messy curls. It was past six AM and Jane knew she must be exhausted. "You're a big sister now, baby."

Lizzie nodded, shifting sideways in Jane's arms as she snuggled into her mother's chest and looked at the baby in Maura's arms. "Is the baby sleeping?"

"Yes, he is."

"He doesn't have to sleep in bed?"

Jane chuckled. "No, honey. Not at first. We want to look at him and hold him, because we just met him, you know?"

"Oh." Lizzie nodded. "Did you do that with me when you just met me?"

Jane smiled at her mother who sat down on the edge of the coffee table, watching the little family with a loving smile. "You were already five when we met you, sweetie. You slept in your bed. But remember how you got out and came to us the next morning? We snuggled with you _all_ morning because we just met you and loved you so, so much."

Lizzie smiled while she put her thumb in her mouth, something she only did when she was incredibly tired. "Yeah."

Jane turned her attention back to the baby and felt a sense of bliss overwhelming her. They were complete. Their family just became even more perfect than it already was. Jane couldn't be happier.

So she thought. After Riley and Lizzie left again with Angela, both girls desperately needing to get some sleep, Maura had moved the baby back into Jane's arms. The blonde snuggled into her wife's side while their son slowly started to wake up. Jane gasped and almost choked on her tears when she met with big blue eyes for the very first time.

"Hi," she whispered through her tears. "Hi, baby." She smiled as the boy tried to focus on his mother. "I'm your Mama," she whispered, feeling Maura's arm tightening around her waist. "And this is your Mommy."

Maura traced his little cheek with her fingers. She smiled the brightest smile in the world while happy tears trickled down her cheeks. "He has the most beautiful eyes," she said softly. "They're like Riley's."

"Won't that change though?"

Maura nodded. "Yes, probably. All babies have blue eyes." She smiled when the baby made a gurgling sound. "But right now, it's like looking into Riley's eyes."

"Like he's really her bother."

"He is." Maura looked at Jane and caressed her wife's cheek with the back of her fingers. "He's Riley's and Lizzie's brother and our son."

Jane smiled as she looked into sparkling, hazel eyes. "I know." She looked back at the little boy in her arms, unable to take her eyes off him. "Our son," she whispered. "I like the sound of that."

"We have a son." Maura chuckled and gently placed her hand on the baby's belly. "a beautiful baby son."

"We're the parents of three children. Two daughters and a son."

"Riley, Lizzie and William."

"Ri-…" Jane shot her attention towards Maura and tilted her head. "Oh, you're good. No way! William? C'mon, Maur. He's not a royal baby!"

Maura laughed and brushed her hair behind her ear. "I like it!"

"I hate it," Jane replied as she looked back at their baby son. "And it doesn't go with the names of our other kids. Riley, Lizzie and _William_?"

"Alright, alright," Maura gave in. "Riley, Lizzie and Noah."

Jane nodded. "Better. Or Riley, Lizzie and Aaron."

Maura nodded and rested her head on Jane's shoulder, watching the boy closing his eyes again. "I like Aaron. And Noah. And Joshua…" Maura sighed and shook her head. "Baby Rizzoli-Isles."

Jane smirked. She couldn't pick a name. She didn't know. She only knew how much she loved this little baby in her arms. She knew she was going to protect him for the rest of her life. She would take care of him, love him and treasure him until the day she died.

She couldn't pick a name. All she could do was thank God, thank every God there ever was, or is, or will be and the whole universe and everyone she could possibly thank, that this woman didn't abort her baby and left it up to them to raise him with all the love in the world.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"I missed you, Mommy," Lizzie mumbled into Maura's shoulder, her short legs wrapping around her mother's waist as her arms squeezed Maura's neck.

Maura smiled and kissed the side of Lizzie's head. "I missed you too, my love."

It had only been three days, but she did miss her daughters while she spent those days at the hospital, waiting until they could take the still nameless baby home. Jane was pushing a stroller into the house and smiled at the little boy while Riley stood next to her. Maura smiled at the sight of her wife and daughter bending over the stroller, smiling at their baby son and brother.

"Did you have fun with Grandma?" Maura asked softly, pulling back to look at the little girl in her arms.

Lizzie nodded. "Yeah. We went to the park."

"Oh, that sounds fun." Maura kissed her daughter's cheek before the girl squirmed out of her arms. Maura chuckled as she let Lizzie go, watching her hurrying towards her little brother.

Riley turned her attention away from the stroller and Maura opened her arms for her teenage daughter, smiling when Riley walked into them for a hug. She kissed the side of Riley's head and pulled the girl to her chest. "Did everything go alright while we were gone?"

Riley nodded, her skinny arms wrapping around Maura's waist. "One nightmare."

Maura hummed, thinking about the excruciating dreams her daughter had to endure from time to time, caused by her horrible, abusive past. "What happened?"

Riley shrugged. "Weird stuff. Woke up panicked."

"Did you go to Grandma?"

Riley nodded and Maura sighed in relief. When her mothers weren't available, Riley tent to deal with her pain by herself. Something she was capable of, but something she shouldn't do too often. Maura was happy to hear she allowed Angela to comfort her. It meant she trusted other people besides her parents.

"Grandma slept in my bed with me," Riley said softly, sounding shy and a little embarrassed. "'Cause I kept crying and falling back into the nightmare. It was stupid."

Maura shook her head. "It's not. I'm proud of you for seeking comfort." She pulled back and looked into bright blue eyes. "You took a big step, honey."

Riley nodded, showing a slight smile. "Grandma was really sweet about it."

Maura smiled and leaned forward to press a kiss to Riley's forehead, looking over the girl's head at Angela who was making coffee in the kitchen. She was lucky to have a mother-in-law like her. Yes, she could be smothering and annoying, but Angela Rizzoli had a huge heart. She was caring, gentle and loving and that was exactly what Riley and Lizzie and even Maura herself, needed.

She untangled herself from Riley, rubbing the girls back before walking towards the kitchen. "Angela," she said with a smile, "thank you so much for being here."

Angela smiled a warm smile. "No need to thank me. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

Maura was surprised to feel tears in her eyes. She tried to hide them by giving her mother-in-law a quick hug. "You are so wonderful to them," she whispered, feeling Angela's warm arms wrapping around her upper body. "Thank you."

Angela squeezed Maura close, immediately knowing what she was thanking her for. "She cried for hours," the older woman said quietly, "I had no idea it was this bad."

Maura hummed while she nodded, pulling back from the hug. "It is, sadly."

"She's a strong girl, Maura." Angela cupped Maura's cheek and smiled. "Thanks to you and Jane."

Maura shook her head. "She was strong before we took her in. We just helped her see it." She looked up into loving green eyes. "I'm happy she looked for comfort. She doesn't easily do that."

"I know. She's like Jane in that."

Maura chuckled and turned her head to watch Jane taking the baby out of his stroller, carefully pulling him to her chest. "She is."

Angela looked at her daughter and finished making two cups of coffee. "Jane, give that little guy to me so you can drink some coffee."

Jane chuckled and shook her head, pouting while she rested her cheek against the side of the baby's head. "He's mine."

"He's my grandson," Angela walked towards Jane and opened her arms. "And you need to drink something. Even if it's coffee with too much sugar."

Jane rolled her eyes and kissed the baby's forehead before she handed him to her mother. Instead of taking the coffee though, she bent down to pick Lizzie off the floor, hugging the girl to her front while she covered her cheek in kisses. "I missed you, peanut!"

"Who would have thought we would see the day Jane would pick snuggles over coffee?" Angela said with a laugh, carefully adjusting the blanket around the baby in her arms.

Maura chuckled. "I always knew she had it in her." She smiled when Jane put Lizzie down and replaced her with Riley in her arms, giving her a quick and loving hug.

After a few moments of peaceful chatter, the baby started crying, telling them it was time for some food. Maura grabbed a fully prepared bottle from the kitchen.

"Mom," Riley walked into the kitchen and looked at her mother, "can I feed him?"

Maura smiled. "Of course." She guided Riley towards the couch and carefully took the baby from Angela's arms, putting him in Riley's lap. "Make sure to support his neck," she whispered, adjusting Riley's arm to support the boy's head. "Oh yes, you're hungry aren't you?" Maura smiled at the crying baby before handing Riley the bottle. "Don't go too fast, give him some moments to breathe. Use this cloth for spitting."

Riley nodded but didn't look away from her baby brother in her arms, smiling when the boy latched on to the bottle. After a few short moments, he opened his eyes and looked up at his sister. Riley smiled and Maura felt her heart melting.

"His eyes are so blue," Riley said softly, pulling the bottle away to allow her brother to breathe.

"Just like yours." Maura smiled and placed a kiss on Riley's temple before taking a cup of coffee from Jane who sat down next to her. She leaned back into Jane's side and closed her eyes when she felt her wife's lips against her cheek.

"Girls," Angela said from the kitchen, walking over towards the couch, "I have to go but I'll drop off something for dinner later."

"Oh, that's not necessary," Maura protested, "we can cook something."

Angela waved Maura's words while she put on her coat. "Nonsense. You two just enjoy your lovely family. How does spaghetti sound?" 

Maura was about to protest, but she looked at Riley and their baby and realized she wanted to spend every second with her children. Angela's spaghetti actually sounded pretty amazing. She smiled. "Thank you, Angela."

Angela smiled and placed a kiss on top of all of their heads before saying her goodbyes and leaving through the front door. Maura sighed contently and brushed a few strands of hair out of Riley's face.

She knew it wouldn't be like this all the time. She knew the baby would keep them up all night, leaving them exhausted and sleep-deprived. She knew having three children would be difficult. She knew Riley and Lizzie were going to have trouble with the fact that they had to share their mothers with a third child. But right now, everything was perfect.

"When's he gonna get a name, Mama?" Lizzie asked while she stood in between Jane's legs in front of the couch.

"We can't decide," Jane answered, smoothing her daughter's messy curls.

"What are the options?" Riley asked.

Jane looked at Maura, silently asking for approval to tell the girls. Up until now, they kept their ideas for names a secret. But maybe it was time to get the girl's opinion on it.

Maura nodded. "We can't decide between Noah, Aaron or Joshua."

"That's pretty names," Lizzie said, looking at the baby with a smile. She leaned forward, her hands on Jane's knee. "Baby?" she asked softly. "You wanne be called Noah or Aaron or Joshua?"

Maura laughed and caressed Lizzie's cheek with the back of her hand. "He can't say, honey." 

"I know."

"Which name do you like?"

Lizzie bit her lip and furrowed her brow while she thought about that. "Noah."

"I like Joshua," Riley said, moving the bottle away from the baby's mouth again to let him breathe. "Josh, for short. It's a cool name. But so is Aaron."

"So then we're back to square one." Jane chuckled.

"Hey, Moms?" Riley asked, putting the bottle to the baby's little mouth again. "If you gave birth to Lizzie and me, what would you've called us?"

Maura smiled, caressing the baby's little fingers with her own. "I don't know. I like the names Riley and Lizzie."

"My daddy picked the name Lizzie," Lizzie said with a proud grin, straightening her back.

"He did a very good job." Jane pulled Lizzie into her lap and kissed her temple.

Lizzie nodded, but her facial expression dropped after she mentioned her father. Sometimes, at moments like this, the girl suddenly remembered her parents were dead. She suddenly remembered how much she missed them and how much it hurt. The wounds in her young heart suddenly got torn open and she started bleeding again.

Maura saw Lizzie's bottom lip quivering. She cupped the girl's face and smiled as she looked into light brown eyes. "Your daddy did a very good job picking the name Lizzie, Elizabeth," she whispered, brushing her thumbs across Lizzie's cheeks. "Your parents did a very good job bringing you into this world."

Lizzie nodded as a single tear made its way down her cheek, the mood shifting quickly. "You mean when I was a baby like Noah? I mean," Lizzie shook her head and sniffled, "Joshua?"

"Yeah," Jane whispered, gently kissing the top of Lizzie's head.

"I miss my first Mommy and Daddy," Lizzie whispered, looking up into Maura's eyes.

"I know, my love." Maura nodded and swallowed her tears. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against Lizzie's forehead. "I know."

"I miss my first mommy too sometimes, Liz," Riley said softly, not looking away from the baby in her arms who was about to finish his bottle. "I thought about when I was a little baby like him," she whispered with a sad smile. "And then I thought, y'know, they loved us a whole lot when we were first born."

Lizzie nodded, wiping her cheeks with the back of her wrist.

"They loved us just as much as Mommy and Mama love this baby," Riley continued, taking the bottle away to trace the baby's cheek with her finger, "and then they died, but they loved us a whole lot. And we got to be with Mama and Mommy so it all turned out okay 'cause they're the best moms in the world, aren't they?"

"Yeah." Lizzie rested her head comfortably against Jane's chest.

"They loved us, and it hurt like hell when they died, but now Mom and Ma love us." Riley shrugged. "It's just the way it goes." She put the now empty bottle on the small table next to the couch. "I'm not saying it's fair, and I'm not saying it doesn't hurt… 'Cause it does."

Maura felt tears trickling down her cheek, but she didn't want to make a sound, afraid to startle Riley out of her thoughts. She held her breath and looked at her oldest daughter holding her baby son.

"It hurts a lot," Riley continued quietly, "and I don't think that ever goes away, to be honest. But we're still lucky, Liz."

Lizzie nodded against Jane's chest. "We're lucky 'cause we're with Mama and Mommy now," she whispered.

Riley smiled and Maura carefully reached out to adjust the baby in Riley's arms, moving him up against the girl's chest to make him burp. She put the cloth on Riley's shoulder and gently patted the boy's back while she pressed her lips against Riley's temple.

"Yeah," Riley replied softly. "We're just not as lucky as the baby."

Lizzie hummed. "'Yeah 'cause he's with us right from the start."

Riley nodded while she carefully patted the baby's back. "Yeah. Although all that doesn't make you miss your parents any less, does it?"

"No." Lizzie sniffled and wiped her cheeks again.

Maura swallowed her tears and gently took the baby from her daughter, resting him against her own chest to try and get him to burp. She inhaled his lovely baby-smell and closed her eyes as she rested her cheek against his tiny head.

"But," Lizzie whispered quietly, barely audible, "I… I'm afraid Mama and Mommy's gonna die too."

Maura kept her eyes closed as she felt a few tears slowly trickling down her cheeks. She heard Jane kissing their youngest daughter and she felt Riley shifting next to her.

"We're not going to die, baby," Jane replied quietly. "We're not going anywhere."

"How do you know?"

Jane sighed deeply. "I don't. But I know we're gonna do everything, _anything_ in our power to see our three kids grow up."

"Promise you're not gonna die?"

Maura opened her eyes and saw Lizzie looking up at Jane through her tears.

Jane poked Lizzie's nose and smiled. "Promise." She kissed the girl's forehead and looked at her wife and son next to her. "You don't think I'm gonna let Mommy change all his poopy diapers by herself, do you?"

Lizzie giggled, wiping the last of her tears. "No."

Maura smiled and placed a kiss to her baby's head after he burped. "He should be put to bed," she whispered, her voice still slightly hoarse from her tears.

"May I?" Jane reached out her arms and smiled as Lizzie climbed off her lap and she gently took the baby from Maura's arms, ready to take him upstairs in the brand new decorated baby room, the last room available upstairs. It was quite small and probably not big enough once he got older, but it was just fine for now.

Maura placed a few more kisses on the boy's head before allowing her wife to take him, smiling lovingly when she saw the care and love in Jane's movements.

Jane looked at him and smiled a loving smile. "I think he's a Noah."

Maura hummed, standing up to stand next to her wife. "Noah," she whispered, stroking the boy's head with the back of her fingers. "Yeah," she smiled as she looked up at Jane. "I think so too. Noah Joshua. How's that?"

Jane nodded. "Noah Joshua Rizzoli-Isles." She was transfixed on her son and smiled a loving smile. "Hi, Noah." Jane carefully kissed the sleeping boy's head, her eyes filling with tears of love. "My beautiful Noah."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Maybe I should just quit my job," Jane said while she looked at the little baby boy in her arms. "I hate my job."

Maura chuckled. "No, you don't. You love your job, you just hate leaving Noah." She pressed a kiss to Jane's cheek and patted her leg, urging her to get out of bed.

After his morning bottle, the women took the little boy in their own bed to enjoy their beautiful treasure for an hour before Riley and Lizzie would have to get ready for school. They were still in that early baby haze, but Jane could tell it was starting to wear off. The sleepless nights were exhausting them, the stinking diapers were starting to frustrate her and Noah's frequent cries gave her headaches. But, one look at that beautiful boy in her arms made Jane realize it was all more than worth it.

"Jane," Maura cupped Jane's cheek and looked into her eyes. "Go. Go find the person that killed that woman. Go do what you can do better than anyone I know."

Jane looked back the baby in her arms, unable to take her eyes off him. She didn't expect to be this emotional about going back to work. Yes, she hated the stinky diapers and the way he could cry so hard it made your ears bleed, but she would gladly stay home for all of that right now. She looked at Noah who was sleeping peacefully in his mother's arms, his tiny little fists resting next to his head.

Jane felt her wife's lips pressing against her temple and she closed her eyes at the touch. "I want to stay with you and Noah," she whispered. "I don't want to miss a minute of his life."

"I know," Maura replied quietly. "I know it's hard. But you know you have to go." She gently cupped Jane's cheek and turned her head, looking into her eyes for a second before capturing her wife's lips in a loving kiss.

Jane felt her wife's soft lips against hers before dipping her tongue into familiar territory, moaning slightly at the deep kiss. When they broke apart, Jane smiled and rested her forehead against Maura's. "I know."

"I love you, Jane," Maura whispered, placing another kiss on Jane's lips. "I love you so much."

"Now I really don't want to go and just keep kissing you." Jane smirked and kissed her now laughing wife. "You're such a good kisser."

Maura hummed. "Because of you."

"Y'know, the good thing about not giving birth is that we can have sex again right after the baby's born." Jane smirked and raised her eyebrows.

Maura chuckled. "Yes, but as the past few weeks have proven, there's not a lot of time left between feeding Noah, changing diapers, getting him to stop crying and taking care of our two other children while trying to get some sleep ourselves."

Jane nodded, pressing her lips just above Maura's. "I miss you," she whispered. "I miss touching you and feeling you."

Maura sighed deeply and closed her eyes. "I miss that too."

Jane smiled a slight smile when she felt Maura's lips grazing her own. "I love you too, you know."

Maura nodded. "I know."

Jane looked at her watch and groaned, eliciting a disappointed smile from her wife. "You have to go. Lizzie will be late for school if you don't leave now."

"Yeah." She looked back at the baby in her arms and smiled while she pressed her lips against Noah's forehead. "I love you, baby," she whispered. "Be good to Mommy, okay? She's tired."

Noah twitched his fingers and Jane kissed his little head. "I'll take that as a 'yes Mama, I'll be good'."

Maura chuckled. She carefully took their son from her wife and stood up to put Noah to bed. Jane sighed while she followed her, kissing Noah before heading downstairs to say goodbye to Riley and take Lizzie to school.

Riley was sitting at the dinner table while she finished her breakfast and Lizzie was scurrying around the living room to decide which toy she should bring to school today; she was only allowed to take one. "Are you ready for school, baby?"

Lizzie nodded. "Can I bring Captain America, Mama?"

"Sure." Jane smiled and walked towards Riley to kiss her temple. "Morning."

"Morning." Riley stayed into her bowl of cereal and didn't smile.

"You okay, honey?"

Riley nodded. "Fine." She picked up her empty bowl to drop it into the sink. "I'm just stressed because of algebra today, that's all."

Jane hummed and furrowed her brow. "Didn't your mom help you with that?"

"She said she would," Riley shrugged, "but Noah needed a bath so I did the homework myself."

Jane sighed. "She's just busy, baby." She walked towards her oldest daughter and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Just ask her again if it doesn't go well today. I'm sure she'll help you. Okay?"

Riley nodded and showed a slight smile. "It's okay. I understand. I'm gonna have to do it by myself at some point, right?"

"Maybe. But as long as you have a genius like your mom around, you better take advantage of that."

Riley chuckled but shook her head. "I'm fine." She looked up at her mother and smiled. "I promise."

Jane nodded and wrapped her arms around the skinny teenager, pulling the girl close to her chest. "I know it's hard," she whispered. "With Noah here. Everything's changing now that there's suddenly a baby in the house. Your moms don't have as much time as they did before, the dynamic of our family changed…" Jane smiled and kissed the side of Riley's head. "You'll get used to it, I promise. It'll get better."

Riley nodded against her mother and wrapped her skinny arms around Jane's waist. "I know."

Jane pulled back and cupped Riley's face to kiss her forehead. "I love you, baby."

"Love you too, Ma." Riley wrapped her arms around Jane's neck for a quick, squeezing hug. "And I love Noah too."

"And me too!" Lizzie yelled as she ran into the kitchen.

Riley laughed. "Yeah."

Jane pulled back and smiled, but her smile fell when she saw Maura walking into the kitchen, the blonde's mouth falling open as she saw her wife. "Jane! You're officially going to be late now!" She shook her head and grabbed Lizzie's backpack from the kitchen counter, handing it to Lizzie. "Go put on your coat, baby."

Lizzie ran towards the closet to retrieve her coat while Jane leaned over to her wife for a quick kiss. "I'll drive fast. Lizzie will be on time."

Maura sighed. "I should hope so." She kissed her wife and squeezed her arm. "I love you. Be safe."

"I love you too." Jane smiled at her wife but Maura slapped her arm.

"Now go!"

Jane chuckled and grabbed her car keys to walk after Lizzie who was already standing at the front door. Maura ran towards the little girl and scooped her up in a quick hug. "I love you, sweetheart. Have fun today."

"Love you too, Mommy."

Jane hurried towards her car and helped Lizzie into the backseat before she got behind the wheel to drop her daughter off at school. "Are you gonna do anything fun today?" Jane asked, looking in the rearview mirror at the little girl in the backseat.

Lizzie shrugged. "I don't know. Ms. Chapman said if we did good at math, we're gonna have more time for arts."

"Hm, so you better do well at math then?"

"Yeah."

Jane smiled while she turned around the corner. Lizzie was creative and she loved to draw. Her imagination was an endless world of adventures, heroes and made-up animals. After a few minutes of silence, Jane asked, "Is Ms. Chapman still a fun teacher?"

"Yep. She's nice, I like her." Lizzie chuckled as she looked out of the window. "One time, Matt glued his book and pencil to his desk and Ms. Chapman said he gotta keep them on the desk for the rest of the day."

Jane smiled. "Matt sounds like a funny kid."

"He's real funny." Lizzie giggled to herself. "But he's bad too sometimes."

"Is he your friend?"

Lizzie shrugged. "I guess. We play together at recess."

"Don't let him get you doing bad things, okay?" Jane smirked as she stopped the car in front of Lizzie's school. "Do you want me to go in with you?"

Lizzie shook her head. "Nope."

"Alright." Jane unbuckled her seatbelt and turned towards her daughter. "Kiss?"

Lizzie stood up from the backseat and wrapped her short arms around her mother's neck, squeezing tightly before kissing Jane's cheek. "Love you, Mama." 

"I love you too, baby." Jane smiled as she kissed the side of Lizzie's head and patted her arm. "Now go before you're late."

Lizzie pulled back and climbed out of the car. "Bye, Mama!"

"Bye, Liz." Jane took off after she watched Lizzie walking into the building. She looked at her watch and saw that she was already later than she promise to be there. She felt her phone vibrating in her lap and groaned when she looked at the screen, seeing Korsak's name on it. She parked the car in front of BPD, grabbed her jacket from the passenger seat and hurried inside.

"Finally!" Korsak met her at the reception desk. "Where've you been?"

Jane shrugged and put on her jacket. "Dropping Lizzie off at school."

Korsak hummed and motioned Jane to follow her to his car. "Smooching the baby, I'll bet."

Jane blushed. "Shut up."

Korsak chuckled as she shook his head while they walked towards his car. "We already investigated the crime scene yesterday, I sent you the report."

"Yeah, I read it." Jane sat down in the passenger seat and waited until Korsak sat behind the wheel. "Where are we going?"

"To interrogate the neighbor of our victim."

"And why are we in a hurry?"

"He's not easy. He'll be out of the country if we don't get to him this morning."

Jane sighed and rubbed her forehead. She wanted baby snuggles instead of desperate bad guys. Korsak pointed to a file in the backseat and Jane turned to grab it, reading through the guy's criminal record.

After a while, Korsak carefully broke the silence. "So how's the baby?"

"Good." Jane smiled. "Crying our ears off. Pooping like a machine. Most beautiful kid in the world."

Korsak smiled at his partner's loving words. "And Riley and Lizzie?"

"Fine, I think. Still adjusting."

Korsak hummed. "How did Lizzie like the action figure?"

"You mean the Captain America doll you gave her?" Jane smirked. "She loves it. Took it with her to school this morning."

Korsak smiled and stopped the car in front of a red light. "You really don't want to be here, do you?" 

Jane sighed deeply and contemplated whether or not she should be honest to her partner. She decided she would be. "No." She rubbed her hands over her face and combed her fingers through her hair. "I hate to leave Maura and Noah at home. She's so tired."

"I bet she wants you to get back to work, though."

"She does." Jane smiled and closed the file in her lap. "She didn't take less hours for nothing. I just want to be there with her."

Korsak turned the car into a bad looking neighborhood. "You'd get so tired of it if you'd stay home all the time."

"I know." Jane shook her head and composed herself. "I know this is where I should be. I'll get over it."

"I hope so." Korsak chuckled and slowed down, looking through the houses to look for the right one. "We can't lose Jane Rizzoli."

Before she knew it, she was back in her 'detective Rizzoli-mode'. She was good at interrogating suspects and solving mysteries. When they drove back to the precinct, Maura had sent her a picture from Noah and she almost burst out crying but she got distracted soon enough by a third suspect being brought in.

The rest of the day was hectic. The team had to work with the new assistant ME who wasn't nearly as good as Maura, so everything took longer. On top of that, a second murder occurred so the team was packed. Jane wanted to get home before dinner, but that didn't work out.

It wasn't until after nine PM that she finally walked through the front door. The living room was empty. Jane sighed deeply and shrugged off her jacket, put her keys on top of the counter and walked upstairs.

Noah's bedroom door was open and Jane heard the sound of Riley's clear voice. She smiled and carefully walked closer, listening to her daughter's beautiful voice, singing a soothing song to her baby brother.

Jane felt tears in her eyes as she stepped closer and watched Riley sitting in the rocking chair in the corner of the room, her little brother in her arms while she was feeding him, singing softly. It's been a while since Jane heard Riley sing. She had missed the girl's beautiful voice. She decided she didn't want to break their moment and headed towards Lizzie's bedroom.

Lizzie was already sleeping, so she silently slipped inside and bent over the little girl to press a careful kiss to the girl's forehead, before walking towards her own bedroom. She found a sleeping blonde and smiled.

She tried to be as quiet as possible, but Maura stirred as Jane walked into the bedroom. She looked up and smiled a tired smile.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay." Maura shook her head and rubbed her eyes with one hand, her other clutching the baby monitor. "I have to feed Noah anyway. Isn't he awake yet?"

"Riley is feeding him."

Maura furrowed her brow. "Riley?"

Jane nodded. "I guess she heard him before you did and decided to let you sleep."

Maura sighed deeply. "God I never meant to put that burden on her."

"Burden?" Jane smiled and sat net to her wife on the edge of the bed. "Listen." She took the baby monitor from Maura's hand and turned up the volume. Riley's soft voice sounded through the room and Maura smiled as tears sprung to her eyes. She sniffled and hid her face into the crook of Jane's neck.

Jane smiled and wrapped her arms around her wife. "How was your day?"

"Fine," Maura answered quietly. "I got to review autopsy reports while Noah slept and then some after I picked up Lizzie."

Jane hummed. "Sounds like a good day."

"It was." Maura smiled and pulled back to wipe her tears. She looked at Jane and caressed her cheek with the palm of her hand. "You look tired."

"I am. Tough day."

"Any progress?"

"Barely."

Maura sighed. She straightened her back and took a deep breath to compose herself. Jane looked intently at the blonde and brushed a strand of hair behind Maura's ear. "Maur," she whispered. "Are you okay?"

Maura nodded. "I'm fine. I'm just tired, that's all."

"How about I take the night shift this time?" Jane asked with a smile. They usually took turns, but Jane saw how desperately Maura needed her sleep.

"That's okay," Maura shook her head. "You don't have to."

"I want to." Jane brushed her fingers through Maura's hair and gave her a loving smile. "You need a full night sleep."

Maura sighed deeply, listening to the sound of Riley's voice for a moment. "What I need is some time with Riley," she whispered. She smiled a sad smile and looked up at her wife. "She needs my help with her homework but I simply heven't had the time yet. Something happened at school but I haven't had the time to figure out what." Maura rubbed her forehead. "And I need a full night sleep."

"Riley's okay, Maur," Jane replied softly. "And so is Lizzie. They're okay. They're just adjusting."

Maura nodded. "I know." She turned towards her wife and pressed her lips against the brunette's for a loving kiss. When they broke it, Maura sighed and stroked Jane's cheek. "I want to give Noah a goodnight kiss."

They stood up from the bed and Jane followed her wife into their baby son's bedroom, seeing Riley just standing up from the chair to put her little brother back to bed. Maura smiled at the skinny teenager. "You didn't have to feed him, honey."

Riley shrugged. "It's okay. You were sleeping. I didn't want him to wake you."

Maura carefully took the baby from her daughter, pulling the boy to her chest. "Thank you, my love." She looked at Noah and smiled a loving smile. "Hi, beautiful." She pressed her lips against his forehead and looked at her wife. "Guess who's home?"

Jane took the boy from Maura and held him in her arms as she kissed the top of his head. His eyes were slowly turning a darker shade of blue, his hair a dark red and he became more beautiful everyday. "Hey, gorgeous." Jane smiled and kissed his small head, eliciting an adorable sound from the little boy.

She looked up and saw Maura kissing Riley's temple, looking lovingly at their oldest daughter. "Thank you," she whispered again.

Riley shrugged. "No problem. I'm gonna go study some more and then sleep."

Maura sighed and nodded. "Don't go to sleep too late, okay?"

"Okay."

"Kiss?" Maura opened her arms and welcomed her daughter into a hug while she kissed the girl's cheek. "I love you, baby. I love you for taking such good care of your little brother."

Riley smiled against Maura's shoulder. "I love you too, Mom."

Maura pulled back and cupped Riley's face. "I promise I'll try to make more time for you."

"That's okay."

Maura shook her head. "You need help with algebra, don't you?"

Riley shrugged.

"I'll help you before your next class. Promise."

Riley nodded and showed a slight smile. "Thanks."

"Good night, baby." Jane gave her daughter a quick kiss before she could walk out of the room. She turned her attention back to Noah and smiled as she met with big blue eyes. "Aren't you tired?" she whispered with a chuckle. "You're gonna keep us up for a while, aren't you?"

Maura stepped towards her wife and traced Noah's pink cheek with her fingers. "Yes, he will. He knows how much his Mama missed him today, so he'll stay awake to catch up on a lot of cuddles."

Jane rolled her eyes but smiled a loving smile when she felt Noah's small fingers wrapping around her own. She leaned in closer and kissed his forehead. "I love you, Baby Rizzoli-Isles," she whispered, barely audible. "I love you."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

It had been three weeks since Maura last helped Riley with her homework. Since then, Maura had been occupied with other things. She couldn't give Riley her undivided attention and that bothered her. Lizzie was doing okay; she knew she was. Lizzie was content with a quick hug and a talk and some snuggles before bed. When she needed something, she asked for it. Riley was different. She didn't ask for help. She suffered in silence.

Maura had thought she would create more free time by working less hours, but it turned out it wasn't that simple. In the mornings, she would feed Noah, drop him off at Angela and head to work, where she could only finish not even half of the things she had to do. She took the rest of her work at home with her, picked up Noah from Angela to feed him, cuddle and put him to bed before getting to work again. By the time Lizzie and Riley were back home, she had a few minutes to chat with them and then she had to get back to her paperwork for a few hours until it was time to prepare dinner and get Noah back out of bed. Her days had been hectic. Yes, she was at home. But her mind was busier than ever.

She knew it would get better. This was just the first few months. Before she knew it, Noah would be sleeping through the night and she wouldn't be so exhausted. Things would get easier. But right now, it was anything but easy.

It was early in the morning. Jane had just left for an emergency case at BPD and Maura was walking through the living room with a crying baby in her arms. "Come on, baby," she said softly, "what's wrong? I fed you, I burped you, you have a clean diaper, you won't sleep…" Maura was close to tears as she rocked her son back and forth. "What's wrong, my love? Are you uncomfortable?"

She adjusted Noah in her arms and sighed when his cries intensified. She tried everything, even singing. But her unsteady voice only seemed to make things worse. When it was time for Riley and Lizzie to get ready for school, she just put the crying baby in his playpen and hurried upstairs to wake her daughters.

"Lizzie," Maura called out as she opened Lizzie's bedroom door. "Time to wake up."

Lizzie groaned and turned onto her side. Maura sighed and placed a kiss on top of the girl's head. "Come on, honey. We're already late." She pulled out some clothes and hung it over Lizzie's chair for her to put on later.

She hurried out of Lizzie's room, sighing when she heard that Noah was still crying downstairs. She knocked on Riley's bedroom door and slowly opened it when she didn't hear a reply. Riley's bed was empty. She listened for a sound but she only heard Noah's faint cries coming from downstairs.

"Riley?" Maura looked around the room and found the bathroom door closed. "Honey?" She knocked on the door. "Are you okay?"

"I don't feel so well," Riley said, her voice weak and laced with tears.

"What's wrong, baby? Can you let me in?" Maura furrowed her brow in concern. Riley didn't usually keep her mother out like this.

"I think I'm sick, Mom."

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" Maura knocked on the door again, knowing it was no use. "Is it your stomach?"

"…yeah."

"Honey, please let me in so I can take a look at you," Maura pleaded, resting her head against the cold wood of the bathroom door. "I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine," Riley replied in a weak voice. "Can you just call me in sick for school?"

"No." Maura's voice turned strict and she shook her head. "If you need me to call you in sick, you're not fine. Now open the door so I can determine what's causing you to be so upset."

Maura knew she had gotten through to her daughter and heard the lock on the door opening after a few seconds. She opened the door and saw the teenager looking at her with shimmering eyes, her face pale and sweaty, dark circles under her eyes. Maura sighed deeply and cupped Riley's face, pressing her lips against the girl's forehead to determine her temperature. "No fever," she whispered. She pulled back and looked into the girl's eyes. "But something definitely is off."

Riley weakly shook her head.

Maura nodded, feeling tears burning in her eyes. "My love," she whispered. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Riley shrugged and pulled her robe tighter around her shoulders. "Noah's crying." 

Maura sighed deeply and closed her eyes. "I know. I can't get him to stop."

"You want me to sing to him? That helped last time."

Maura shook her head and swallowed her tears. "No. No, you go get some rest." She kissed Riley's brow. "Get back into bed. I'll call you in sick for the day."

"Thanks." Riley looked down at her feet and Maura's stomach twisted in concern. She wasn't in favor of Riley missing school, but she knew her daughter's health was more important than her education. Whether this was about mental health or physical health, Riley needed a day at home.

She guided Riley back into her bed and tucked her in warm blankets. She pressed her lips against Riley's temple and brushed the girl's brown hair back. "I love you, sweetheart," she whispered. "Don't ever forget that."

Riley nodded. "I know."

Maura kissed her daughter one last time before heading back downstairs, towards her still crying son. She groaned softly and took him back into her arms, giving up hope in him calming down by himself. "Come on, baby," Maura whispered, slowly getting desperate. "Help Mommy out here, okay? Mommy's so tired."

She pressed her lips against Noah's head and swayed him from side to side. "Mommy's here, baby. Just calm down. No need to cry. Mommy's always here." His cries slowly turned less excruciating and Maura took a deep breath. "That's it, baby. My beautiful baby boy." She kissed is forehead and carefully pulled him closer into her arms. "Oh, I know you're upset. I just can't seem to figure out why. Just like with your sister."

She smiled when Noah slowly started to calm down. "That's it. Good boy."

Noah stayed quiet after that, much to Maura's relief. She got Lizzie ready for school; she would be driven by the parents of a classmate that lived close by. She made sure to give the girl some snuggles and multiple 'I love you's' before she headed out. After Lizzie left, Maura looked around the now quiet house except for the sounds of Noah's content purrs.

She thought about the amount of work that was waiting for her at the ME office. She thought about her upset daughter upstairs. The choice wasn't hard. She could catch up on her work. She couldn't catch up on time with Riley. So she called the office to tell them she wouldn't be coming in today.

She heard a knock on the door and smiled when she saw her mother-in-law. "Good morning."

"Morning!" Angela walked in and immediately walked towards Noah, who was contently lying in his playpen. "How's my little guy today?"

"He's alright." Maura smiled as she grabbed his diaper bag. "I expect a pretty big diaper this morning, it was empty when he woke up."

Angela hummed and lifted Noah into her arms. "We can handle that, can't we Noah?" She looked at Maura and furrowed her brow. "Are you alright, honey?"

Maura sighed. She rubbed her forehead and closed her eyes for a second. "I need some time with Riley."

Angela seemed surprised by Maura's sudden admission. "Is she okay?"

Maura shook her head. "No." She swallowed a lump in her throat. "I just need some time with her."

"Do you need me to watch Noah this afternoon as well?"

"Oh, would you?" Maura pleadingly looked at the older woman in front of her.

"Of course." Angela smiled and took the diaper bag from her daughter-in-law. "Go be with your daughter. She needs you more than he does right now."

Maura nodded. "Thank you." She pressed a kiss to Noah's head and stroked his cheek. "I love you, baby. Be good to Grandma, okay?"

"Oh we're gonna be fine." Angela smiled as she kissed Maura's cheek. "Go have a fun day with Riley. Take her out. Go shopping. Get her some Mom-time."

Maura nodded and smiled a grateful smile. "I will. Thank you."

She waved Angela goodbye and walked back upstairs towards Riley's bedroom. She opened the door and saw Riley lying in bed, her arms wrapped around herself.

Maura carefully sat down on the edge of the bed, facing Riley's back. She sighed deeply when Riley didn't respond in any way. Maura swallowed hard and lay down beside her daughter. The silence seemed to last forever. Maura just stared at the back of Riley's head, watching her skinny body moving with the shallow breaths she took. She wanted nothing more than to wrap the girl up in her arms but she knew Riley needed to initiate that herself. It wasn't until minutes later that Riley turned around to face her mother.

"Hi, my love," Maura whispered, gently tucking a strand of hair behind Riley's ear.

Riley showed a sad smile through her tears. "Why are you not at work?" she asked, her voice weak and vulnerable.

"Because you need me more than my work does."

"I-…" 

"Don't say you're fine," Maura interrupted her. "You're not."

Riley gave in. She shook her head as tears spilled on her cheeks. She moved to sit up against the headboard, hugging her knees to her chest. Maura sat up next to her and rested her head on her hand while she looked at the girl. She reached out to smooth her daughter's messy bed-hair, smiling at the way it seemed lighter in the early morning sun. "Please talk to me," Maura whispered. "Just tell me what's upsetting you."

Riley shook her head.

"Please, honey." Maura's tears fell on her cheeks. "I want to help you."

"I can't," Riley mumbled while she hid her face into her knees. "It's too horrible."

"What is?"

Riley just shrugged.

Maura sighed deeply and sniffled her tears away before she brushed her hand through Riley's hair. "What is, my love?"

"I-…" Riley sighed and didn't move her head from her knees, avoiding any form of eye contact with her mother. Her shoulders dropped and Maura knew she was giving in. "I feel like Noah is the most important now and that we are all less important and…" Riley choked on her tears and clutched her arms around her legs, "and I know that's awful to think and I love Noah and he deserves all that but I just… Sometimes I just…" A loud sob escaped Riley's lips and she started shaking. "It's too horrible."

Maura shook her head, even though Riley couldn't see that. "Sometimes you wish things would be like they were before," she whispered. "Before we got a baby."

Riley nodded weakly. "Yeah."

"I know." Maura sighed deeply and wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand. "I feel it too sometimes."

Riley lifted her head and looked at her mother, her shimmering eyes wide in surprise. "You do?"

Maura nodded and smiled a sad smile. "I do." She wiped Riley's wet cheeks but the girl's tears just kept on falling. "I love Noah. I love that baby with all my heart, just like I love you and Lizzie. I would never, ever give him up and I don't regret our decision in any way." She brushed her daughter's hair back and looked into bloodshot, clear blue eyes. "But sometimes I miss the way it was before. I miss you."

Riley sobbed quietly and nodded, endless amounts of tears streaming down her face. "I miss you too," she whispered through her tears, "and it doesn't make sense 'cause you're home way more often than before the baby but it's just… different and you're always so tired and stressed out. And I-… I f-feel like Noah's taking up all the space in your heart and there's no more room left for the rest of us but I know that's not true and it's all crazy thoughts in my head but I keep having n-nightmares and you-" Riley choked and tried to calm herself, but failed. She sobbed and hid her face into her hands. "You're not there anymore."

Maura felt hot tears trickling down her cheeks and wrapped her arms around Riley's shaking body. Her heart broke at her daughter's words. She knew she was pre-occupied and she knew she had less one-on-one time with her, but she had no idea of the effect it had. "I'm here," Maura whispered through her tears, clutching to the skinny, shaking body in her arms. "I'm always here."

She pulled back and cupped her daughter's face, wiping Riley's tears with her thumbs. "You know, that special place you hold in my heart…" Maura whispered, tears still trickling down her face, "that won't ever go away. That space is reserved just for you. For as long as I live."

Riley sniffled as she looked into Maura's eyes, listening intently to her mother's words.

"My love, you…" Maura sighed and looked up at the ceiling before meeting back with shimmering blue eyes. "You will always hold a special place in my heart. Until the day I die. I promise."

Riley didn't reply. She could only cry.

"I'm sorry I'm not there for you," Maura whispered quietly. "I can't tell you how sorry I am. I want nothing more than to be there for you."

Riley shrugged and wiped her cheeks with the sleeve of her robe. "You're here now."

Maura nodded. "I am. And I'm not going anywhere for a while." She smiled as she opened her arms and Riley let herself fall into them, lowering her knees to accept the warm embrace.

Maura rubbed Riley's back but stopped when she heard the girl hissing out in pain. She closed her eyes. She knew what this meant. Carefully, she pulled back and slid the robe down Riley's shoulders to look at her back.

She met with the sight of familiar white scars on her daughter's bare back. Among those, she saw a few angry red scratches. She looked at Riley's fingernails and saw blood under them. "Oh, baby."

She pulled the robe back up and squeezed the girl back into her arms. "Did it happen in your sleep?"

Riley nodded.

"Is that why you didn't want to go to school this morning?"

She nodded again.

Maura sighed. "You could've woken us up."

"You were busy with Noah."

Maura felt fresh tears springing to her eyes and pulled back to look into Riley's eyes. "It doesn't matter. I have two arms."

"I know."

"Remember how you promised us you'd come to us if you felt a panic attack coming?"

Riley nodded. "Yeah."

"Even if it's in the middle of the night?" 

"Yeah."

"That promise still counts, Riley."

Riley blushed and hid her face into her mother's chest. "I know."

"You don't have to do it all by yourself, my love," Maura whispered, lowering her head to rest it on Riley's. "You're not alone."

"I know." Riley sniffled and wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand.

Maura smiled a sad smile as she kissed the top of her daughter's head. "Can I take a look at your back?"

"It's not so bad."

Maura hummed. She carefully pulled the robe back down Riley's shoulders and traced the scratches with her fingers. They weren't deep. "You're right. It's not so bad." Maura gently placed her hand on Riley's bare back. "Does it hurt?"

"Just a little." Riley shivered and Maura shifted to pull her daughter's robe back up.

She sighed when she saw the girl's body. Riley was fifteen but sometimes Maura doubted if that was true. She had the body of an eleven-year old. Sometimes, Maura wondered if Riley's biological father lied about his daughter's age to get her to go buy him drugs. Sometimes she just worried about Riley's health. Her underweight, skinny body, her bones sticking out from under her skin, her flat chest and lack of development in the rest of her body.

Before she tied the robe back around Riley's waist, she looked at the girl's chest and felt tears burning in her eyes. Most girls her age had to wear a bra. They were developing breasts; becoming a woman. Riley wasn't. Yes, she was starting to develop but she was way too late for a fifteen-year old. The lack of nutrition and care in her early years had something to do with that, but Maura worried.

She looked back up at Riley and saw tears falling down her cheeks as she stared into the distance. Maura wiped her daughter's tears with the back of her hand as Riley took a deep, shuttering breath. "I feel so awful," she whispered. She shook her head and hid her face into her hands. "I'm like a whiny, spoiled kid that wants her mommy."

Maura shook her head and was about to protest but Riley didn't see it.

"It's not like I don't want Noah in our lives," she continued, her voice unsteady. "It's not like I don't want you to spend time with him and I only want you to spend time with me but I just… I feel so awful for needing you so badly."

"Don't," Maura whispered. "Please, don't."

"I must sound so spoiled!" Riley groaned and frantically wiped her cheeks. "You're busy with Noah and I have an emotional breakdown 'cause I can't handle anything by myself and I need your undivided attention! I'm fifteen!"

"Riley, stop it." Maura took her daughter's hands in hers, gently pulling them down from her face. "You're so much more than a regular teenager. You have a kind of strength I've never seen in anyone before. And yes, you need us to handle things. But that's okay."

Riley shook her head. "I ruined your morning with Noah. He needs you too."

"No." Maura smiled and brushed Riley's hair out of her face. "He just needs someone loving to change his diapers, feed him and put him to sleep. Grandma can do that just fine for a day.

Riley looked into Maura's eyes as her bottom lip quivered. "I didn't know I still needed you and Ma like this," she whispered. "I thought I could handle it myself."

Maura leaned forward to kiss Riley's forehead. "You can. You handled a lot of things by yourself the past few weeks, haven't you?"

Riley nodded.

"It just became too much." Maura shrugged and smiled at her daughter. "You handled too many things by yourself, and now you've hit your limit. That's okay."

Riley looked intently at her mother, listening to her words. "Yeah."

"You're handling more and more by yourself. And even if you hit your limit sometimes, you're still making a lot of progress. You never stop taking steps and I'm so proud of you for that."

"It doesn't matter if the steps are small," Riley whispered, repeating her mother's words from years ago, "or even backwards sometimes. As long as you keep taking steps."

A tear trickled down Maura's cheek and she nodded. "Exactly. Today, you took a step backwards. And now you need your mother to remind you of the way forward. That's okay." Maura wiped her daughter's tears with her thumb while she cupped her cheek. "That's perfectly okay. You can't do it all by yourself."

Riley nodded, showing a slight smile. "Maybe one day."

"Oh, yes. One day, you'll realize you've taken a step backwards and reminded yourself of the way forward. Without us. And then another day, you'll realize you haven't taken a step backwards in weeks, maybe even months." Maura squeezed Riley's hand in hers. "Maybe you can do it by yourself one day. But I want you to know that you never, ever have to."

"I know."

"We'll always be here to remind you of the way forward. I'll always be here for a hug, a talk or whatever you need. Maybe I'll be pre-occupied changing Noah's diaper, but I'll be listening."

Riley laughed through her tears. "Oh yeah, let's discuss my problems over the smell of Noah's poop."

Maura chuckled and shook her head. "I know. I meant that even though I can't give you my undivided attention sometimes, I'll always be there. I'll always try my absolute best to help you in any way I can."

"Even if you're changing poop diapers."

"Even if I'm changing poop diapers." Maura laughed and shook her head. "I can do algebra while I'm changing Noah's diaper!"

Riley chuckled. "Yeah. I'd like to see that."

"Oh!" Maura smirked. "I can do it."

"I know." Riley shrugged and pulled her robe tighter around herself. "You're a genius. I know you can multitask."

Maura smiled at her daughter's compliment. She brushed Riley's hair back and smiled at the beautiful teenager. "Hey," she said softly, "are we okay?"

Riley nodded with a smile. "Yeah."

"I love you, my pretty girl." Maura pressed her lips against Riley's forehead and felt tears burning in her eyes when she felt the girl's arms reaching up to wrap around her neck. "I love you so much. Nothing in the world will ever change that."

"I love you too, Mom," Riley whispered. "I'm sorry for being selfish. I didn't mean to be so whiny."

Maura shook her head. "It's not selfish or whiny. I understand."

"It is a little." Riley hid her face into Maura's shoulder and squeezed her arms around her mother's neck. "I'm sorry."

Maura sighed. "It's okay. It's okay to be a little selfish every now and then. We all need that."

Riley nodded and the both of them stayed silent for a short while until Maura pulled back to look at her daughter. "What do you want to do today?"

Riley shrugged, showing a slight smile at the knowledge of having a full day off. "I don't know."

"You can pick anything you want." Maura wiped the last of Riley's tears with the palm of her hand. "We just have to be back in time to pick Lizzie up from school."

Riley fumbled with her hands. "What do you want to do?"

"Anything you want to." Maura smiled and tilted Riley's chin to look into her eyes.

"Can we just go out for breakfast or something?" Riley asked softly, hesitation showing in her eyes. "And then maybe take a walk?"

Maura nodded, delighted to hear her daughter wanted to spend time with her. "Of course."

"And… Then I really need to catch up on some homework and I don't understand biology and geometry."

"Oh, I love biology. And geometry." Maura smiled a bright smile and clapped her hands. "It's going to be a fun day."

"Yeah, geometry." Riley rolled her eyes and chuckled.

"You got to pick!"

Riley giggled. "I know. I'm kidding."

Maura hummed and stood up from the bed, pulling Riley with her. She adjusted Riley's robe and sighed while her expression dropped. "You should take a shower. It won't be pleasant." She caressed Riley's cheek and smiled a reassuring smile. "Come see me afterwards so I can treat those scratches, okay?"

Riley nodded as she shivered slightly. "Okay." She turned around to grab some clothes to wear for the day until Maura stopped her.

"Riley."

"Yeah?"

"I'm incredibly proud of you," Maura smiled at her daughter, "for taking steps. No matter in what direction they are."

Riley shrugged as she pulled a sweater out of her closet. "I found the way forward again," she said while she roamed through a drawer, searching for a pair of pants, "thanks to you."

 _A/N I know it's all fluff and mush but I just can't help myself. Thank you all for your kind reviews and for sticking with me in the fourth (!) story in this world! Please let me know what you thought of this chapter and what else you would like to read. I love all of your suggestions! Your reviews mean the world to me, every single one of them._


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Finally, after a nearly 12-hour day, Jane parked her car in front of their house. The entire day had been hectic and filled with stress. She went from interrogation to interrogation, from witnesses to suspects, back to the morgue and up and she was exhausted.

She missed her wife at work. She used to be excited to go down to the morgue, simply because she got to spend a few minutes with Maura, even if it was just to talk about gross stomach contents or something similar. Maura made everything better. But now, there was new ME and even though he was nice and professional, he wasn't Dr. Isles.

Maura was there during most mornings, but she was usually gone around lunchtime. And Jane missed her. She loved the fact that she and Maura worked together. She loved to witness her wife at work, her wife as the Chief Medical Examiner, as the genius doctor she was. She was incredibly proud to call this intelligent, bright and professional woman her wife.

But when Jane walked through the front door, she saw a sight that put her thoughts at ease. Maura was sitting in the middle of the couch, with Riley's head resting in her lap. Her hand was gently stroking the sleeping teenager's hair while her other hand rested on Noah's belly. The baby was lying on his back facing his mother, sucking on one of his toys as Maura smiled lovingly at him. No matter how much Jane loved to witness Maura as Dr. Isles, Maura as her children's mother would always win.

Maura smiled a tired smile when she saw Jane entering the house and motioned her to be quiet, pointing at their sleeping daughter. "Hi beautiful," she whispered.

"Hi." Jane smiled, put her keys on the table, took off her jacket and leaned down to press a kiss to Maura's lips. "Sorry I'm so late. I meant to be home for dinner but something came up."

"That's okay."

Jane leaned down to kiss the top of Noah's head and smiled at him, tickling his belly before turning to carefully kiss Riley's forehead. "She okay?" Jane whispered, wondering why Riley was asleep just after dinner.

Maura sighed deeply while she continued her loving strokes on Riley's hair. "Nightmares. She scratched her back open in her sleep last night."

"Jesus." Jane closed her eyes and furrowed her brow. "Did you stay home with her? I missed you at work today." 

Maura nodded. "Yes. She needed it, too."

Jane hummed and carefully took Noah in her arms as she sat down next to her wife. "Where's Lizzie?"

"Upstairs. She was making quite a lot of noise while Riley was sleeping so I asked her to go play in her room for a while."

"I'm gonna go give her a kiss." Jane pressed a kiss to Noah's cheek, eliciting a sweet gurgling sound from the baby before she tried to stand up but was stopped by Maura's hand on her arm. "What's wrong?"

Maura looked up at Jane but averted her gaze quickly. "Nothing. Go give Lizzie a kiss. She missed you at dinner."

"Maur," Jane whispered, trying to look into her wife's eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Maura managed a smile and patted Jane's leg. "Go. I'm okay."

Jane furrowed her brow but she nodded, knowing Maura wouldn't give in. She put Noah back in his original position and stood up, giving her wife a quick kiss before heading upstairs.

"Liz?" Jane called out as she walked down the hall towards Lizzie's room.

"Mama?" Lizzie came out of her room and smiled a bright smile when she saw her dark-haired mother. She ran towards Jane and reached up her arms as Jane picked her up from the floor, hugging the little girl to her front.

"Hi, baby." Jane smiled and kissed the side of Lizzie's head. "How was your day?"

"Good." Lizzie's short arms wrapped around Jane's neck and squeezed hard. "How come you wasn't home for dinner?"

"I had to talk to a lawyer," Jane replied as she felt a hint of self-hatred dropping to her stomach. "I'm sorry, baby."

Lizzie just nodded.

"How was school?" 

Lizzie shrugged. "Okay."

"That means it wasn't okay." Jane smiled as she pulled back to look at the girl in her arms. Lizzie was easy to read. Much easier than Riley. And even Maura. She walked into Lizzie's room, shaking her head at the amount of toys that were splayed out on the floor. She sat down on the edge of Lizzie's bed and adjusted the girl in her lap to face her. "Talk to me, honey."

Lizzie shrugged and looked down as she fumbled with a button on Jane's shirt. She squeezed the girl's sides and smiled when Lizzie sighed, knowing she was about spill what was wrong.

"I got homework."

"You did?" Jane raised her eyebrows and brushed a few blond curls out of Lizzie's face. "About what?"

"Reading."

Jane pursed her lips. She knew that reading and writing was difficult for Lizzie. "What do you have to read?"

"A book."

"When do you have to finish it?"

Lizzie's bottom lip started quivering and she shrugged as she desperately tried to hold back her tears. "Friday."

"That's in two days."

Lizzie nodded, a few tears falling down her cheeks.

"When did you get the assignment?"

Lizzie shrugged again, signaling that this was where the real problem was. She leaned forward and hid her face into Jane's shoulder where she cried softly. "Really long ago."

Jane sighed and wrapped her arms around the little girl in her lap. "And you find it so difficult, don't you?"

Lizzie nodded. She sniffled and snuggled closer into the crook of Jane's neck.

"Honey, how come you didn't ask Mommy or me for help?"

"I asked Mommy but she said I gotta try on my own and then if I couldn't she was gonna help me, b-but-…" Lizzie's breath caught in her throat and she wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand, "then I couldn't and I wanna ask Mommy and she was sleeping."

Jane sighed deeply and kissed the top of Lizzie's head. "You could've asked a different time, when Mommy wasn't sleeping. Or you could've asked me. We always want to help you, honey. Even if it seems like we don't have time."

Lizzie shook her head. "I w-wanna show you and Mommy I'm a-… I'm a big girl and I can read books." She sobbed quietly and leaned impossibly closer into the embrace. "But it's too hard!"

Jane felt tears in her eyes and squeezed her arms around the crying girl. "It's okay, baby. It's okay if it's hard. I'm gonna help you, okay?"

Lizzie nodded.

"Where's the book?"

Lizzie slid off Jane's lap and opened her closet, reaching behind her sweaters to get the book she hid from her mothers and herself. Her head hung low as she walked back to Jane and climbed into her mother's lap.

Jane spun Lizzie so her back was against Jane's front and she leaned back against the wall as she opened the book. "Do you know what it's about?"

Lizzie wiped her cheeks and nodded. "Chickens. And pumpkins."

"Exactly." Jane smiled and pointed her finger at the first sentence of the book. "Just tell me what words you can read, and I'll help you with the difficult words. Okay?"

"Okay."

Jane continued to read the sentences along with Lizzie, telling her the difficult words as soon as she got stuck. When Jane gave away the hard word, Lizzie read the sentence again and Jane liked to think it was a good way for the girl to learn.

When they where halfway into the book, Jane closed it and put it aside before she wrapped her arms around the little girl. "You did a very good job, baby."

Lizzie smiled and shifted in Jane's lap to rest her head into the crook of Jane's neck. "Why's it so hard, Mama?"

Jane sighed. "I don't know, honey. It's just hard for you to read, just like it's hard for Riley to do math. That's just how it is, and that's okay. We'll help you and you're gonna be just fine." 

Lizzie nodded and shifted so her front was snuggled against her mother. "I don't like it."

"I know, baby." Jane kissed the top of Lizzie's head and pulled the girl close. "I know."

They stayed silent for a while as Jane felt Lizzie getting sleepy. She smiled at the feeling of her daughter in her lap. She had missed her little girl like this. There hadn't been a lot of time for snuggles lately. "I missed you, baby," Jane whispered. "I'm sorry Mama has to work a lot."

Lizzie shrugged. "'S okay."

"Hey," Jane pulled back and cupped Lizzie's face to look into light brown eyes, "I love you, Liz. I love you very, very much."

Lizzie smiled a slight smile, blushing slightly as she leaned back into her original position. "I love you too, Mama."

Jane tickled Lizzie's sides as she strengthened her grip on her. "My sweet cuddle-bug."

Lizzie giggled. "I'm not a cuddle-bug!"

"Yeah, you are!" Jane continued her tickles, eliciting sweet giggles from the girl in her lap. "You're a bigger cuddle-bug than Mommy!"

"No, I'm not!" Lizzie giggled harder and grabbed Jane's hands to stop her tickles. "Just because you're at work all the time and I miss you when you're not home!"

Jane stopped her tickles and her laughter faded, making place for a loving smile. She couldn't believe the endless love she felt for this little girl. She and her youngest daughter were inseparable and Lizzie looked up at Jane like no one else. Jane loved that girl with everything she had and more.

She carried Lizzie in her arms as she stood up from the bed to head downstairs. "Time for bed, baby." Jane kissed the side of Lizzie's head and walked out of her bedroom. "Let's go give Mommy a goodnight kiss."

Downstairs, Riley was standing up from the couch and Jane smiled at her while she put Lizzie down on the floor. "Liz needs a goodnight kiss, Maur." Jane chuckled as Lizzie hopped towards Maura on the couch, climbing into her mother's lap.

Jane stopped Riley as she walked past her. She brushed her messy hair back and smiled. "Hey, baby," she whispered. "How are you feeling?"

Riley shrugged. "Tired." She smiled a slight smile and stepped forward, wrapping her arms around her mother's waist as she gave her a sweet hug.

"Hm." Jane kissed the top of Riley's head. "Did you have a fun day with your Mom?"

Riley nodded, pulling back with a sweet smile. "Yeah. It was great."

"What did you do?"

"Lots of things," Riley shrugged. "We got breakfast at that cute place by the park and then we took a walk in the forest and talked a lot, and then we went shopping for some clothes 'cause I needed new jeans and warmer shoes and of course Mom bought me two more sweaters and a dress." Riley rolled her eyes but Jane saw a smile in her eyes. "And then she helped me with my homework after we picked up Liz and Noah and we ordered Thai food for dinner."

Jane hummed. She couldn't help but feel a little disappointed she missed a day like that. "Sounds like a great day."

"It was." Riley brushed her hand through her hair and smiled.

Jane sighed and caressed Riley's cheek with the back of her hand. "Things have been hectic lately, hm?"

Riley nodded. "Yeah. But we made up for it today."

"I didn't."

"You're catching bad guys, Ma." Riley smiled up at her mother. "I know things will ease down when you close the case."

Jane nodded. "They will. And then I'm gonna kick your ass at soccer again." Jane chuckled and pulled Riley back into another quick hug. "I promise."

Riley laughed. "Yeah, right. I'm way better than you are!"

Jane huffed and kissed the side of her daughter's head. "We'll see about that."

"Oh yeah." Riley laughed and pinched Jane's arm. "I'm gonna go upstairs to Facetime with Alex."

"Say hi to him from me." Jane smiled as she watched Riley walking upstairs, admiring the girl for keeping such a healthy friendship with her ex-boyfriend.

"Jane," Maura stood up from the couch, holding Lizzie's hand and holding Noah in her other arm as she walked towards her wife, "would you mind giving Noah his last bottle so I can put Lizzie to bed?"

Jane just smiled and took Noah from her wife, looking lovingly at her baby son. She heard Lizzie chatting to her mother as they headed towards the girl's bedroom while Jane grabbed Noah's last bottle for the day.

As soon as the boy finished his meal, Jane burped him and felt her son drifting off to sleep. She kept him against her chest for a while, simply enjoying her baby son in her arms. She listened to the sound of his steady breathing, gently tracing his little fingers that were resting against his mother's chest. She looked at her baby and saw his little, careless and peaceful face. She smiled a loving smile as she kissed his beautiful, auburn hair.

A little while later, she changed Noah into his pajamas and a green sleeping bag before she tucked the sleeping boy into his bed. She heard Maura saying goodnight to Lizzie and smiled at her wife as she met her in the hallway.

"Hi," Jane whispered.

"Hi." Maura smiled but her eyes didn't participate. "Lizzie told me you helped her with her reading."

"I did."

"Why…" Maura sighed and shook her head. "I'm just wondering why she didn't ask me. She had plenty of opportunities."

"I know." Jane took Maura's hand and led them towards their bedroom where she turned on the baby monitor and closed the door. "And you said she had to try herself and then she did, but when she couldn't and wanted to ask you for help, you were sleeping. I guess she just chickened out after that."

Maura closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. "God. This keeps happening."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I don't have enough time for Riley and Lizzie!" Maura's bottom lip quivered and she tried to shake her tears away. "I hurt both of my girls because I simply don't have enough attention for them!"

"Maura, that's not true."

"It is!" Maura wiped her cheeks and started pacing through the room. "You didn't see Riley this morning. She needed me and I wasn't there."

"You made up for it today, didn't you?"

Maura shook her head. "I can't catch up on the time I've lost with her. And now Lizzie…"

"They're gonna be okay, Maur."

"I know, it's just-…" Maura shook her head as her tears slowly trickled down her cheeks. "I miss how it was before. I miss you and I miss my girls and…" She choked on her tears and stopped her frantic pacing. "I don't know!"

"Are you saying we made a mistake by getting Noah?" Jane felt a hint of worry at her wife's words. She had no idea Maura was feeling things like this.

"No! No-… Maybe." Maura shook her head again. "No. I love him. I _love_ him."

"Then why are you saying you miss things like they were before we got him?" Jane felt her throat closing up and she tried to swallow the lump that settled there. "You're scaring me, Maura."

"I don't-… I didn't…" Maura looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath.

"You did." Jane took a step backwards. "What's going on, Maur? Because if you say that that boy in there," Jane pointed at the wall, in the direction of Noah's room, "is a mistake…" 

"No!" Maura stepped forward to take Jane's hand in hers and squeezed softly. "No, Jane."

"Then what?" Jane felt a few tears trickling down her cheeks. "Where's this coming from?"

Maura took a deep, shaky breath. "I miss you." She shrugged and looked at her wife with an apologetic look. "I just miss you." She cried softly, tears falling down her cheeks. "That's it. I miss you as my beautiful, gorgeous, smart, strong and amazing wife. I _love_ having Noah in my arms but I miss you in my arms. I miss kissing you, spending time with you and I miss making love to you."

Maura cried as she placed her hands on Jane's sides, looking into her wife's eyes. "I love you so much, Jane. You're my life. You're my everything. I love you more than anyone, anything in the world." Maura sobbed quietly and shook her head. "I know you're busy at work and I know how important your job is to you-…" 

"Not nearly as important as you are," Jane whispered through her tears, interrupting her wife. She placed her hand on Maura's cheek and gently wiped her wife's tears.

"We didn't make a mistake," Maura whispered. "I love that little boy. I just… I'm adjusting."

"We all are."

Maura nodded and wrapped her arms around Jane's neck, pulling her wife close towards her as she pressed their bodies together. She hid her face into the crook of Jane's neck where she placed soft kisses. "I miss this," she whispered, barely audible. "Just being in your arms. Kissing you. Smelling you. Being with you. Just… _you_."

Jane felt tears falling down her cheeks as she listened to the amount of love she heard in her wife's voice. She fell in love all over again.

Maura's lowered one of her arms from around Jane's neck to wrap it around her wife's waist. "I love Noah. I do. I love coming home to that little baby."

"It's just hard that everything's changing," Jane whispered. "And we didn't have nine months to prepare like people normally do. So now we have to adjust to our new lives. That takes time."

Maura nodded, placing another kiss against her wife's neck. "I know."

Jane pulled back and cupped Maura's face, looking into gorgeous, hazel eyes. "I love you too, you know," she whispered quietly. "And I miss you too. I'm married to the most gorgeous, sexy, intelligent and caring woman in the world and I haven't made time for her in weeks."

Maura shook her head. "It's not your fault." She squeezed her arms around her wife and gently pressed her lips against Jane's, capturing them in a loving kiss.

Jane sighed into the kiss and closed her eyes as she felt her wife's soft lips and a few seconds later, her warm tongue and soft hums. She slowly rubbed her hands across Maura's back, feeling her wife's silky blouse beneath her fingers. Maura's arms just kept pulling her wife closer and closer, as if she wanted to crawl into the brunette.

When they broke the kiss, Jane rested her forehead against Maura's, being at perfect height with her wife in heels. She looked deeply into shimmering hazel eyes and smiled a loving smile. "I love you," she whispered. "Everything in my life is so much better with you by my side. You're the best thing that ever happened to me."

"I love you too." Maura smiled. "Are we done with the mushy talk now?" she whispered with a smirk. "Can I start tearing off your clothes?"

Jane chuckled and squeezed her wife's sides before she reached up to wipe the last of Maura's tears. "Maybe you should sleep," she replied quietly. "You're exhausted."

Maura shook her head. "I need you, Jane. I need you more than I need sleep."

Jane sighed and pretended to roll her eyes. "Alright, if you insist."

Maura slapped Jane's arm and gasped, but she laughed when Jane yanked her down on the bed with her, immediately turning her wife on her back as she hovered over the beautiful blonde, leaning down to resume their perfect kiss.

She needed Maura too. She needed her like she needed air. She needed her wife as a mother for her children, as a partner in life, as her best friend, as her sounding board, as her light and as her lover. She needed every single part of Maura.

She admired the blonde's body, inch by inch. Excruciatingly slow, she traced every single freckle on Maura's skin, every curve, every bump, every wrinkle and every piece of perfection that was her wife. Her hands lovingly admired every part of her lover and Maura's hands did the same with her. It was in these moments that Jane felt most loved. She felt it in the way Maura's skilled hands traced over her abs and back. She felt it in the way Maura looked at her when she entered her. She heard it in her wife's quiet moans and whimpers of delight and love.

Things were changing and change was hard. They were all adjusting and that took time. But one thing was more than clear. They loved each other with all they had. They loved hard and unconditionally. They loved endlessly and forever.


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N I've been getting a lot of reviews and messages saying that Maura prefers Riley to Lizzie. She doesn't. I can see why people might think that, but I never saw it that way. Some kids just have a more special connection with one parent than the other. That doesn't mean it's loved any more or less. I hope this chapter will make this clear. Please let me know what you think! Your reviews mean a lot to me._

 **Chapter 6**

Maura sighed contently as she snuggled into her wife's warm embrace, loving the feeling of the brunette's naked skin against her own. "I'm sorry about what I said," she whispered into the crook of Jane's neck. "I didn't mean it. My emotions took over."

"I know," Jane replied quietly, her voice husky and loving.

Maura moved her hands along her wife's sides, feeling Jane's toned stomach yet soft skin. She sighed happily. She didn't know where her emotional breakdown came from. She knew it came from adjusting to a new situation, she knew she just had to get used to things. But she didn't expect herself to get so emotional about it.

After a few minutes of silence, Noah interrupted their moment with his urgent cries. Maura sighed and started to untangle herself from her wife, but Jane stopped her before she could stand up.

"I'll get him." 

Maura smiled up at Jane. "Can you bring him here?"

"Of course."

A few short moments later, Maura watched Jane walking into their bedroom, holding a crying baby and a filled bottle. Maura eagerly reached out her hands and took Noah in her arms. "Are you hungry, my little man?" She smiled a loving smile and put the bottle to his mouth. Noah latched on immediately.

"Sometimes I wish we could breastfeed him," Jane whispered while she sat on the bed next to her wife. "I think that would be something really special, you know?"

Maura nodded, adjusting the boy's pajamas to cradle him against her bare skin. "I know." She smiled as her baby son looked up at his mother with his big blue eyes. "It's a different kind of closeness."

Jane rested her chin on Maura's shoulder and gently stroked Noah's head. "I'll take this too, though."

Maura smiled, carefully pulling Noah closer towards her. She pulled the bottle away to give him a breath and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Oh I love you, my beautiful baby," she whispered quietly. She chuckled when Noah started squirming for his bottle again. "I'm sorry, here you go."

She watched her son intently and she knew she would never stop loving this little boy. She would love him for the rest of her life. When he would be a toddler, go through puberty, become a man… She couldn't wait. She couldn't wait to love him for every single day to come.

When Noah finished his bottle, Maura's bladder was about to burst and she handed the baby to Jane and stood up to put on her robe. She leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to Jane's lips. "I love you both."

"We love you too." Jane smirked as she patted Noah's back to get him to burp.

When she came back, Jane was wearing a content smile on her face as she held their son in her arms and Maura felt a sense of bliss overwhelming her. She joined her wife in bed and they admired their beautiful son for almost an hour until they really had to get some sleep. The next day would be a free Saturday, but they desperately needed to catch up on a few hours of sleep.

Despite the fact she only slept for a few hours, Maura felt reenergized and happy when she woke up the next morning. She smiled at her still sleeping wife and pressed a careful kiss to her forehead before she got out of bed, stretched her muscles and walked towards the closet. She put on a pair of comfortable jeans and a red sweatshirt, pulling her hair up in a ponytail while she walked back to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

When she finished, she was surprised to hear Lizzie's soft voice. "Mommy?"

"Hi, baby." Maura closed the door and saw Lizzie standing in the doorway of her bedroom, looking up at her mother. She was still wearing her pajamas, her hair messier than ever and she was holding her stuffed animal Stevie to her chest.

"You're up early." Maura smiled a loving smile and walked towards her daughter, kneeling to pick the girl up for a sweet hug. "What's the matter?"

Lizzie shrugged, wrapping her legs around her mother's waist, hooking her ankles together on Maura's back. "Nothing." 

"Hm." Maura nuzzled her nose into Lizzie's unruly curls and smiled. "Did you sleep well?"

Lizzie nodded, relishing in the warmth of her mother. Maura smiled but was unsure of what Lizzie needed in the moment. She sensed that something was off, but she couldn't put her finger on it. She pulled the girl close and carried her downstairs. "What would you like to have for breakfast, baby?"

"I don't know."

"I could make some pancakes?" Maura looked at Lizzie but Lizzie kept her strong hold on her mother. She furrowed her brow and opened one of the cupboards to look for something to eat. "Oh my goodness, we have pre prepared waffles?!"

Lizzie chuckled. "Yeah!"

Maura sighed deeply and shook her head. "Just this once. With fruit. Okay?"

Lizzie nodded and pulled back to show a big smile. "Okay."

Maura kissed the side of Lizzie's head before she put the girl on top of the kitchen counter so she could warm up the waffles and cut up some fruit. "How is your book coming along, honey?"

"Good. Mama helped and now I finished half of the book."

"That's good." Maura smiled as she washed a few strawberries. "I'm proud of you for asking for help, sweetie."

Lizzie nodded and fumbled with the hem of her pajama shirt, swinging her bare feet back and forth. "I'm sorry for not asking before," she said softly.

Maura shook her head. " _I'm_ sorry for giving you the feeling I don't have time for you." She looked at Lizzie and arranged the strawberries on a plate. "You could've asked me, baby."

"I know."

"Here you go, can you give this a taste for me?" Maura chuckled as Lizzie eagerly took the piece of strawberry Maura handed her.

"Tastes good, Mommy," Lizzie replied with her mouth full of fruit.

Maura laughed and helped Lizzie off the counter, handing her a plate before walking towards the couch to take a seat. Lizzie hopped towards the TV. "Can we watch TV, maybe?"

"Just this once."

Lizzie turned on her favorite morning cartoon, grabbed her plate and sat down next to her mother, resting into Maura's side as she picked a strawberry with her fingers. Maura smiled at the little girl and her need for affection. She had missed her mother no less than Riley. Normally, Lizzie wasn't one to be patient and sit with her parents but this morning was different. She was quiet and she seemed at ease.

"Mommy?" Lizzie asked after a few minutes of silence. She reached forward to place her almost empty place on the coffee table and looked up at Maura. "Do you love Riley more than me?"

Maura felt her heart drop to her stomach. Immediate tears sprung to her eyes as she looked into brown, expecting eyes. Lizzie looked at her like she just asked a normal, everyday question. But the question broke Maura's heart. Just the fact that the girl felt the need to ask the question made Maura cry.

"No, my love," Maura answered softly but honestly "Of course not." She cupped Lizzie's face and rubbed the girl's cheek with her thumbs. "Why would you think that, honey?"

Lizzie shrugged. "'Cause I just think so."

"It's not true, baby." Maura wiped a tear from her cheek as she used her other hand to brush it through Lizzie's curls.

"But you're more with Riley," Lizzie said softly, turning her attention away from her mother, "And with Noah."

Maura shook her head. "It's been busy lately. I know." Maura tilted Lizzie's chin and looked into her eyes. "But that doesn't mean I love any of you more than the other. I love you so much, my little girl. I love you with all my heart. You're so, so important to me, to all of us."

Tears trickled down Maura's cheeks. She had no idea where it went so wrong. She had no idea how she managed to mess things up like this. She hurt her little girl. She had to make sure how damn much she loved her youngest daughter. She loved the six-year old that brought joy and happiness to her life.

"Listen." Maura put her plate away and hooked her arms under Lizzie's, pulling the girl into her lap. "I love you all differently. But that doesn't mean less."

Lizzie looked at Maura, but she knew the girl didn't understand.

Maura sighed and looked around, trying to think of a way to make things clear for her daughter. She took Lizzie's hand and led her towards the kitchen where she put Lizzie on top of the kitchen counter. She grabbed a bowl out of a cabinet as well as a cup and a mug. She filled the cup with water. "Can you see how much water is in here?"

Lizzie nodded, looking into the cup.

"Now, I'm going to pour it into here." She poured the water into the bowl and filled the cup again with the same amount of water. "How much is this?"

Lizzie looked into the cup again. "The same."

"Exactly." Maura poured the water into the mug and showed both the bowl and the mug to her daughter. "Can you see how it looks different?"

"Yeah. Now this one looks like it's not as much." She pointed at the bowl.

"But we've seen that it's the same, haven't we?"

"Yeah." Lizzie nodded, listening intently to her mother.

"Sometimes, Riley needs this," she pointed at the mug. "And you need this," she moved the bowl closer towards the mug. "Sometimes Riley needs to spend a day with me because she's upset. And then it looks like this. It looks like I prefer Riley because it looks like she gets more love." Maura picked up the mug to show it to Lizzie. "But it's exactly the same as the water in the bowl, isn't it?"

Lizzie nodded.

"Exactly." Maura smiled, wiping a few last tears as she put the mug and the bowl down on the kitchen counter. "I love you all exactly the same. Maybe you need a mug, and Riley needs a bowl, and Noah needs… a…"

"A bottle?" Lizzie smiled shyly.

"Yes." Maura chuckled and caressed Lizzie's cheek with the back of her hand. "And my love… You get a whole _ocean_ of love. And even more. All the oceans in the world." Maura felt herself choking up at her own words. "I love you so much, Lizzie. Even if it looks like I don't love you as much for a while, please know that I always, always do."

Lizzie looked at Maura with tears in her light brown eyes. "Oceans don't fit in the bowl, Mommy."

Maura chuckled and scooped the little girl up in her arms, squeezing her to her front. "Just like my love for you," she whispered. "My love for you doesn't fit into anything because it's endless."

Lizzie's arms wrapped around Maura's neck and she squeezed hard. "Endless?"

"Yes. That means it has no end. It's endless. So big, that no one can explain it." Maura pressed her lips against the side of Lizzie's head as she walked back to the couch, sitting back in their original spot, this time with her little girl in her lap. She felt Lizzie's short arms wrapping around her neck as she relaxed in Maura's arms. "That's how much I love you," Maura whispered. "You make me so happy, sweetheart."

"Really?" Lizzie's voice was innocent and vulnerable and Maura smiled through her tears.

"Really." Maura gently rubbed Lizzie's back. "You want to know a little secret?"

Lizzie nodded.

"Sometimes when you're asleep at night, and I finished feeding Noah," Maura said softly, "I sneak into your room and sit on your bed to watch you sleep and give you kisses."

Lizzie chuckled softly. "Nooo."

"Yes!" Maura smiled and tightened her arms around the little girl in her lap. "Because sometimes when we have a busy day, and I have to help Riley with school and be with Noah, I miss you. And some days even, I don't get any kisses at all!"

Lizzie lifted her head from Maura's chest and put her hands on her mother's cheeks. Maura smiled a bright smile and felt tears burning in her eyes as Lizzie pressed a few hard, almost painful kisses to her mother's cheek. When she finished, she pulled back and grinned at Maura.

Maura felt hot tears falling down her face as she cupped her daughter's cheeks. "I love you so much, pretty girl," she whispered. "Like an endless ocean."

"I love you like the ocean too, Mommy." Lizzie smiled a shy smile and snuggled back into her mother's warm embrace, nuzzling into Maura's chest. "I just missed you a little," she whispered against her mother.

Maura sighed and smiled slightly. "I know, baby. It's been difficult. We all need time to get used to the fact that there's a baby in the house."

Lizzie nodded, snuggling to get comfortable against her mother. "I like the baby."

"I'm glad to hear that." Maura brushed her hand through Lizzie's messy curls. "Honey," she whispered, "I'm going to make a promise to you and I want you to listen very carefully, okay?"

"Okay."

"I promise I will always, always try my best to help you with anything you need. Whether it's with school, or something else, I'll always be there to help you. Even if it seems like I don't have time, I'll always try to make time for you. I promise."

Lizzie nodded against Maura's chest. "Okay."

"All you have to do is ask," Maura whispered gently. "You don't ever have to be afraid to ask."

Lizzie sighed. "Okay."

Maura wrapped her arms tighter around her little girl and kissed the top of her head. "I love you, baby."

"Love you too, Mommy."

They stayed silent for a while, Lizzie shifting in Maura's lap to watch the TV that was still playing a morning cartoon. After a few minutes, the cartoon was over and replaced by another television show, something that Lizzie clearly wasn't interested in because she grabbed the remote and turned the TV off. She turned sideways into Maura's lap, tucked her legs up to her chest and snuggled her small body into her mother's arms.

Maura smiled at the movement. She pulled her daughter into her warm, safe embrace and placed a kiss on top of her head. "What do you want to do today, Lizzie?"

"Hm?" Lizzie put her thumb into her mouth as her fingers played with the sleeve of Maura's sweater.

"Would you like to pick something to do today?" Maura asked with a smile. "Mama and I both have the whole day off."

Lizzie pulled her thumb away and pursed her lips, thinking of the possibilities. "Can we go to the forest?"

Maura smiled. She loved that her children wanted to do simple things together. She knew Lizzie could've picked literally anything, but she wanted to go take a walk in the forest. "Of course."

"Mommy," Lizzie whispered, her voice hesitant and laced with a sense of guilt.

"Yes, love?"

"I didn't tell you something."

Maura furrowed her brow and looked at the girl resting on her chest, watching Lizzie's cheeks blushing red and her expression dropping. "What didn't you tell me?"

Lizzie took a deep breath. "I got another book from Ms. Chapman," she whispered. "'Cause she says I gotta practice."

"Well, that's good, isn't it? That way you can practice so maybe it'll be less difficult."

Lizzie sighed against Maura's chest. "I don't wanna practice. It's boring and stupid."

"Don't say that." Maura shook her head and caressed Lizzie's cheek with the back of her hand. "Mama and I are going to help you. It'll be fun."

"No, it won't."

"Not with that attitude, no." Maura's voice turned strict but she strengthened her arms around Lizzie at the same time. "Try to be positive, okay?"

Lizzie groaned softly. "Okay."

Maura sighed and thought about the possibility of dyslexia. She knew Lizzie was having more trouble reading and writing than an average six-year old, but she couldn't really determine how behind she really was. Maybe it was just hard for her. But maybe it was more. Maybe this was a deeper problem.

It wasn't the first time dyslexia entered Maura's mind. She had thought about it before, but she hadn't discussed it with Jane yet. She didn't want to worry anyone. If Lizzie actually was dyslectic, Maura didn't know is she could stay in the same school or work at the same level as her peers. Lizzie did just fine in math and all other subjects that didn't involve too much reading or writing. She was talented at art and coming up with ideas. She could take the lead and she was good at planning and organizing, even at her young age. It was just the reading that made everything more difficult.

Maura closed her eyes, feeling her daughter shifting comfortably in her lap. She gently rubbed Lizzie's back with her right hand while her other hand brushed through the girl's blond curls. She hated to see her little girl having so much trouble.

But whether it was dyslexia or not, Maura knew they would do anything to give Lizzie the help she needed. She would do anything in her power to help Lizzie as best as she could, and she would try everything to make Lizzie feel better at all times.

She loved her children. She loved them all in different ways. They all needed to be loved in different ways. Yes, she failed Lizzie. She failed the little girl and she made Lizzie doubt her mother's love for her. That broke Maura's heart. She failed. But she did everything she could to fix it.

She loved her children in different ways because they needed to be loved in different ways. She just had to let them know that her ocean of love had no horizon, no shore and no bottom. It was poured into different shapes, but it would always be endless.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N I tried to write a little crime into this story. It's not my strongest point, but I hope you like it. Sorry for the delay in updating, school is crazy right now! Please let me know your thoughts and feelings about this chapter and as always, suggestions for storylines are very welcome._

 **Chapter 7**

"Come sit, Liz." Jane patted the chair next to her and Maura, inviting her youngest daughter to sit down at the dinner table.

Lizzie hopped onto the chair, sat up on her knees and looked expectantly at both her mothers.

Maura sighed and took Jane's hand in hers, squeezing lightly. "Honey, remember how you had to make a test at school a while ago?"

"Yeah." Lizzie nodded. "It was real boring."

Jane chuckled, quickly looking at Noah in his bouncy chair next to the table before turning her attention back to Lizzie. Riley was upstairs, studying for a test and Jane and Maura got the results from Lizzie's dyslexia-test back that morning.

Jane sighed and felt Maura's hand gripping hers tightly. "Have you ever heard the word dyslexia?" Maura asked.

Lizzie shook her head. "Nope. What's that?"

"It's a reading disorder," Maura replied softly. "It's a learning disability that causes you to have trouble with reading."

Lizzie blinked her eyes a few times before she lowered her shoulders, looking annoyed at her mother. "Mommy. I don't know what that means."

Jane smiled. "You have dyslexia. That means that it will always be very difficult for you to read. Your brain is a little different, and it makes it really hard to read and write."

Lizzie furrowed her brow and lowered herself off her knees. "My brain?"

Jane nodded. "Yeah. There's nothing wrong with you, don't think that." She smiled reassuringly but she felt the concern in the little girl. "You just need extra help with reading because it will always be difficult for you."

"Always?" Lizzie whispered, tears starting to show in her light brown eyes.

"Yes, baby." Maura sighed and shifted closer towards Jane, looking at her youngest daughter. "I'm sorry."

"Dys-… Dyx…"

"Dyslexia."

"So, am I sick?"

"No, honey." Jane shook her head. "You're not sick. You're just different than the other kids your age."

Lizzie sighed. Her bottom lip quivered and she lowered her gaze as a tear fell down her cheek. "But I wanna be smart," she whispered. "I wanna be smart like Mommy."

Jane heard her wife sniffling softly behind her as the detective reached out and pulled Lizzie into her lap. "You are smart, honey. Dyslexia doesn't mean you're not smart. You're very good at other things. You did so awesome in math! Didn't you?"

Lizzie shrugged, sniffling against her mother. "Yeah."

"So if you weren't smart, you wouldn't be doing so awesome in math, would you?"

"Guess not."

Maura brushed her fingers through Lizzie's messy curls and smiled through her tears. "You're an incredibly smart girl, my love. Having dyslexia doesn't change that."

"But Mommy," Lizzie said softly, looking up at her mother with thick tears in her eyes, "I'm _always_ gonna be bad at reading…?"

Maura sighed and Jane knew she was trying to think of a way to explain this to Lizzie. "It'll always be difficult," Maura answered quietly. "But with the right help, and the right exercises, you might get better."

"Do I have to go to a different school?"

"We're going to see how it goes at your current school first. If we find you need something different, we'll have to look for a different school."

Lizzie shook her head and her eyes widened as more tears spilled onto her cheeks. "I don't wanna go to a different school!"

"We didn't say you have to," Jane replied quickly. "Mommy just said we're gonna see how it goes. You have a very good teacher and we picked a very good school for you. You only have to change schools if it turns out they can't help you enough."

"They can help me enough." Lizzie nodded frantically, wiping her cheeks. "I don't wanna go to a different school."

Maura sighed deeply. "We just want what's best for you, my love. Right now, you'll stay right where you are."

Lizzie relaxed and rested sideways into Jane's front, still looking at Maura. "Can I still be a police when I grow up?"

Maura smiled a loving smile and cupped Lizzie's cheek, gently stroking the girl's brow with her thumb. "Oh yes, my love. You can be anything you want to be."

"Really? Even with dyx-… dys-… that thing?"

"Dyslexia. Yes. Even with that." Maura leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Lizzie's forehead before pulling back to smile at her wife. "You can be anything you want to be."

Lizzie thought about that for a while but eventually shook her head. "I can't be a doctor like you, Mommy," she said softly. "'Cause I can't read all the big, hard words."

Jane sighed but smiled at how badly Lizzie wanted to be like her mothers. But she knew Lizzie was right. Maybe she could be a doctor if she wanted to, but Lizzie didn't have an easy form of dyslexia. Medical school most likely wouldn't be in Lizzie's future.

"I know, baby," Jane whispered. "But if you try really hard and work as hard as you can, you can be anything you want to be."

Lizzie smiled a sad smile and rested her head against Jane's chest. "Do I have to read more books now?"

Maura sighed. "I don't know, honey. We're going to meet with your teacher this week to talk about how we are going to help you."

"I don't like reading books."

"I know. But hey," Jane smiled and cupped Lizzie's face, pulling away to look into light brown eyes, "today, we're going to have a fun day. Without books. Okay?"

Lizzie smiled as she nodded. "Yeah."

"You're going to be just fine, my love." Maura leaned forward and pressed her lips against Lizzie's forehead. "I promise."

Lizzie smiled. "Okay."

"Would you like some milk and cookies?"

Lizzie nodded, lifting her head from Jane's chest to wipe the last of her tears. "Yeah. Chocolate ones."

Maura smirked and shook her head as she walked towards the kitchen. "No, raisin ones."

Lizzie pouted. She slid off Jane's lap after the detective kissed the top of her head. Lizzie took a glass of milk from Maura and climbed back up on a different chair at the dinner table as she sipped her milk and Maura handed her a raisin cookie.

Jane smiled at the sight, happy to see that Lizzie wasn't too upset by the news she just received. It would kick in later, Jane knew it would. But for now, the girl was doing okay.

Jane turned her head when she heard a happy, gurgling sound coming from the baby next to her. She smiled and stood up to lean down and take Noah out of his bouncy chair to cradle him against her chest. "Hi, little man." She kissed his small head, inhaling his delicious baby scent.

She looked up and saw Maura walking towards her with a smile on her face, threading her hand in Jane's curls as she leaned down to kiss Noah. "She took it well, didn't she?" Maura whispered, resting the side of her head against Jane's as she looked at Lizzie on the other end of the table.

Jane nodded. "Better than I expected."

"I think it'll kick in later," Maura whispered while she gently massaged her wife's scalp under dark curls.

"Yeah." Jane closed her eyes and felt Noah's soft breaths against her neck as Maura's lips pressed against her temple, placing several kisses there. Jane hummed softly and smiled at the feeling of bliss that overwhelmed her. "I love you," she whispered.

Maura smiled and pulled her hand out of Jane's hair to cup her cheek and place a loving kiss on her lips. "I love you too."

"Mama, can we go play soccer today?" Lizzie asked, wiping a moustache of milk with the back of her hand.

Jane pursed her lips and adjusted Noah in her arms to grab her phone from the table. "Let me check to see if it's gonna rain."

"Uhm, Jane?" Maura pointed at the window where rain started to stream down.

Jane sighed and smiled a sad smile at Lizzie. "I'm sorry, baby."

Lizzie dropped her shoulders and pouted. Her disappointment only grew stronger when Jane's phone buzzed, the caller ID showing Vince Korsak. Jane groaned and picked up her phone. "Rizzoli."

"Jane, we need you."

"It's my day off, Korsak. C'mon."

Korsak sighed. "I know, I'm sorry. But listen,"

Jane carefully handed Noah to her wife and walked towards the hallway while she listened to her colleague.

"We found four bodies of different women, all in their mid-thirties. Throat slid, a clean cut. Tape on the mouth, coffee cup on the knees."

"Jesus," Jane hissed.

"You haven't heard the worst part."

Jane braced herself and rested the back of her head against the wall. "Surprise me."

"Both her hands were stabbed. With a scalpel."

Jane felt her throat closing up in anger and fear. Hoyt was dead. It couldn't be him. But this was his signature. Except for the stabbed hands, he only did that to Jane. She unconsciously felt a stinging pain in the scars on her hands. "Why do you need me? Why now?" she asked Korsak. "Cavanaugh will probably pull me off the case anyway."

"He asked for you."

"What? Why?"

Korsak sighed and Jane heard him pacing wherever he was. "Can you just come to the precinct? I'll explain everything here."

"No, what the hell, Korsak?" Jane felt anger burning in her stomach. "I'm about to spend a day with my kids and I'm not coming until you explain me why I'm so necessary."

"This case has been opened weeks ago. We've kept you out of it on purpose but we're stuck and I think you can give us the key in this."

Jane sighed deeply. She hated being left out of things. "Why?"

Korsak stayed silent for a few short moments before he answered. "There's no one like Jane Rizzoli."

She told him she'd be there in a while and hung up the phone, feeling annoyed and scared. She would have nightmares for weeks. And she would miss out on a day with her family, just when she needed it so badly. But she also knew this was where she was needed. She had to go.

She took a deep breath and walked back to the living room where Maura was standing up with Noah in her arms to retrieve a bottle for the boy. She looked up at her wife and her expression dropped immediately.

Jane sighed. "I'm sorry."

Maura shook her head. "It's okay. Go."

"It's… It's related to Hoyt."

Maura furrowed her brow and her expression turned to concern. "What happened?"

Jane explained it briefly and Maura sighed deeply when she finished. "God," she whispered. She moved closer to her wife, adjusted Noah in her arms and cupped Jane's cheek. "My love."

"It's okay." Jane shrugged and managed a small smile. "I'm okay."

Maura nodded. She tilted her head and kissed Jane's lips. "I'm here."

"I know." Jane pecked Maura's lips again and moved away to tell Lizzie the bad news.

Lizzie pouted and sat up on her knees, reaching up her arms for Jane to lift the girl into her arms. "I'm sorry, baby."

Lizzie shrugged, nuzzling her face into the crook of Jane's neck. "'S okay."

Jane squeezed her daughter into her arms and kissed the side of her head. "I love you, pretty girl. I love you."

"Love you too, Mama."

She put Lizzie back on the floor and stepped towards her wife and son, giving Noah a sweet kiss before kissing Maura's lips multiple times, reluctant to leave the house. She sighed and smiled a sad smile. "I'll keep you updated."

"Please."

Jane grabbed her keys and walked towards the hall to grab her coat after she yelled upstairs. "Riley!"

"Yeah?"

"I'm gonna go to work! I'll see you tonight, okay?"

"Okay, go catch them!"

"Will do. Love you!"

"Love you too, Ma!"

Jane smiled and zipped her coat before opening the front door and stepping into the cold air. She hurried towards her car and hoped she would be home in time to put her children to bed.

Unfortunately, the life of a homicide detective wasn't so kind. The day was hectic. The team was stressed and they all expected a lot form her, which she didn't like at all. She wanted a quiet weekend with her family and now she was caught up in a case that she was quickly becoming a key part of.

This killer knew her story. He or she knew details about what Hoyt did to her. How? The team didn't know. The murderer could be a former prison-mate from Hoyt. It could be a family member, an old friend, an acquaintance… There were too many possibilities. But one thing was very clear. Jane Rizzoli was involved in this case. As a target, a threat, a clue… They didn't know.

Jane rubbed her forehead and looked at her watch. She missed bedtime a long time ago. Lizzie would be sound asleep, Noah would have finished his last feeding and Riley would be falling asleep right this moment, probably. Jane sighed deeply. She loved her job, but right now she just wanted to get out of there.

"Let's go over it one more time," Frankie said, pointing at the board in the middle of the office.

"We've been over it hundreds of times, Frankie." Jane sighed. "It's not changing. Four women killed, one missing. All stabbed in their hands. All Hoyt's signature." She slumped down in her chair and looked at the awful pictures on the board. "The killer could've gotten pretty much all that information from the media, except for the hands. We never released that part."

Frankie nodded, furrowing his brown in concentration, even though this was the exact same conversation they had six times by now. "Anyone that has worked with you or seen you can know."

Jane unconsciously rubbed the hideous scars in her palms. She couldn't hide them.

"But how do they know Hoyt gave her those?" Korsak added, sitting on the edge of his desk with a cup of coffee in his hands.

"Lucky guess?"

"Seems unlikely."

Jane sighed deeply, trying to get her mind off her sleeping children that went to bed without a goodnight kiss from her. They had Maura, Jane reassured herself. They would be fine.

After a few moments of silence and frustrated pacing, Korsak's phone buzzed. "Korsak."

Jane looked at him expectantly, seeing his expression changing.

"Okay. Yes, thank you. We're on our way."

"Fifth woman?" Jane asked, feeling a hint of anger and sadness.

"We don't know. A body's been found in a dumpster not too far from here. Let's go."

Jane closed her eyes for a second. She shook her head and gathered herself together before she stood up from her chair. She had to be detective Rizzoli now.

"Jane," Frankie said, placing his hand on Jane's arm. "Are you sure you're okay? You can go home and rest."

Jane shook her head, smiling at her brother while she attached her gun to her belt. "I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." Jane nodded as she grabbed her jacket from the back of her chair. "Let's go solve this."

When she finally got home, the house was completely dark and Jane knew everyone would be sleeping. She got out of the comfortable warmth of her car and shivered when she stepped into the cold, open air.

There were five women now. All killed by this serial killer. Although the killer wasn't as mysterious as that morning, they were still far from solving the case. The new ME had found some DNA, but nothing came up in their system. All they knew was that the killer was a man.

Jane shivered, not only from the cold. She opened the front door as quietly as possible and locked it before dropping her keys on the kitchen counter and walking upstairs. She quietly opened Lizzie's bedroom door and walked towards the sleeping girl, giving her a careful kiss on top of her head.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here for bedtime, baby," Jane whispered, her words falling to deaf ears. "I'll make up for it. I promise."

She sighed and stood up, walking towards Riley's room. She opened the door even quieter, knowing Riley tended to lie awake if Jane was out working on a difficult case. Thankfully, Riley was sound asleep. Jane gently kissed her head. She whispered almost silent words of love before walking back out towards Noah's room. She gave him a quick and careful kiss and got out quickly, knowing how much fuss he would be causing if she accidentally woke him up.

She silently closed Noah's door and walked towards her own bedroom while she shrugged off her jacket. She quietly placed her gun on her nightstand before she slid off her pants and unhooked her bra, pulling it out under her T-shirt.

"Rough day?" Maura whispered suddenly.

"Jeez," Jane gasped, "you scared me."

"I'm sorry." Maura lifted her head to look at her wife.

"I didn't mean to wake you, I'm sorry."

"I wasn't sleeping." Maura lifted the covers for Jane to crawl into bed, smiling when Jane lay down facing her.

"Yeah. Rough day." Jane sighed and closed her eyes when she felt Maura's soft hand on her cheek, making gentle strokes on her sharp cheekbone.

"What did you find?"

"Another body. Killer's a man. That's pretty much it."

Maura brushed her hand through Jane's hair. "How are you?"

Jane shrugged. "Tired." She opened her eyes and looked into big, hazel eyes that seemed to be staring into her soul. No one looked at her like Maura did. No one made her feel loved, known, vulnerable and strong all at once. "I'm trying not to let it get to me," she whispered. "But it does."

Maura nodded slightly. "I know. I can see it." She leaned forward and pressed her lips against her wife's forehead. "He's gone," she whispered as she rested her forehead against Jane's. "No one is going to hurt you."

Jane tried to manage a smile, but she couldn't. Her emotions were stuck. "I'm not afraid," she whispered back. "I'm not… I'm not anything."

"I know." Maura smiled an understanding smile. "You're numb. Too tired to feel anything."

Jane nodded, feeling tears burning in her eyes. "Yeah." She closed her eyes and moved her hand to tangle her fingers together with Maura's. "Spending one day on this case takes up more energy than spending ten on any other case."

"Because it gets to you," Maura whispered.

"Yeah."

Maura sighed deeply and pressed a loving kiss to Jane's lips before whispering, "turn around."

"What? Why?" Jane furrowed her brow, not wanting to turn her back on the woman she loved so endlessly.

"So I can hold you." Maura smiled and pecked Jane's lips.

Jane felt her the love for her wife overwhelming her as she turned around, her back to the blonde as she felt Maura's arms wrapping tightly around her waist and upper body, one hand resting on Jane's stomach, the other clutching Jane's hand to her chest. She felt Maura's warm lips pressing kisses behind her ear and on her neck and she sighed contently.

"I love you, Jane," Maura whispered into Jane's ear. "It's going to be okay."

Jane's throat closed up with tears and she tried to swallow the lump that settled there. "How do you know?" she whispered, her voice raspy and barely audible. "How do you know it's going to be okay?"

"Because no matter what happens," Maura answered in a soft whisper, "Jane Rizzoli can handle it."

Jane smiled through the tears that sprung into her eyes. She pulled her wife tighter around her and brought Maura's hand up to kiss her knuckles.

"And I'm here to handle it with you," Maura continued quietly, her voice soft, loving and caring like only Maura could. "Always."

"I love you, Maur," Jane whispered as a tear fell into the pillow beneath her head. "I love you."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"Jane! Jane, wake up." Maura shook her wife's shoulder but the brunette kept panting and tossing and turning in bed. "Jane, my love. It's just a dream! Jane!"

"No!" Jane whimpered, squeezing her eyes shut. "No, no…"

She was awake. But she was too afraid to open her eyes. She was too afraid that her dream would turn out to be reality. Maura carefully placed her hand on her wife's chest. "I'm here," she whispered. "You're in bed, with me, Maura. The kids are asleep. You're okay. I'm okay. We're all safe."

Jane squeezed her eyes tighter shut as she trembled.

"Open your eyes, my love," Maura said softly. "I'm here. Look at me, please."

Maura felt her wife's rapid heartbeat and heard her uneven gasps. It broke her heart. When Jane was in pain, she was in pain. She carefully lifted her hand from Jane's chest and moved the blankets away to take Jane's hand in hers. She unclenched Jane's fist and gently placed her fingers on the scar in her wife's palm. "It's not real," she whispered. "This is real."

She took Jane's hand and placed a kiss on the back of it. "You're okay."

Finally, Jane responded. She nodded weakly. Her eyes were still shut, but her panting slowed down and turned into rapid breaths. "K-keep-… t-talking," she stuttered, her voice hoarse and laced with tears.

Maura smiled and scooted closer towards her wife, knowing that physical contact wouldn't cause a panic attack any longer. "I'm here, Jane. I'm here and I love you. I will always love you. I'm okay, and so are Riley and Lizzie and Noah. We're all okay." She placed her hand on Jane's cheek and turned her wife's head, lowering herself so she could lie next to the brunette and rest their foreheads together. "He's gone. He can't hurt you anymore. You're so strong, my love." Maura looked at Jane's closed eyes and threaded her hand in dark, messy curls. "You're so strong and so brave. You defeated him."

"I d-didn't," Jane mumbled barely audible. "He's still in m-my head. A-after all this-… this time."

"He's not." Maura moved her hand towards Jane's cheek and pulled her closer. "Look at me, Jane. Please." She sighed deeply as tears filled her eyes. "You defeated him. You can get him out of your head. Just look at me."

After a few seconds of silence, Jane finally opened her eyes. Maura met with bloodshot, tear-filled brown eyes that showed panic and fear. She smiled a loving smile through her own tears. "See?" she whispered, her voice high-pitched and laced with tears. "He's gone."

Jane blinked a few times as she looked into Maura's eyes before she broke out into a heartbreaking sob. She hid her face into Maura's chest and clutched to her for dear life.

Maura threaded her hand into Jane's hair, her other arm pulling her wife as close as possible into her arms. She kissed Jane's head. "That's it, let it out," she whispered. "I'm here. Cry. I'm here."

They stayed like that for what felt like hours. Maura holding Jane tight, Jane crying like she hadn't cried in weeks, months, maybe even years. It all just flooded over. The horrors of this case she was working on, the stress of the past few months with the new baby, finding out about Lizzie's dyslexia, Riley, the tension in their relationship… Jane kept it all on hold for too long. And now it was flooding over.

Maura was happy it was. The case had been dragging on for a week now, and it was wearing the detective out. She was emotionally exhausted. Maybe after an outburst like this, things would clear up a bit.

When Jane finally calmed down, she loosened her tight grip on her wife and wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand, still looking away from Maura. "I'm sorry," she whispered hoarsely.

"Don't be." Maura shook her head and placed her hand on Jane's chin, gently tilting her head to look into those deep brown eyes she loved so much. She closed the small space between them and captured Jane's lips in a loving kiss, tasting salty tears and sweat.

Jane responded to the kiss after a short while, her arm wrapping around Maura's waist as her other clutched Maura's hand to her chest. Their lips moved together in a familiar rhythm, their tongues finding familiar territory.

When they broke apart, silent tears trickled down Jane's cheeks as she looked into Maura's eyes. "You're okay," she whispered.

Maura nodded. "I am. And so are you."

Jane shook her head. "It's not me. It's never me." She closed her eyes and rested her forehead back against her wife's. "It's always you."

"I know." Maura gently squeezed Jane's hand. "I'm okay. I'm here."

Jane nodded and pressed her lips against her wife's. "Thank God," she whispered against Maura's lips. "I'd be so lost without you…"

"I'm here." Maura untangled her hand from Jane and cupped the brunette's face. "I'm here, my love."

Jane smiled, the first genuine smile since she woke up. "I know," she whispered quietly. She wrapped her arms around her wife, clinging desperately to the doctor. She gripped her back, one of her arms moving under Maura's silk pajama top to claw at the skin on her back, desperation showing in her movements.

Maura felt her wife's desperation and carefully untangled herself to quickly take off her shirt, leaving her topless. She did the same with Jane, pulling off her wife's T-shirt before she slid back into their original position, bare chests pressed against each other.

Jane's grip slowly lost its desperation as she relaxed into warm arms, against soft skin. There was nothing sexual in their touches. All there was was desperation and love. They needed each other.

"Sleep, Jane," Maura whispered, her hands gently rubbing along her wife's bare back. "I'm here."

It didn't take long for Jane to fall asleep. Maura held her close, keeping her safe in warm arms, protecting her from the land of nightmares that caused so much horror and fear. After a long time, when Maura was absolutely sure Jane would be asleep for the rest of the night, Maura closed her eyes and allowed herself to give in to her exhaustion.

She woke up from the feeling of a small pair of very cold feet against her leg. She opened her eyes and turned her head, smiling when she saw Lizzie crawling into the bed next to her. She looked at her alarm clock and saw that it was a little before 7AM.

"Good morning, baby," Maura whispered, careful not to wake the sleeping woman in her arms. She slowly untangled herself from Jane and turned to face Lizzie. "You're up early."

Lizzie nodded, her thumb sliding into her mouth. "My tummy's weird, Mommy."

Maura hummed and pulled the covers higher, suddenly aware of the fact that she was still topless. "Why's that? Does it hurt?"

Lizzie shook her head. "It's tingly."

Maura brushed Lizzie's hair out of her face, gently stroking the girl's cheek. "Are you nervous for school today?"

Lizzie hesitated for a while, fumbling with the sheets before she nodded. "Yeah."

Maura smiled a sad smile. She scooted closer towards her daughter to press a kiss to Lizzie's forehead. "We practiced very well, honey," Maura whispered, thinking about the amount of time they spent on the new book Lizzie got. "It's not a test today. Ms. Chapman is just going to read the book with you to see how it goes. That's all."

"But I wanna… I wanna show Ms. Chapman I can read." Lizzie looked at Maura with big, innocent eyes.

"You _can_ read, my baby." Maura stroked Lizzie's cheek with the back of her hand. "We've practiced a lot and you are doing so well!"

Lizzie sighed and averted her gaze. "But it's still so hard, Mommy."

"I know, honey," Maura whispered quietly. "I know." She wrapped her arms around the little girl and pulled her into a warm embrace.

Lizzie snuggled into Maura's arms, tired and afraid. "Mommy," she whispered.

"Yes, my love?"

"Why's you not wearing pajamas?"

Maura suddenly remembered her state of undress. "Oh, I'm sorry. I took it off last night when I comforted Mama."

"Why?" 

Maura bit her lip, realizing she may just have given too much information. She couldn't help it. She told the truth at all times. Lizzie didn't move from her mother's arms and rested comfortably in the embrace. "She had a bad dream," Maura whispered.

"Mama?"

"Yes. But she's okay now." She kissed the top of Lizzie's head. "And you are going to be fine as well, baby."

Lizzie shrugged.

"Hey," Maura smiled and cupped Lizzie's face, pulling away to look at her daughter. "I promise it's going to be okay. I promise."

Lizzie just looked at Maura.

"Have I ever broken a promise?"

"No," Lizzie whispered quietly.

"It's going to be okay, sweetheart. We are going to help you, Ms. Chapman is going to help you…" She smiled and wiped a tear that fell from Lizzie's eyes. "Mama and I went to your school a few days ago and we talked about how we're going to help you and I _promise_ you it's going to be okay."

Lizzie smiled slightly. "Okay."

"Okay." She kissed Lizzie's forehead. "How about we get dressed and go find something to eat for breakfast?"

Lizzie shrugged. "I wanna stay here."

"Oh of course you do." Maura laughed and slowly pulled Lizzie with her out of bed, careful not to wake her sleeping wife. "Go put on something warm, honey. It'll be cold today."

Lizzie agreed now that she had lost the warmth of her mother and the bed and she hopped out of the bedroom towards her own room to get dressed. Maura smiled at the sight. She shivered in the cold air and put her silk pajama top back on, grabbing it from the floor. She took a quick shower and got dressed in a long sleeved blue sweater, putting on a pencil skirt where she tuck in her shirt before quickly putting on some mascara and blush. Her hair would have to do as it was for now.

She looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand on Jane's side to see the time, and she noticed her wife's phone. She decided Jane would take this morning off. She would hate her for it, but Maura wanted what was best for her detective. She took Jane's phone with her as she walked down the hallway towards her oldest daughter.

She passed Noah's room as quietly as possible, hoping he would stay asleep for a little longer. He was so close to sleeping through the night. He wasn't there yet, but Maura knew it wouldn't take long.

"Riley?" she knocked on Riley's bedroom door. "Time to wake up, honey."

She heard a soft groan. "'Kay."

Maura smiled before she walked down the stairs to fix her children and herself something to eat for breakfast. Just when she got started on making coffee, Jane's phone buzzed. She looked at the screen and saw that it was Korsak.

"Korsak," Maura picked up the phone, "it's Maura."

"Oh, I uhm-…"

"You expected Jane." Maura smiled as she turned on the coffeemaker.

"Yes. Where is she?"

"Sleeping. She had a rough night."

Korsak hummed. "She should take a day."

"I know. She'll hate me for taking her phone."

Korsak chuckled on the other end of the line.

"Why did you call? Can I give Jane a message?"

Korsak sighed and Maura felt the mood turning serious. "We found our killer."

"Well that's good, isn't it?"

Korsak stayed silent.

"What is it?"

"He's dead."

Maura furrowed her brow. "How?"

"Strangled. And…" Korsak sighed deeply. "Stabbed with an icepick."

Maura closed her eyes. Paddy Doyle.

"Did you get a message? Anything?"

"No." Maura didn't recognize her own voice. "Not that I know of. I-…" She looked at the front door and felt her heart dropping to her stomach. She saw a white envelope on the doormat. "Hold on."

She put Jane's phone on the kitchen counter and walked towards the door, picking up the envelope from the floor. Her hands trembled when she opened it.

 _You're welcome._

Maura sighed deeply. Paddy killed the murderer. To keep Jane safe. So Jane could keep Maura safe. As much as she disapproved of her biological father, she felt a hint of relief.

She picked Jane's phone back up. "It's him," she said to Korsak. "Without a doubt."

"What did he say? Did he contact you?"

"He left a note."

Korsak took a deep breath. "He's keeping Jane safe," he stated softly. "To keep you safe."

"I had no idea she was in this much danger," Maura whispered.

"Paddy knows more than we do."

Maura closed her eyes and rested back against the kitchen counter. "I suppose he does." She sighed and rubbed her forehead. "What are you going to do?"

"Nothing, if it's up to me. Paddy Doyle is a dead end, we know that. But it's up to Cavanaugh at this point."

Maura nodded, not realizing Korsak couldn't see that. "I'll tell Jane." 

"Thank you. Keep her home today, Maura."

Maura smiled. "I'll try." She turned when Lizzie walked into the kitchen. "Thank you, Vince."

They said their goodbyes and Maura hung up the phone to start getting her kids ready for the day. Lizzie had put on the most awful combination of colors she could possibly pick in one outfit so Maura took her back upstairs to change, waking Noah in the process.

She quickly took him out of his bed to avoid waking Jane, urged Riley to get out of bed already while she took Lizzie downstairs to quickly finish her breakfast. She fed Noah, put him in his car seat and drove the girls to school.

When she came back, Jane was still sleeping. Maura smiled as she entered their bedroom, holding a contently purring baby in her arms. She sat down on the edge of the bed and gently placed her hand on Jane's cheek.

"Jane, my love."

Jane stirred and for a split second, a flash of panic crossed her face.

"Shh, it's me," Maura quickly reassured her wife. "Noah's here to say good morning."

Jane opened her eyes and smiled a sleepy smile at her wife and son. "What time is it?"

"Almost nine."

Jane furrowed her brow. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"You need to rest, Jane," Maura whispered to her wife who was starting to sit up against the headboard, reaching out her arms for their baby son. Maura handed Noah to her and pressed a kiss to Jane's temple.

Jane hummed and Maura knew she didn't like to take today off. She wanted to dig into this case, to solve it as quickly as possible.

"I spoke to Korsak," Maura said softly, tracing Noah's head with her fingers. "They found the killer."

"What?" Jane snapped her head towards Maura. "How? How come I don't know?"

"The killer is dead, Jane."

Jane's brow furrowed immediately. "What?"

"They found an icepick."

Jane closed her eyes and rested her head back against the headboard. "Paddy."

"Yes."

Jane groaned in frustration. "Why can't he just let us do our job? God!"

"He killed to keep you safe, Jane," Maura whispered, placing her hand on top of Jane's on Noah's belly.

"So I can keep you safe."

Maura nodded.

Jane looked into Maura's eyes, her dark brown eyes showing love and care. "I will."

"I know." Maura cupped Jane's cheek and placed a sweet kiss on her wife's lips.

Jane sighed and turned her attention back to the baby in her arms. "Damn, I was really hoping to close this case."

"Watch your language, please."

"What, it's not like he understands."

"It's up to Lieutenant Cavanaugh if he decides to close this case."

"He will. It'll be an open case but he'll stop the investigations. He knows it's a waste of time to go after Paddy for this."

Maura sighed, taking Noah's little hand in hers. She smiled when his small fingers wrapped around her big ones. "I know."

"I'll have to go in to meet with the team though, Maur," Jane said softly.

Maura shook her head. "No, you don't."

"I do."

"Korsak told me to make you take a day off."

Jane huffed but showed a slight smile as she looked at their baby son. "Of course he did."

Maura untangled her hand from Noah to take Jane's hand in hers, gently massaging the scar in her wife's palm.

They stayed silent for a while, staring at Noah who was slowly falling asleep, Jane staring at Maura's fingers that massaged the scar tissue on her hand. Jane sighed. "They hurt," she whispered. "They hurt but I know it's just in my head."

Maura shook her head. "The cold weather always makes them hurt."

"Not like this."

Maura sighed. She rested her chin on Jane's shoulder and snuggled into her wife's side. "They are proof of your strength," she whispered. "Of what you conquered."

Jane swallowed hard and nodded. "It's easier to tell Riley that about her scars than to believe it about my own."

"It's a good thing you have me to remind you, then." Maura kissed the side of Jane's head, smiling lovingly at her wife. "I know you find them hideous and they remind you of the horror you've endured but they're a part of you and I love them just as much as I love every single other part of you."

Jane turned her head and looked into Maura's eyes, tears welling up. She tried to speak, but Maura saw the words getting stuck in her throat. She cupped Jane's face and captured her wife's lips in a loving kiss. "Every single part, Jane."

Jane nodded. "I love you, Maur," she whispered, her voice hoarse and raspy.

Maura smiled at her wife. "I love you."

 _A/N_ _I'm so sorry I'm late, I'm trying really hard to keep up with the frequent updates but school is just crazy right now and I really need to focus. I might have to take a break this week, so no updates for a while unless I somehow find the time. Thank you all for being so kind! Please let me know what you think of this chapter. I'll be back, I promise!_


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a while, I really had to make school my priority. This isn't my best chapter, but it's an update. Let me know what you think! I can use some input._

 **Chapter 9**

Jane sat on the couch with Lizzie in her lap, the girl's back resting against her mother's front as she played a game on Maura's iPad. The game had her making the shapes of letters and turning them into words afterwards, which was a great help for Lizzie's reading. She liked it better than reading books.

"Mama," Lizzie said, holding up the iPad for Jane, "what's this word?"

Jane turned her attention to the brightly colored letters on the screen. "Difficult."

"Yeah," Lizzie nodded, "but what's the word?"

Jane chuckled. "The word is difficult. That's what it says."

"Oh." Lizzie relaxed back in Jane's arms and clicked on to the next exercise.

Jane smiled and lifted one of her arms away from around Lizzie's stomach to caress her blond curls that were tied up into a ponytail. Usually, she didn't like to stay home. She had wanted to go to work that morning, to finish that case. But in this moment, she was happy to be home. Her youngest daughter in her arms, her son being put to bed by her loving wife and her oldest daughter on her way home.

She kissed the top of Lizzie's head and pulled her close. "Good, that's good!" Jane gave her a quiet compliment when Lizzie passed a rather difficult word, causing the little elephant in the corner of the screen to blow his trunk and flap his ears. "You're doing great, baby."

Lizzie smiled, too engrossed in the game to reply. Her teacher had recommended the game, so she could practice at home. It was a lot better than reading books.

After a few more happy elephants, smiles from Lizzie and compliments from Jane, the front door opened and Riley entered the living room. She shivered in her coat and scarf.

"Hi," Jane smiled. "Cold out, isn't it?"

Riley groaned and took off her coat after putting down her backpack. "Yeah."

Jane chuckled and turned her head to see Maura coming back downstairs, wearing a loving smile on her face. "Hey, honey." She walked towards Riley and pressed her lisp against the girl's cheek. "You're freezing."

"Yeah, it's freaking cold outside and my coat's not that warm."

"Watch your language and I told you to put on your winter coat this morning." Maura shook her head.

"What'd I say?" Riley whispered at Jane.

Jane laughed but shook her head. "I'm not saying."

Riley shrugged. She seemed different. She was quiet and Jane knew something was off. It was easy to tell when something was off with her daughter. But it wasn't easy to figure out what it was.

"There's still warm tea in the pot on the counter, if you'd like," Maura said, walking towards Jane and Lizzie on the couch.

"Thanks."

"How's it going?" Maura asked softly, sitting next to her wife and youngest daughter.

"Good," Lizzie replied, "I'm on level three."

"Oh, that's great!"

Lizzie nodded proudly. "But I gots to do level one two times."

Maura hummed and placed a kiss on the side of Lizzie's head. "Still. I'm proud of you for practicing."

"The elephant's silly." Lizzie giggled when she got another answer right.

"I bet he is." Maura smiled, kissing Jane's temple. "How long has she been playing?" she whispered.

Jane looked at her watch. "Forty-five minutes, I think." She turned her head and captured Maura's lips in a quick but loving kiss. "She's not giving up."

"She's like you." Maura kissed Jane's temple and smiled when Riley took a seat next to her mothers and sister on the couch, her hands wrapped around a steaming mug of tea. Maura smiled a loving smile when Riley hooked her right arm with her mother's, relaxing against the back of the couch and into Maura's side.

Maura kissed Riley's temple. "How was school, honey?"

Riley shrugged, carefully sipping her hot tea. "Okay."

Maura furrowed her brow and Jane knew she had noticed the same. Something was bothering the teenager. "What's wrong, my love?" Maura whispered quietly.

"Nothing."

Maura tilted her head. "Riley."

Riley just shrugged and rested her head on Maura's shoulder. "I don't want to talk about it."

Jane sighed and squeezed Maura's thigh, silently telling her to let it rest for now. Maura nodded slightly.

After a few minutes of silence, Lizzie got tired of her game. "I don't wanna play anymore, Mama." She turned off the iPad and put it next to her on the small table next to the couch before turning around in Jane's lap, snuggling her front into her mother's.

Jane smiled and tightened her arms around her youngest daughter. "I'm proud of you, little cuddlebug. You're doing great."

Lizzie smiled. "Ms. Chapman said I gots to have special work for reading. Not the same as the other kids."

"Yeah," Jane answered quietly, "we talked about that with her. It's a little easier so you can learn better."

"Oh." Lizzie turned her head and smiled when Maura kissed her forehead. "Okay." She sighed deeply and sat up in Jane's lap, stretching her muscles after sitting in her mother's lap for so long. She slid off Jane's legs and scurried towards her box of toys, getting a few of them out to play with.

Jane sighed. She stood up and sat on the other side of Riley before she reached out to gently caress Riley's cheek, seeing unshed tears in her blue eyes. She didn't ask anything. She knew Riley would tell it herself if she wanted to.

After a few moments of silence, Riley took a deep breath and looked up at her mothers. "Alex has a girlfriend."

Jane sighed and wiped a few tears that fell down Riley's cheeks as she thought about the nice boy Riley had a brief relationship with until she decided to break up with him because she wasn't ready. She made a healthy, adult decision but it still broke her heart at the time.

Jane looked into Riley's eyes and saw immense insecurity. She sighed deeply, knowing how deep and hard those insecurities were. Riley was a gorgeous, smart and caring young girl but she didn't see that herself. She was so incredibly insecure and that broke her mothers' heart.

"It's a girl from his school," Riley said, wiping her cheeks. "Her name's Louise or something and she's way prettier and way smarter than me and a lot more fun than I am."

"That's just not true," Maura replied quietly but with determination.

"How do you know?"

Maura shrugged. "Nobody is prettier or more fun to be with than you are."

"You forgot smarter."

"Well, I was counting myself in this." Maura smiled and shifted closer towards her daughter.

Riley chuckled and wiped her cheeks again. "I don't even know why I'm so upset about this! I was the one that broke up with him!"

"Because you weren't ready," Jane replied softly, "not because you stopped being in love with him."

Riley nodded. "I didn't know I still liked him this much," she whispered. "I thought I was doing great with us just being friends but… Now that he has a girlfriend… I'm just mad at him or something. And he didn't even do anything wrong."

"I get it." Jane brushed Riley's hair back and smiled lovingly. "Maybe you just felt like you still had the option of getting back together. Even though you were just friends and that was going fine. You were both still available."

"Yeah." Riley nodded as fresh tears sprung to her eyes. "And now he has a girlfriend and I'm just… Riley."

"I don't think you'll ever be just Riley to him, honey." Maura brushed her fingers through Riley's hair. "You'll never be just Riley."

"I don't know, Mom. He has a girlfriend. That's the most important thing now, right?"

"It doesn't have to be. Friends are just as important."

"He's a fifteen-year old guy." Riley tilted her head.

"He's not just some regular guy," Maura protested. "He's kind, polite and sweet. He cares about you, honey. I know he does."

"Maybe." Riley shrugged and sniffled as she wiped her tears with the sleeve of her sweater.

"Come here, my love," Maura whispered, opening her arms for the crying teenager. She enveloped her daughter in a tight hug. "Don't ever think that you're not special," she said quietly into Riley's hair, gently rubbing the girl's back. "Don't ever think that you're anything but outstanding, sweet, caring and beautiful." She kissed the side of Riley's head and sighed. "God you're so beautiful, my baby."

Riley smiled a shy smile. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Riley took a deep, shaky breath. "Maybe I made a mistake breaking up with him," she whispered. "And now I'm too late."

"You weren't ready. You made a very adult decision, my love."

Riley pulled back and looked down at her feet, Maura's arms still wrapped around her upper body. "I think I'm still kind of in love with him," she whispered quietly. "But I don't know how to stop."

Jane gently rubbed Riley's back after she heard a heartbreaking sob. "You can't stop yourself from falling in love. You can only wait until it passes." 

Riley sniffled. "How long does that take?"

"I wish I knew."

Riley groaned and wiped her cheeks. "I don't even _want_ to cry about this!" She shook her head and lifted herself from her mother's chest. "I want to be over him."

"I know, baby." Jane tucked a strand of hair behind Riley's ear and stroked her cheek with the back of her hand. "You will. It just takes time."

Riley nodded, resting against the back of the couch. "Yeah."

Lizzie grabbed one of her toys and walked up to her older sister. "I think you just gotta marry Sarah, Riley."

Riley chuckled and wiped the last of her tears. "Nah."

"Boys are stupid."

"That's true, but I'm not into girls like that."

"Like what?" Lizzie tilted her head and furrowed her brow.

"Like… falling in love. Like Ma and Mom are."

"Oh." Lizzie's expression dropped and she let her hands fall to her side. "That's too bad."

Riley giggled as she nodded. "Yeah, also true."

Lizzie shrugged and climbed back up on Jane's lap. She shifted sideways into her mother's front to look at Riley. "Alex's bad for making you cry, Riley," she said softly.

Riley smiled through the tears in her eyes. "He's not bad," she whispered.

"He makes you cry!"

"He just has a new girlfriend, that's all. He didn't do anything wrong."

Lizzie tilted her chin and gave her sister her best cocky look, eliciting a chuckle from both her mothers. "I think he did. 'Cause he mades you cry."

" _Made_ , honey." Maura laughed and reached over Riley's lap to caress Lizzie's cheek until a strangled cry came from upstairs. "Would you like to help me get Noah out of bed?"

"Nope." Lizzie shook her head and slid off Jane's lap, hopping towards her toys.

Maura sighed, shaking her head while she kissed Riley's temple with a sweet smile. "Alright, I'll do it myself."

Jane chuckled and grabbed the iPad back from the table, wanting to catch up on a few reports she had to read. Riley tucked her feet up on the couch and leaned into Jane's side while she played a game on her phone, sniffling slightly as the last of her tears disappeared.

After a few minutes of blissful silence, Jane heard quick footsteps hurrying downstairs. When she looked up, she saw Maura practically running towards her, tears streaming down her face, the happiest smile in the world curling her lips as she held their baby son to her chest.

"What's going on?"

Maura just shook her head and Riley scooted over so she could sit down next to Jane, adjusting Noah to look at them. Jane smiled at him and traced his pink cheek with her finger. "Hey, buddy," she whispered, "how'd you get Mommy all in tears, huh?"

"He smiled, Jane," Maura said softly, her voice laced with happy tears. "It was so beautiful." She removed one of her hands from under Noah's back to tickle his belly, smiling a wide smile at him. "So beautiful."

Jane felt her heart skipping a beat when she saw their son smiling up at his mothers. A real, tiny person smile that made his beautiful eyes sparkle and showed a gorgeous, toothless grin. "Oh my goodness, Noah," Jane felt her throat closing up with tears as she smiled at her beautiful baby. "Look at you!"

"What's he doing?" Lizzie came running towards them, wanting to know what all the fuss was about.

"He smiled, honey," Maura replied to her.

Jane couldn't take her eyes off Noah's smile and she reached out for Lizzie without looking, pulling the girl in between her legs. "Why's he smiling?" Lizzie asked, her brow furrowed in confusion. "What's funny?"

Maura chuckled and tickled Noah's belly again, wanting to get more smiles out of him. "We are."

Lizzie giggled and sucked her thumb into her mouth as she relaxed into Jane's arms. Jane squeezed her little girl close in her arms, kissing the top of her head as she marveled at Noah's beautiful smile.

"His smile's so cute," Riley said with a smile, resting her cheek against Maura's upper arm to look at her baby brother.

"It is," Maura beamed at Noah, absolutely radiating with happiness. Jane couldn't look away from her wife, loving the wrinkles that formed around her eyes when she smiled, the way those dimples showed in her freckled cheeks and her hazel eyes sparkled.

She leaned in to press her lips against Maura's temple, inhaling her lovely perfume and unique scent. "I love you, Maur," she whispered into blond curls.

Maura looked away from Noah and smiled at her wife. "I love you too, Jane." She looked back at Noah and smiled, even though his adorable smile was disappearing. She adjusted her arms so she could wrap one of them around Riley's shoulders, kissing the side of daughter's head.

Jane sighed and briefly closed her eyes, pulling Lizzie close in her arms. Things were close to perfect.


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N Guys, I'm going to be honest and tell you that I'm losing my touch with this story. I'm not satisfied with the things I write, things are moving too slowly in my opinion and I'm having trouble coming up with new storylines. I think this story needs a little jump in time. Whatever happens, I'm not done with this story. I'm just a little stuck._

 _Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your kind reviews, even though this story isn't getting any better. Ideas for storylines are welcome, anything to inspire me to become a better writer because I kinda suck right now. ; ) Thank you all!_

 **Chapter 10**

Maura was lying in bed, her arm covering her eyes as an awful headache seemed to be splitting her head apart. It had been a while since it was this bad, and that only made it worse. Any form of light hurt her eyes and made the headache worse and she could barely get out of bed. It started that morning, and it was currently a little past dinner time, probably. She hadn't been able to get any food down her throat except for a small bowl of chicken soup and she felt absolutely awful. Angela had taken Noah today, and she picked up Lizzie from school until Jane came home.

"Mommy?" A soft, shy voice called out to her and Maura just hummed.

She felt a small body crawling into bed next to her, messy curls tickling her cheek as Lizzie settled in bed next to her mother. Maura groaned slightly and instinctively wrapped one of her arms around the little girl, pulling Lizzie's head to her chest. "What's wrong, baby?" she whispered, every sound hurting her head.

"Nothing."

Maura hummed and opened her eyes, squinting in the darkness of the room to look at her daughter. She had streaks of leftover tears on her cheeks and was fumbling with the sheets. Maura caressed Lizzie's cheek. "Where's Mama?"

"Working on the laptop, and she's gotta help Riley with what she's got to write."

"I see." Maura furrowed her brow, the headache beating behind her eyes. She had absolutely no energy to find out what was bothering her daughter, but she knew she had to. "How was school?"

Lizzie shrugged.

"Baby…"

She sighed deeply. "School was stupid."

"Why's that?"

"Chase says I'm dumb," Lizzie whispered, her voice suddenly thick with tears. "'Cause he says I can't read."

"Oh, honey." Maura felt tears burning in her eyes, which only increased her headache. She pulled Lizzie closer into her arms and kissed the top of her head. "That's not a nice thing to say." 

Lizzie shook her head, sniffling as tears fell on Maura's sweater. "No."

"It's not true, my love," Maura whispered. "You can read. And you're a very smart girl, remember?"

Lizzie nodded. "He was mean to me all day."

"What happened?"

"He tripped me at recess. And he called me names and he cheated with the game." Lizzie sighed and snuggled closer into her mother's arms.

"What did you do? Did you tell Ms. Chapman?"

Lizzie shook her head. "No. I played with the other kids."

"Good. That's a very smart thing to do. Just ignore him. He'll get tired of teasing you eventually." Maura threaded her hand in Lizzie's curls, pulling the girl to her chest. "And if he does it again, you can tell Ms. Chapman, okay?"

Lizzie nodded, fresh tears falling down her cheeks. "Okay."

"I love you, baby girl," Maura whispered, closing her eyes again.

Lizzie's short arm wrapped around her mother's waist as the girl nuzzled her cold nose into Maura's neck. "Love you too, Mommy." She sniffled slightly as she wiped her tears with the back of her hand. "Are you sick, Mommy?"

"Yes. But it won't last long."

"Do I gotta go?"

Maura smiled a tired smile. "No, baby. Just be still so you don't hurt Mommy's head, okay?"

Lizzie nodded. She untangled herself from Maura, lifted her head and kissed the top of her mother's forehead. "Do kisses make it better?"

Maura smiled, pulling Lizzie back in her arms. "Yes, baby."

Lizzie grinned proudly before carefully snuggling into warm arms as Maura felt her daughter relaxing against her. It was about bedtime for the girl, but Maura was too tired and in too much discomfort to do anything about it. Falling asleep in her mother's bed without brushing teeth or changing into pajamas wouldn't be so bad for just once.

Lizzie kept silently crying for a long time, which worried Maura. Lizzie's dyslexia was quickly becoming a huge insecurity and she had more and more trouble seeing that she was in fact a very bright girl. Maura fell asleep with a hint of worry burning in her stomach and her head pounding.

When she woke up, she was surprised to see that she slept through the night. Her head was feeling slightly better, but still sore, like it always was after a day like yesterday. She looked over Lizzie's head to her wife and smiled when she saw Jane holding Noah as she was feeding him.

"You're hungry, aren't you, buddy?" Jane whispered with a loving smile. "We just gotta be quiet for Mommy, okay?"

Maura smiled to herself and closed her eyes again, not wanting to announce that she was awake yet. She hid her face into Lizzie's curls and listened to Jane's sweet whispers.

"Mommy's got a headache again, buddy," Jane whispered quietly. "You have no idea how much I hate it when she has one like that." Jane sighed deeply. "And I have no idea how your sister got into our bed but she's sleeping too peacefully to ask."

Maura carefully looked through her eyelashes to see Noah's small hand caressing the bottle that he was sucking on, looking up at his mother with his big, beautiful eyes. Jane was smiling that special smile she reserved for her children, a smile that caused Maura to fall for the detective over and over again.

"Do you even know how lucky you are, Noah?" Jane whispered, barely audible. "You're so lucky to have a mommy like her, baby. She's the best in the whole wide world. But you'll figure that out when you're old enough. Just enjoy her kisses once you're still a baby." Jane pulled the bottle away to let Noah breathe and leaned forward to place a kiss on his forehead. "You're a lucky kid, buddy. We love you so much, it's crazy. You just started being able to hold your head up and all you do is smile, eat, cry and poop and we love you so much."

Maura felt tears burning in her eyes and quickly closed them, not wanting to alert Jane and pull her out of her thoughts.

"The other day, I found you and your mommy in the bathtub and she was just crying 'cause your smile made you so happy, y'know?" Jane chuckled quietly. "She's crying about a lot lately, though. I guess she's taking on some kind of pregnancy hormones from a non-existing pregnancy or something. And if she were awake, she would immediately lecture me about that."

"I won't," Maura whispered, smiling up at her wife.

Jane, startled, snapped her attention towards Maura and blushed a dark shade of red. "Jesus."

Maura carefully untangled herself from Lizzie and leaned over the sleeping girl to press a sweet kiss to Jane's lips. "I love you, Jane." 

"I love you too." Jane shook her head and looked back at Noah who was about to finish his bottle. "Although I kind of hate that you always catch me in my mushy moments."

Maura chuckled. "They just make me love you more."

"Yeah, yeah." 

"I won't say a word to anyone." Maura laughed and slowly slid out of bed, shivering as she lost the warmth of her daughter and the blankets.

"Wait," Jane stopped her. "How's your head? And why's Lizzie here?" 

"My head is still sore, but a lot better. Lizzie was upset about an incident at school," Maura whispered. "Someone teased her with her dyslexia."

"Well that's a stupid thing to tease about." 

Maura hummed. "She was quite upset. If it happens again, I think we should meet with her teacher." She grabbed her robe and put it on, tying it around her waist. "I think she had a good sleep, though."

Jane nodded. "Okay." She sighed and carefully caressed Lizzie's curls.

Maura smiled and walked around the bed to cup Jane's cheek and press her lips against her wife's forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Maura kissed Noah's head and quickly headed towards the bathroom to relieve her bladder before walking down the hallway, seeing Riley walking into her bedroom. "Good morning, love."

Riley turned and showed a tired smile. "Morning. Is your headache gone?"

Maura nodded and stepped towards her oldest daughter to kiss her forehead. "Pretty much, yes. Are you excited for your soccer game?"

"Yeah. I think we have a pretty good chance."

Maura hummed. "I think so too." She smiled and smoothed Riley's messy hair. "Oh, I bought you a new sports bra because that blue one was getting too old. Let me get it for you."

"Okay."

Maura grabbed the small bra and headed back to Riley's bedroom to hand it to the teenager. Riley took it and smiled a sad smile, causing Maura to worry. "What's wrong?"

Riley shrugged, fumbling with the bra. "You know I don't need this, Mom," she said softly.

Maura sighed deeply, not knowing how to answer.

"Mom…"

Maura looked into blue eyes that showed insecurity and fear. She slowly reached out to stroke Riley's cheek with the back of her hand.

"I'm gonna be sixteen in a few months," she said softly, tears forming in her eyes.

Maura nodded. "Yes, you are."

"How… How is that even possible?" Tears started trickling down Riley's cheeks as she shook her head. "Look at me! I'm not sixteen!"

Maura placed her hands on Riley's upper arms to try and calm her down. "You're not, baby. You're fifteen."

"Only for a few more months."

"Yes, months. First, there's Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year's…"

"Mom!" Riley tilted her head and lifted her hands. "That's not the point and you know it!"

"Okay, please be quiet so you don't wake your sister."

Riley groaned and turned around, walking into her bathroom without closing the door. She leaned her hands on top of her sink and lowered her head. Maura swallowed her tears at the sight. Riley was right. If Maura had to estimate her age by just looking at her, she wouldn't think she was older than twelve, maybe thirteen. Maura closed her eyes and tried to hold back her tears. When she opened them, she saw Riley pulling her pajama shirt over her head to try the bra on. It was too big.

Maura swallowed and walked into the bathroom, standing next to her daughter. She brushed Riley's hair behind her ear before trying to adjust the bra, but it was no use. "Did you put it on the tightest clasp?" she asked softly.

Riley just nodded.

Maura sighed and tightened the bra with her hands, looking at Riley's barely developed chest. "I'll take it back," she said. "I still have the receipt in my purse." She took the bra off and grabbed Riley's shirt to pull it over her head.

Riley nodded, silent tears trickling down her cheeks. "Why am I so different, Mom?"

Maura shook her head, wrapping her arms around Riley's skinny body to pull the girl towards her and kiss the top of her head. "I don't know, my love."

"I c-can't be sixteen," Riley hiccupped and hid her face into Maura's chest.

"Honey, you've had a very poor diet for almost ten years of your life. That, combined with stress… It causes grow deprivation."

"Like this?" Riley asked, her voice weak and vulnerable. "This bad?"

Maura sighed deeply. Her answer would be no. It shouldn't be like this. "You are perfect just the way you are, love," Maura whispered.

"Mom, do you think there's something wrong?" Riley's skinny arms wrapped around Maura's waist. "Like, something serious?"

"No, my love. You are just a little underweight, but we already knew that. And we're working on that." Maura stroked Riley's hair, placing her hand on the back of the girl's head. "When was your last period?"

Riley shrugged. "A long time ago."

"Could you keep notes of them for me, maybe?" Maura asked quietly. "Just… Put a little mark in your phone maybe? So we can keep track?"

"Okay."

Maura pulled away and cupped Riley's face with both her hands, looking deeply into blue eyes. "You're perfect, my love," she whispered through her tears. "Just the way you are."

Riley shook her head and was about to protest until Maura stopped her. "Yes. Yes, you are." She wrapped her daughter back in her arms and kissed the side of her head.

Riley let out a quiet sob and clung to her mother, holding her in an almost desperate grip. "It just makes me so insecure," she mumbled in between sobs.

"I know, my love." Maura's hand on the back of Riley's head pulled her closer. "I know."

"I hate my body." Riley clutched Maura's robe on her back. "I hate it so much!"

Maura felt tears streaming down her face as she pulled her daughter closer. "You're so beautiful, honey," Maura whispered. "So beautiful." She sighed deeply, her breath shaking with her tears. "I know I can tell you then a thousand times and you might never believe it but… to me, you're the most beautiful girl in the world."

Riley shook her head.

"I know, baby." Maura kissed the side of Riley's head. "I know."

"Shouldn't there be some… some kind of pills for that or something?" Riley mumbled.

Maura chuckled. "No. Yes, but there's no way you are getting them."

"You're a doctor!"

"Yes, and that is why I can make you very clear there is no way you are pumping hormones into your body." Maura pulled back and wiped her daughter's cheek with the back of her hand. "Just let your body develop on its own. It might be a little slow, but it's healthy and strong and beautiful."

Riley nodded weakly. She turned sideways in Maura's arms and rested her head against her mother's chest, snuggling into the warmth and love of her mother. She lifted her hand and wiped her cheeks, wrapping it weakly around Maura's neck afterwards.

Maura rested her cheek against Riley's forehead as she placed her hand on the girl's still wet cheek. "Just cry it out," she whispered quietly. "I'm here."

Maura's thoughts were racing through her mind. Something was not right. She had to talk to Jane. But first, her place was here. Her daughter's tears needed to be caught, her shaking body needed to be held and her insecurities needed to be put at ease. Everything else would come later.


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N As I said, I was a little stuck so I decided to throw something big, stupid and maybe unrealistic in here. It's fanfic, after all. ; ) Thank you for sticking with me throughout these series, I'm sorry for the lack of updates lately! School is crazy. But fun. Thank you all!_

 **Chapter 11**

"Riley," Jane patted the spot next to her on the couch, "can you come sit for a minute?"

Riley nodded, putting her book away to stand up from lying on the floor in front of the fireplace and sit in between her mothers. "What's up?"

Maura sighed. "Your Ma and I have something to tell you."

Jane closed her eyes, preparing herself to tell her daughter the possibly world-shattering news on the evening before her birthday. She thought about how it all started, feeling the knot in her stomach tightening.

" _Jane, I'm worried."_

" _I know, but it's a little far-fetched, Maur."_

" _Jane!" Maura balled her fists next to her sides. "If she were a victim in one of our cases and all the information I had was her body, I'd say she's no older than twelve years old!"_

 _Jane sighed and closed her eyes, sitting down on the edge of their bed as her wife paced through the room. "Maura…"_

" _She hasn't had her period in months, her breasts are just starting to develop and I'm not even talking about all the places she should be growing hair!" Maura shook her head as she rambled, tears trickling down her cheeks. "All I'm asking of you is to look into it."_

" _It takes a lot to falsify a birth-certificate, Maura," Jane said softly, carefully._

 _Maura nodded. "I know that."_

" _I'm just saying-…"_

" _I know! I know what you are saying!" Maura yelled at her wife, tears streaming down her face. "Don't do this, Jane!"_

" _Do what?" Maura's anger startled Jane. She knew about her wife's concerns about Riley but they hadn't talked about it in a long time. She knew that Riley started keeping track of her periods a while ago, but that was it. She had no idea of the depth of all this._

" _Act like I'm stupid!" Maura frantically wiped her cheeks. "I know my daughter, Jane. She's-…" Maura choked on her tears and shook her head. "She's just a little girl."_

 _Jane stood up from the bed and pulled Maura into her arms without a second thought. She felt Maura's arms clinging tightly to her, her wife's head resting in the crook of her neck where her tears started wetting the fancy blouse she put on for Thanksgiving dinner. "Why now?" Jane whispered. "What happened?"_

 _Maura sighed deeply. "Didn't you see her tonight?" she whispered through her tears. "She played with TJ all afternoon and after dinner she came to me to snuggle because she was tired. She… She barely fits into the dress we bought together, she-…." Maura lifted her head and looked at Jane with shimmering eyes. "She's just a little girl."_

 _In those familiar hazel eyes, Jane saw a kind of concern that broke her heart. She saw a kind of love that was so endless, so deep and so whole. Riley was Maura's weak spot. Her everything. Jane knew she had to do this. Even if people would be laughing at her for putting energy into a dead end and a hopeless case. She had to do this for Maura._

" _I'll do everything I can," Jane whispered. "I'm going to try."_

 _Maura nodded, smiling a grateful smile. "That's all I'm asking."_

 _Jane pulled her wife back into her arms and pressed her lips against Maura's temple. "I love you, Maura. Just please don't even mention one of our children as a victim in our case again, okay?"_

 _Maura chuckled. "I'm sorry. I love you too." Maura cried silently as she wrapped her arms around Jane's neck. "I'm sorry for ending Thanksgiving like this."_

 _Jane shook her head. "That's okay. It's still a great Thanksgiving."_

 _Maura nodded, showing a slight smile. "Noah's first one."_

" _Well he did love the mashed vegetables you made for him."_

 _Maura chuckled, threading her hands in Jane's curls. "Of course he did."_

 _Jane pulled back and cupped Maura's cheek with her right hand to press her lips against her wife's, kissing her with love and passion. Their lips pressed together in a wet, heated kiss that tasted like salty tears and wine. When they broke apart, Jane rested her forehead against Maura's and smiled as she looked into shimmering hazel eyes. "I love you," she whispered. "I'm so lucky to have you in my life."_

 _Maura lightly shook her head and gave her wife a passionate kiss before looking deeply into her eyes. "I think I'm the lucky one," she answered quietly._

 _Jane felt butterflies dancing in her stomach as she kissed her wife again. This beautiful woman never failed to make her head spin and turn her world upside down. When they broke apart, Maura was panting and smiled against Jane's lips. "Can we please start making love now?"_

 _Jane chuckled and pulled her wife towards the bed on top of her. "Yes, please."_

She pulled herself out of her thoughts and shook her head. She had kept her promise and started the process a few days later.

 _Jane contacted someone inside BPD named Jake. He specialized in falsified documents. "This is her birth certificate, the one we got when we adopted her," Jane said as she handed Jake the file. "It looks alright to me, but I'm not sure."_

 _Jake nodded. He was young and motivated, perfect for this case. "So, she's fifteen according to this."_

" _Yeah, will be sixteen a few months."_

 _He pursed his lips and squinted his eyes as he studied the file. "And what exactly are your suspicions again?"_

 _Jane sighed deeply, shifting in her chair next to Jake. "Her biological father was a huge drug addict," she swallowed hard, having trouble telling this awful story, "he used Riley to get his stuff. He would have benefited from her being older than she really is, to get around in his world, y'know?"_

 _Jake nodded. "Okay, yeah."_

" _So we… Or, mostly my wife… We think he might've falsified her birth certificate when she was about five, six or maybe seven, too young to understand what's happening."_

 _"So, he must've added how many years?"_

" _Two, three… I'm not sure."_

" _Adding three years to a five-year old?" Jake slightly tilted his head, still looking at the file on his desk. "I don't know, Rizzoli…"_

" _I know it's far-fetched. I just… I just need to make sure, okay? We both know it's possible."_

 _Jake sighed deeply. "Alright, I'll look into it. Just know that I'm only doing this because I'm new and you're_ the _detective Rizzoli."_

 _Jane chuckled, shaking her head when she stood up from her chair. "Thanks."_

It took him months, but he found it. He found the thing they were all afraid of. Riley's birth certificate was falsified. She wasn't about to turn sixteen. It was difficult to find, but they were absolutely sure. Riley's father had someone falsify the document. It must have cost him a lot of money and a lot of trouble, but he managed.

Jane and Maura had known for a few days, but they needed time to adjust to the idea and come up with a way to tell Riley. They had no idea how the girl would respond to it and Jane was a little bit afraid.

"Okay," she sighed and smiled a hopefully reassuring smile at her daughter, "we uhm… someone has taken a look at your birth certificate, to check if it's valid and all that. And…" Jane studied her daughter's face but she just saw confusion and expectation in Riley's blue eyes. "We discovered that your real year of birth is not the same as the year on your birth certificate."

Riley didn't reply. She just looked at her mother with a blank expression.

"In a few hours," Maura said softly, looking at her watch, "you'll be turning thirteen."

Riley's eyes slowly went wide, and then narrowed again. She opened her mouth and closed it again. She looked at her mother and then looked away into the fireplace. A small sound came out of her mouth, but it didn't come to any words.

"H-how?" she whispered, her voice raw and soft.

"He added a little over two years to your age when you were almost four years old, we believe it's because he could send you to school. He had someone change your year of birth."

Riley stayed silent for what felt like hours, staring at the wall with her mouth hanging open, her expression still blank. Suddenly, she stood up and threaded her hands into her hair, pulling hard. "So… So…" she shook her head as tears formed in her eyes. "Who the hell am I then?!"

"You're still the same person you always have been, honey," Maura said softly. "Just a little younger than we thought."

"What if he changed more?" Riley yelled, still pulling her hair as she turned around and started pacing through the living room. "How do I even know it's my birthday tomorrow? How do I know he didn't change my name, or… or…" Riley choked on her tears and bent over, her arms wrapping around her own waist. "He… He…" She straightened her back, tears streaming down her face as she balled her fists. "He ruined EVERYTHING! Everything is a lie-… HOW COULD HE DO THAT?!" she yelled, looking at them with fire in her blue eyes. "He took everything away from me!"

Jane felt her own tears wetting her cheeks as she watched her daughter sobbing uncontrollably. "Baby…"

"NO! I HATE HIM!" Riley yelled, turning to face the wall, her fists pounding against the rough stone.

"Baby, stop." Jane stood up and placed her hands on Riley's shoulders, but the girl was too far gone. She was pounding, crying uncontrollably. "Honey."

Riley shook her head and shrugged away from Jane's touch. "What else did he do?" she asked, her voice a little quieter. "How do I even know who I am anymore?"

"You're exactly the same, my love," Maura said softly, standing up to step towards her daughter. "You're the same amazing, beautiful, smart and talented girl you have always been."

Riley shook her head and started pulling her hair again, beginning to get lost in a panic attack. She almost sunk to her knees but Jane caught her, pulling the girl up under her arms, carrying her daughter in her embrace. Riley's arms clung around Jane's neck as she sobbed into Jane's shoulder, her legs wrapping around her mother as Jane hugged her like a little girl.

"That's it, baby," Jane whispered, "let it out. I'm here."

Riley's fingers clutched Jane's sweater on her back. "Ma-Mama."

"I'm here," Jane adjusted her grip on her daughter, feeling her muscles straining with Riley's weight. "I'm here."

She felt Maura's hand on her arm and followed her wife toward the couch, taking Riley in her lap as she sat down. Riley curled up into her mother, her sobs slowly fading into silent cries. "I-I'm only t-thirteen," she whispered.

"Yes, you are." Maura smiled and cupped Riley's cheek, wiping her tears with her thumb.

"I'm not sixteen tomorrow."

Maura shook her head. "No."

"B-but, how do you know my birthday is right? Or my name, or…"

Jane wiped the fresh tears that started falling down her daughter's cheeks. "We don't," she whispered. "But… He had no reason to change your name. And… Your birthday…" Jane sighed deeply. They had no idea. "We're just celebrating it tomorrow."

"But my birthday is just a lie."

"No, my love." Maura brushed Riley's hair back. "It's a way to celebrate your life and that you are another year older."

"But what if it's not my birthday at all? What if I was born on a different day?" Riley shook her head and rubbed her eyes. "What if everything is a lie?"

"It's not." Jane looked at Riley's head that was resting on her chest. "We know the year you were born. We know you turn thirteen this year. We know you are Riley Rizzoli-Isles and we know we love you more than anything in the world."

"I feel so weird," Riley whispered, looking down at the floor. "What's gonna happen?"

"Nothing. You're the same Riley you always were. Just a little younger, that's all."

"But… But I… Why did he do it, Ma?"

Jane sighed. "We can only guess. To send you to school, probably. So he could get rid of you. And later, so he could send you out to get him drugs."

Riley nodded. "He wanted to get rid of me," she whispered.

Jane sighed deeply and looked at Maura, seeing tears falling down freckled cheeks. "Yeah."

"Why didn't he want me, Ma?" Riley whispered, her voice thick with tears. "Why did he only want me for drugs? What did I do wrong?"

Jane felt tears in her eyes and pulled her daughter closer. "Nothing, baby. Nothing. It has nothing to do with you. It's him."

"He went through all that trouble just to get rid of me."

"Because he's an ass."

"Jane." Maura tilted her head and stroked Riley's cheek with the back of her hand. "It's not your fault, my love. It's not you."

Riley looked down at the floor, lost in thought again. After a while, Maura quietly broke the silence. "Honey, do you realize what this means?"

"No," Riley whispered, looking into Maura's eyes.

"This means you are thirteen, and in your second year of high school." Maura smiled through her tears, still wiping Riley's cheek with her thumb. "You are in your _second_ year of high school, and passing all of your classes. At thirteen." She shook her head as a tear fell down her cheek. "Thirteen!"

Riley just looked at her mother, her eyes shimmering with fresh tears.

"That's absolutely amazing, Riley," Jane whispered, rubbing Riley's back as she kissed the top of her head. "You are absolutely amazing."

"You… You play the piano, you play soccer in a team that is two years older than you, you are so strong and so…" Maura shook her head, getting lost in her words and tears. "Oh Riley, you're only thirteen!"

Riley nodded slowly. "I don't have to learn how to drive," she whispered. "I don't have to be in college in two years. My body is totally normal."

Maura nodded her head, fresh tears trickling down her cheeks. "You're only thirteen."

"And…" Riley lifted her head and looked at Maura. "And I'm in high school."

Riley smiled, her smile causing Maura to break out into tears. She leaned forward and pulled Riley into her arms, her hand on the back of her daughter's head as she pulled her close. She looked over Riley's shoulder into Jane's eyes and smiled through her tears. "I've never seen her smile like this before," she whispered. "I've never seen her like this."

Jane smiled and wiped a tear with the back of her hand. "Like what?"

"Proud."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

"Good morning, birthday girl." Maura smiled a bright smile as she walked into Riley's bedroom, holding a tray with breakfast for the girl.

Riley sat up and smiled a sleepy smile. "Morning."

Maura put the tray on Riley's nightstand and sat down on the edge of the bed, cupping Riley's face to kiss her forehead. "Happy birthday, my love." She smoothed Riley's messy hair and looked into bright blue eyes that showed exhaustion and happiness. She was emotionally drained, but at the same time Maura felt like a huge weight had been lifted off Riley's shoulders. The pressure was gone. She was only thirteen. Her body was totally normal. Still quite skinny and a little short for her age, but totally normal for a thirteen-year old. "How are you feeling?"

Riley shrugged. "Tired. My head hurts a little."

Maura hummed and caressed Riley's pale cheek with the back of her hand. "You should drink something."

"Mom?"

"Hm?"

"I… How am I supposed to feel?"

Maura sighed. "I don't know, baby."

"I think I'm… Relieved?" Riley furrowed her brow and fumbled with her sheets. "But I don't know, I'm also mad."

Maura nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind Riley's ear. "It's not easy."

"No," Riley whispered, her eyes suddenly shimmering with tears.

"Oh, I didn't mean to make you cry." Maura wrapped her arms around her daughter and pulled the girl into a warm embrace. "My beautiful girl," she whispered. "It's all so overwhelming, isn't it?"

Riley nodded, snuggling closer into her mother's arms. "Mom?"

"Yes, love?"

"Would… Would you have adopted me if you knew how old I really was?"

Maura smiled and pulled her daughter impossibly closer. "Nothing could make us not want you, Riley. Nothing." She pulled back and looked into teary blue eyes. "We love you for who you are, honey. I don't care how old you are." She wiped Riley's tears with her thumbs and smiled at her. "We love you because of you. We just wanted to give a home to someone who needed it. You needed it. We fell in love with you. That's it."

Riley smiled a shy smile through her tears, averting her gaze to her hands in her lap.

"And now that we know your real age…" Maura shook her head and smiled. "Honey, it just means we have more time with you."

"Yeah…" Riley nodded slowly. "Is it stupid that I'm relieved?"

Maura shook her head. "No, sweetheart."

"I was really scared about that," Riley whispered, blushing slightly. "Going to college in two years…" Suddenly her eyes went wide and she snapped her head up. "Wait, if I continue like this… I'll still be in college in two years! Right?"

"Oh baby, let's just handle that when we get there, okay?" Maura stroked Riley's cheek to try and calm her down. "You can always take a year off to work, do that music program we talked about… There are a lot of opportunities." Maura smiled as she met with expecting, childlike blue eyes. "You don't have to go anywhere, my love. You can stay with us as long as you want. You can take all the time you need."

Riley nodded and weakly wrapped her arms around Maura's waist, reveling in her mother's warmth. "I don't feel so stupid anymore," Riley whispered, her voice hesitant and weak, "I don't feel so pathetic for needing you and Ma anymore."

Maura smiled and pressed her lips against the side of her daughter's head. "You never were stupid or pathetic, love," she whispered. "You've been traumatized. You've been through hell and you fought your way back." Maura placed her hand on the back of Riley's head to keep her close. "You have no idea how proud I am of you, my love."

Riley lowered her head against Maura's chest and smiled slightly. Maura cupped her daughter's face to kiss her cheek. "Come on birthday girl, eat your breakfast so we can give you your presents. Lizzie has been excited for weeks." 

Riley chuckled and wiped the last of her tears. "Really?"

"Oh, yes. I'm surprised she hasn't barged in yet."

Riley smiled, her sadness slowly fading. Maura grabbed the cup of tea from the nightstand and handed it to her daughter. "Drink."

"Yes, ma'am." Riley smirked and sipped her tea as she relaxed back against the headboard of her bed.

Maura chuckled and shook her head as she stood up from the bed. "I love you, baby girl."

"Love you too," Riley mumbled into her tea with a smirk.

"Do you want your presents in bed or downstairs?"

"Oh can we do it here?" Riley looked up at her mother and Maura smiled at the childlike innocence she saw in those big blue eyes. It was a part of Riley that she had tried to hide for so long, trying to conform to her age. But now she was turning into the girl she really was and Maura only loved her more.

"Of course. Let me get the rest of the family."

An hour later, the small family was all sitting on Riley's bed, the ground covered in wrapping paper, three happy children and two happy mothers smiling. Noah was bouncing happily as he sat in Maura's lap, his small hands wiggling to try and grab the spoon with mashed fruit Maura was feeding him. "Oh, you do love banana, don't you?" Maura chuckled as the little boy sucked on the spoon. "We're almost finished, baby. I'm sorry."

"I want a banana too, Mommy!" Lizzie called out from the other end of the bed.

"This was the last one," Maura replied as she fed Noah the last of his banana, "we'll go out to buy new ones today. Okay?"

"'Kay." Lizzie sucked on her thumb and settled in bed next to Riley. "What's your favorite present, Riley?"

Riley chuckled. "I don't know, they're all awesome."

"Yeah, but what's your _favorite_?" Lizzie looked up at her sister, lowering her thumb. "Is it mine?" she whispered with a smirk, pointing at the blue friendship bracelet she picked out for her sister.

Riley laughed and nodded. "Yeah. It's yours."

Lizzie grinned proudly, putting her thumb back in her mouth as she rested her head back against the headboard. Riley was wearing a content smile on her face as she fumbled with the bracelet she got from Lizzie, looking at the other gifts she received. They didn't get her anything too big this year, but a lot of smaller, thoughtful gifts and Riley loved it.

"Honey," Maura looked at Lizzie as she adjusted Noah in her arms, "there's something we need to tell you about Riley."

"Okay." Lizzie looked up at her mother, still sucking on her thumb.

"You know how we said she was going to be sixteen today?"

"Yeah."

"Well, we found out that there is something not right with her birth certificate, and she's actually thirteen." Maura held her breath, waiting for Lizzie to reply.

Lizzie furrowed her brow and lowered her hand. "What's a birth cert- cecate?"

"Birth certificate." Jane smiled and brushed some curls out of Lizzie's face. "It's a piece of paper that says when you were born and stuff. Riley's dad changed it, so people thought Riley was older. But now we found out it's false, and we know she is thirteen today."

"Oh…" Lizzie thought about that for a while before she looked up at Riley. "You're not sixteen?"

"No." Riley shook her head. "I'm thirteen."

"Wow…" Lizzie's mouth fell open. "Mama! Can I be a different age too?"

Jane chuckled. "No, baby. You're six."

Lizzie pouted. "But I wanna be older!"

"Oh Lizzie, please stay six years old for as long as you can." Maura smiled as she caressed Noah's belly. "I want to keep you kids around for as long as possible." She looked into Noah's eyes that were turning more and more green every week, his hair getting darker slowly. It wasn't as red as it was when he was first born, and Maura was positive his hair would eventually turn out auburn or brown. He was turning into a gorgeous young boy and Maura was endlessly proud to call herself his mother.

She felt Noah getting fussy so she stood up from the bed to take him downstairs to his playpen. "Lizzie, go get dressed, please. We need to stop by the market before the family arrives."

"Can we have coco puffs?" Lizzie asked as she slid off the bed.

"Absolutely not." Maura shook her head as she walked out of the bedroom. "We can have bananas."

Lizzie pouted as she walked towards her bedroom to get dressed. "Okay then."

That afternoon, the whole family came over to celebrate Riley's birthday. Tommy came by with TJ, Frankie brought Angela and even Constance called them on the phone to wish Riley a happy birthday. Riley was smiling the entire afternoon, even though she was exhausted. It really seemed like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

Maura was in the kitchen making some more coffee when Angela stood next to her, placing her hand on Maura's arm. "She takes it well," she said softly.

Maura nodded. "She does. I think it's mostly a relief for her. An explanation."

"Yeah, I can see why." Angela smiled as she looked at Riley in the living room. "Hey," she turned to look at Maura, "did she tell you about wanting to send gifts to the adoption center?"

"No?" Maura shook her head and furrowed her brow.

"Yeah, she wants to find out the kids' birthdays at the adoption center to send them a small gift, or a card." Angela smiled a proud smile. "'Cause she said she has the most amazing birthdays now, and everyone shows that they love her and she remembered she never felt loved when she was at the adoption center. Kids there feel so alone on their birthday, you know?"

Maura felt tears in her eyes as she stared at Riley on the couch, watching her chatting with Frankie as she was holding Noah in her lap. "She has such a kind heart," Maura whispered.

Angela nodded. "I promised to help her. You know, have a grandma/granddaughter project? Oh, I love it already." Angela clapped her hands together and smiled brightly.

Maura chuckled. "She doesn't have the money to buy all those kids presents. There must be over fifty kids there!"

"Oh, we can figure something out. It doesn't have to be something big. Just something that lets them know someone is thinking about them. That's all."

"I love it." Maura smiled at her mother-in-law. "Thank you for encouraging her."

Angela shrugged. "No problem. That's what grandmothers are for, right?" She lovingly squeezed Maura's arm. "Let me take that coffee."

Maura handed Angela the coffee pot and felt two strong arms wrapping around her waist from behind. She sighed contently and leaned into her wife's front, closing her eyes as she enjoyed the closeness. "Hi, my love," she whispered with a smile.

"Hmm, hi." Jane kissed Maura's neck as she pulled her closer. "We're so lucky," she whispered.

"We are." Maura smiled a loving smile, looking at her family in the living room.

"You think Riley's gonna stay like this?" Jane asked quietly. "I mean… Reacting so well? Apart from last night of course."

Maura sighed. "I don't know. She's still confused. I think she'll go back and forth."

Jane hummed and rested her chin on Maura's shoulder, nuzzling her nose into the crook of her wife's neck. "She's having a great day, though. She loved the book you picked out."

Maura smiled, closing her eyes again as she enjoyed the feeling of her wife wrapped around her. "She loved the soccer shoes as well. She loved everything."

Jane nodded against Maura's neck. "I love everything about you," she whispered.

Maura smiled, turning around in Jane's arms to peck Jane's lips. "I love you too." She kissed her wife again until Noah cried out for attention, causing them to break apart and mingle with the family.

When the day was over, the family left and Jane was putting Lizzie to bed, Riley was reading her book in front of the fireplace, her brow furrowed in concentration. Maura smiled at the sight. She sighed contently and saw Riley looking up from her book, standing up from her spot to sit down next to her mother.

Maura placed her hand on the side of Riley's head and kissed her temple. "Hi, love," she whispered.

Riley just smiled and tucked her feet up on the couch to snuggle into Maura's side, turning her attention back to her book. After a few minutes of silence, Maura heard the sound of soft sniffling next to her. She snapped her attention towards her daughter, seeing tears falling down her cheeks. "Oh, my love." She took the book from Riley's hands and wrapped the girl up in her arms. "What's wrong?"

Riley shrugged. "I don't know."

Maura smiled a loving smile. She put Riley's book on the coffee table and pulled her daughter into her lap, feeling the skinny teenager curling up in her mother's arms. "I love you, beautiful girl," Maura whispered as she rested her cheek against Riley's forehead. "I love you more than you will ever know."

Riley just sniffled and covered her face with her arm. "I-I feel like m-my whole life is turned upside down."

"I know, my love." Maura kissed her forehead. "I know."

"I don't get it, I was doing fine today." Riley's breath hitched in her throat as she lowered her arm and hid her face in her mother's chest. "It just… hit me or something."

Maura nodded, her hand on the back of Riley's head to give her comfort. "It's a lot to take, baby. Suddenly everything feels different, even though it's still the same."

Riley nodded. "Yeah." She wiped her cheeks. "And I'm gonna have to tell Sarah tomorrow."

Maura sighed deeply. "She'll come over for your birthday tomorrow morning, right?"

"Yeah. She had to go to some church event with her parents today. She'll come tomorrow morning after church."

"We'll be here," Maura said softly, "if you need us."

"Okay." Riley sighed and snuggled closer into her mother. "I'm afraid to tell her… She's like… my only friend, y'know?"

"Hm." Maura kissed the top of Riley's head. "She's such a good girl. She likes you for who you are. I'm sure she's going to react just fine."

"I hope so." Riley sighed deeply as she wiped her cheeks with the sleeve of her sweater.

"Just face it when the time comes, okay?" Maura said quietly. "Don't worry about it too much tonight. Just enjoy the last hours of your birthday."

"It was a great birthday." Riley smiled through her tears. "Thank you."

Maura smiled. "You're more than welcome."

"Grandma and I are gonna go to the adoption center this Friday." Riley said as the last of her tears dried slowly. "To talk to the people there about the birthdays."

"Will she take you?"

"Yeah, she's gonna pick me up from school."

"Okay." Maura smoothed her daughter's hair on her back and smiled. "I love that idea, honey."

Riley smiled. "I just want everyone to feel loved on their birthday, 'cause it's the most awesome feeling."

"It is." Maura kissed the top of Riley's head and pulled her close. "And you have that feeling for every single birthday of the rest of your life."

Riley nodded, smiling a grateful smile. "Yeah. And those kids maybe only getting that feeling for one day but it's better than nothing, I think."

"It is." Maura cupped Riley's cheek against her chest and wiped her tears with her thumb. "It's a wonderful idea. I'm sure the people at the adoption center will love it as well."

"I hope so." Riley smiled and rubbed her eyes, indicating that she was getting quite tired.

"Jeez, that kid gets harder to put to bed every night!" Jane called out as she came walking downstairs and slumped down on the couch, lifting Riley's legs into her lap.

"You seem to be having more trouble with that than I do, Jane," Maura said, shaking her head. "It's because you joke around for too long. She needs calmness before she goes to sleep."

Jane smirked and rested her head back against the couch. "Yeah."

Maura chuckled. "Oh, you love it."

"Maybe." Jane smiled and turned her attention towards Riley, seeing her tear-stained cheeks. "How's my birthday girl?"

Riley shrugged and showed a watery smile. "Fine. Just a little overwhelmed."

Jane hummed and squeezed Riley's leg. "That's not surprising."

"I guess."

"Hey," Jane placed her hand on Riley's chin to look into her eyes, "it's not. This is heavy stuff. And you're doing amazing."

"Exactly. You just needed to cry it out for a bit." Maura smiled and stroked Riley's cheek with the back of her hand. "That's only natural."

Riley smiled a shy smile, until a big yawn interrupted it. She shivered in her mother's arms and snuggled against Maura. "Why don't you go take a warm shower and go to bed?" Maura whispered. "You must be exhausted."

Riley nodded but didn't move from Maura's lap. "Yeah."

Maura chuckled and pulled her daughter impossibly closer before gently patting her bottom. "Go."

Riley untangled herself from her mothers and stood up from Maura's lap, about to head upstairs before Maura stopped her. "Kiss." She cupped Riley's face and pressed her lips against her daughter's cheek. "You're a brave girl, my love." She smiled. "I'm proud of you."

"Thanks." Riley blushed and moved to give Jane a kiss as well. "Night, Ma."

"Sleep well, baby." Jane brushed Riley's hair back and kissed her forehead. "I love you."

"Love you too."

They watched Riley walking upstairs and Maura tucked her feet up on the couch to lean into her wife's side, resting her head on Jane's shoulder as her arm wrapped around the detective's slim waist. She sighed contently when she felt strong arms pulling her closer. "Our little girl is thirteen," she said with a smile. "Growing up so quickly, yet at the same time not at all."

"She was supposed to turn sixteen, and you still think she's growing up too fast." Jane chuckled and untangled one of her arms from around Maura's upper body to lace her fingers with her wife's.

"Well… Yes." Maura shook her head and snuggled into her wife's side. She sighed deeply and closed her eyes. "I love being a mom," she whispered.

"I love seeing you as a mom," Jane answered quietly, "you're the best mom our kids could ever wish for."

"So are you, Jane." Maura lifted her head to capture her wife's lips in a loving kiss. "So are you."

 _A/N I'm so sorry I can't keep up the frequent updates. It's getting harder and harder to find inspiration for this story after more than three parts, and school is just busy. But I'm not done with this lovely family! Input is very welcome, new ideas and feedback are appreciated! Thank you all for your reviews and support._


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 14**

Maura opened the restaurant door for her wife, allowing her to push the stroller outside as Maura held Lizzie's hand in hers, Riley following closely. The family just had a nice, small dinner together in a sweet Italian restaurant. The days were slowly getting warmer as spring was approaching, and the evening was cold but the smell of fresh flowers was in the air.

"My tummy hurts a little, Mommy," Lizzie said as she walked next to her mother, tightly holding Maura's hand.

"Hm, you've had a lot to eat." Maura smiled and caressed her daughter's curls that were tied up in a ponytail. "You ate all of Riley's dessert!"

"Riley was full!" Lizzie defended herself looking up at Maura with a pout.

Maura chuckled. "I know, baby. I'm glad you liked the food. Your tummy will get better soon." She smiled as she looked behind her, seeing Riley walking next to Jane with a sweet smile on her face. The girl had been happy and relaxed the past few days. Sarah took the news of her age very well, although she needed some time to get used to it. But their friendship was strong enough to make it through pretty much anything.

Noah was sleeping in his stroller, he had been patient and happily chatting and bouncing during dinner and he was now exhausted as the family walked through a small alley towards their car. They were forced apart to walk through the narrow alley, causing Riley to get behind.

After a few moments of silence, Maura suddenly heard a loud gasp and the sound of shoes scraping across the ground. She turned her head and felt her heart dropping to her stomach. A short, red-haired woman was holding Riley in a death-grip, a pale arm wrapped around Riley's neck as her other hand was holding a knife to her throat. Riley's eyes were wide and filled with terror and tears as her entire body shook.

"Riley!" Maura gasped, letting go of Lizzie's hand to step towards her oldest daughter.

"Stay where you are!" the woman growled, pushing the knife tighter against Riley's throat.

"What do you want?" Jane asked, her voice dangerously low. "I'll kill you with my bare hands if you hurt her, you hear me?"

"Give me the boy."

That's when it hit Maura. The red hair. The blue eyes. Erica. The woman who gave birth to Noah. She wanted him back. How did she find them? Where did she come from?

"Let her go, Erica," Maura said, her voice shaking.

Jane shot her attention towards Maura for a second as she too realized who this woman was. "You gave him up, Erica," she said while she looked back at the short, but strong woman. "He's not yours. Now let my daughter go. You're only making things worse for yourself."

"NO!" Erica screamed, causing Riley to whimper. "GIVE HIM TO ME! He's mine!"

Jane shook her head. She moved her hands away from the stroller and held them up in the air, slowly walking towards the woman.

"Jane," Maura whispered, noticing how the knife started cutting Riley's skin.

"He's not yours and you know it, Erica."

"DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!" Erica's voice was high-pitched and panicked, and Maura knew there was no reasoning with her. "I'LL CUT HER! I'LL DO IT!"

"No," Jane stepped back, keeping her hands up. "Okay."

"Give him to me." She moved the knife up and Maura put her hand in front of her mouth as she saw a small streak of blood trickling down Riley's throat.

"Please don't hurt her," Maura whispered, reaching out her hand to her daughter. "Just… Don't hurt her, please. She's been through so much."

Riley was crying as she looked into Maura's eyes the entire time, fear and pain edged on her face. Jane held up her hands and stepped back. "How did you find us, Erica? Have you been following us? Is that how you did it?"

"GIVE HIM!" Erica shouted, her eyes fixated on Jane and Noah.

They had no choice. If they moved, she would slide Riley's throat. The woman was way too unstable. But giving up Noah to this crazy woman… That wasn't an option either. Maura relied on Jane. She would know what to do. But when she saw those brown eyes looking at her, she saw fear.

"Alright," Jane held up her hands and turned towards the stroller. "Let me get him out."

Erica hesitated, not wanting Jane to turn her back to her. But she stayed silent, the knife getting dangerously closer to Riley's throat with every second, drawing more and more blood.

"No, Ma!" Riley said, struggling to keep standing.

"QUIET!" Erica groaned, harshly pulling Riley's hair to keep her chin up.

Maura felt her throat closing up in fear, her stomach hurting as she looked at her wife. Was she about to give Noah up? No. She couldn't. She looked into Jane's eyes and saw her detective nodding at her, telling her that Jane had a plan.

Jane unclasped Noah from his seat, effectively waking him up. The boy started crying immediately. "Shh," Jane cooed him, lifting him into her arms. "It's okay."

Maura held her breath, waiting to see the blood pouring out of Riley's throat, the life flooding out of her daughter, crippling pain and loss breaking her. She waited for her whole world to start crumbling down in the next few seconds, she waited for her absolute worst fear to become reality. Her stomach was twisting, she felt like her throat was closing up and her lungs were struggling to keep breathing.

She looked into those bright blue eyes she loved so much, seeing only fear. Riley's gaze was fixated on Jane, her expression screaming for help. "Jane," Maura whispered, her voice only a breath.

Jane looked at Maura one last time before she kicked the stroller towards Erica with all the strength she had, making the woman lose her balance. In a flash, Jane was on top of the woman, holding her down. Maura didn't even grasp what was happening until it was happening.

Erica was strong. Maura saw Jane's muscles tensing to keep her down, and she saw Erica's pale fingers slowly creeping towards the knife a few inches away on the ground. Before Maura knew what she was doing, she ran towards the two and placed her four-inch heel on the woman's wrist, making her cry out in pain. She kicked the knife away and watched Jane taking a hold of her.

It was then that Maura finally released her breath and looked around to find Riley standing against the wall, her knees buckling beneath her as her kept her hand on her throat. She faintly heard the sound of Lizzie and Noah crying in the back of her mind, as well as Jane calling her colleagues at BPD, but she hurried towards Riley to bring the girl into her arms.

Riley was shaking uncontrollably and gasping for air as she clung to her mother, her face hidden in Maura's warm chest. "Oh, my love," Maura whispered, tears trickling down her cheeks.

"Go, Maura," Jane said from on top of Erica. "Get them away from here."

Maura looked over Riley's head and saw Lizzie struggling to hold Noah up, the stroller on its side on the ground. She felt Riley slipping into a panic attack. She looked back at Jane and shook her head. "I'm not leaving you."

"I'm okay, they'll be here in five." Jane nodded, kicking Erica with her knee to stop her from squirming.

Maura shook her head, tears burning in her eyes. "I need you, Jane," she whispered.

"I'll be there." Jane managed a small smile. "Take them."

Maura sighed and nodded. She untangled herself from Riley and took the girl's hand in hers as she stepped towards Lizzie to take Noah from the small girl. "It's okay, baby," she said to both of them. "We're all okay."

Lizzie just nodded, looking at her mother with her eyes wide in fear. Maura caressed the girl's cheek and placed Noah on her hip, kissing his cheek as she took Riley's hand back in hers and told Lizzie to follow them towards the car.

Riley was shaking on her legs, barely able to keep herself up. Lizzie was walking and sobbing quietly as Noah kept on crying against his mother. When they reached the car, Maura let herself fall against the side of it and closed her eyes as she rested her cheek against her baby's small head. "You're okay, my baby," she whispered, trying to soothe him. "We wouldn't give you up for anything."

Noah's small hand tangled in Maura's hair as she felt the boy relaxing against her, his cries slowly fading. She pulled Riley into her side and felt Lizzie shifting to stand in front of her, resting against her legs. Maura wished she had enough arms to hug all of them. Lizzie just stood there, lost and afraid. Riley was shaking and crying, trying to keep herself from falling apart.

Lizzie looked up at Maura, tears falling down her cheeks. "M-Mama…"

"Mama's okay, baby," Maura said with a smile. "She's a very good detective and she's done this before. She's very strong, remember?"

Lizzie nodded, her eyes still wide in fear.

"Mama's okay. I promise."

"She is." Jane walked towards them, pushing an empty stroller with a smile. "I'm the best detective in the world, don't you remember?"

"Mama!" Lizzie ran towards her mother and jumped into Jane's arms, eliciting a loving smile from the brunette.

"I'm okay, peanut," Jane whispered as she lifted Lizzie into her arms. "We're all okay."

Lizzie just nodded and hid her face into her mother's messy curls as she clutched her arms around Jane's neck. "Mama…"

Maura smiled a sad smile as she turned her attention towards her oldest daughter, pulling Riley's head into the crook of her neck as she kissed the top of her head. "Jane." Maura looked at her wife, silently asking her to take Noah.

Jane took the little boy, placing him on her hip while she balanced Lizzie on the other. Maura smiled at the adorable sight before she turned towards Riley, gently moving the girl's hand away from her throat. "Let me see," she whispered. The cut wasn't deep enough to need stitches. It was bleeding, but not too bad. "Does it hurt, honey?"

Riley didn't reply. She was too busy to keep breathing. Erica brought up the worst kind of memories for the young girl. Flashbacks. Nightmares. Fears. Maura sighed deeply, closed her eyes and pulled her daughter into her arms. "I love you, baby girl," she whispered, at loss for better words.

"C'mon, let's go home." Jane buckled Noah up in his car seat, folded up the stroller and helped Lizzie into the middle of the backseat as Maura guided Riley to sit next to her younger sister.

She kissed Riley's forehead as she helped her buckle her seatbelt, Riley's hand too shaky to fasten it. "We'll be home soon, my love."

Jane drove as fast as she could while Maura sat shifted backwards in her seat the entire time, keeping an eye on Riley and gently rubbing Lizzie's leg as the girl just kept on crying. As soon as Jane parked the car in the garage, Riley stepped out and almost ran inside.

Maura looked at Jane and Jane nodded her head. "Go. Get her, quickly."

Maura nodded. She hurried out of the car and ran after her daughter. "Riley!" She knew what would happen if they left her alone right now. "Riley, stop!"

Riley was halfway across the kitchen when Maura caught up with her, gently grabbing her arm. "No, honey."

"I'm fine!" Riley struggled to get free, tears streaming down her face.

Maura shook her head. "No, baby. I know what will happen if I let you go now and I'm not going to let it get to that." She placed her hands on Riley's arms, trying to get her to stop squirming. "I'm not going to let you slip into a panic attack."

After a few more struggles, the girl relaxed a little more and looked into her mother's eyes. Maura gently caressed her cheek. "You're okay, my love," she whispered. "She didn't get you. He's gone. No one is going to hurt you, you're safe."

"I-it's…" Riley struggled to get a sound out of her mouth.

"Shh, my love." Maura wrapped her arm around Riley's shoulders and guided her towards the couch, bringing her girl with her in her arms. Riley curled up in her mother's lap and sobbed quietly, her breaths coming in quick gasps.

The rest of the family quietly entered the living room, and Maura heard Jane whispering to Lizzie to go get changed into her pajamas and then come back downstairs for something to drink. She felt Jane sitting down next to her and turned her head to look into deep, brown eyes that shimmered with tears. Jane kissed the top of Noah's head and smiled a sad smile at her wife.

"It's t-too mu-much," Riley stuttered against Maura's chest. "It's t-too much, Mom."

Maura closed her eyes and pulled her girl impossibly closer. It was. It was too much for her. It became too much. Maura felt it. She felt Riley's exhaustion. She felt her losing the urge to fight. She felt Riley's need to stay curled up in her mother's lap for weeks to come, not thinking about anything. "It's okay, baby," Maura said quietly, her hand rubbing up and down Riley's back. "I'm here. Mama's here. We're all here."

After a few moments of silence, Lizzie came slowly walking downstairs, wearing long-sleeved pajamas and warm socks. She climbed up on the couch and leaned into Jane's side, playing with her little brother as she kept her thumb in her mouth. Maura smiled as she felt a feeling of bliss overwhelming her at having her family together. There was too much pain but they were together. Safe.

"Deep breaths, my love," Maura whispered, gently rubbing Riley's back as she heard the girl's breaths increasing again. "I'm here. Just take a deep breath."

Riley's eyes were squeezed shut and her fist was clutching Maura's dress, her knuckles turning white. She felt the girl shaking against her as Riley moved her hand away from her mother's dress and into her hair where she started pulling hard.

"Shh," Maura soothed her daughter, gently pulling Riley's hand away. "Just squeeze my hand."

Riley gripped Maura's hand with such strength it made her flinch, but she didn't let go. She felt her daughter's tears on her chest as her hand bruised. "I'm here, my love. We're all here and we love you so much, sweet girl. You're so strong, so brave." Maura's voice was soft and she prayed it would comfort her panicking daughter. "We're so proud of you, baby. You're so brave."

After a while, Riley's aching grip on Maura's hand loosened as her muscles relaxed. "That's it," Maura whispered. "Calm down, my girl."

"M-ma," Riley said quietly, her voice shaking.

"Hm?" Jane turned her attention away from Noah to look at her oldest daughter.

"W-were you really gonna give up Noah?"

Jane smiled and shook her head. "No, baby. I would never."

"Then why'd you take him out?"

"To use the stroller." Jane shrugged. "My cop-instinct took over."

"We wouldn't pick any of you over the other, honey," Maura said as she brushed Riley's hair back.

Riley sighed in relief and closed her eyes as she relaxed back into Maura's arms. "I really thought you were gonna give him to her," she said softly before she opened her eyes to look at her little brother.

"No, baby. We would never."

"Mama?" Lizzie asked, looking up at her mother.

"Yeah?"

"What's gonna happen to the bad lady?"

Jane smiled and caressed Lizzie's pink cheek. "She's arrested and the police officers took her to the police station."

"Is she gonna go to prison?"

"I think so, yeah. She's a little messed up in her head. So people are going to help her but she's definitely going to get punished for this."

Lizzie nodded and seemed satisfied with that answer as she relaxed back against Jane's upper arm. "She's a really bad lady," she whispered with her thumb in her mouth. "She can't steal Noah. That's stupid."

Maura smiled. "It is." She wiped Riley's cheek with the back of her hand and gently rocked the girl back and forth. "You need to go to bed, Lizzie," Maura said with a smile. "It's already way past your bedtime."

Lizzie sighed deeply and nodded, not even protesting. Maura looked into Jane's eyes and smiled. She untangled herself from Riley and gently lowered the girl on the couch before she took Noah from her wife, carrying the baby on her hip as she took Lizzie's hand in hers. Jane immediately shifted towards Riley and took the girl in her arms. Riley curled up, tucking her feet up on the couch as her muscles relaxed. No matter how good Maura was at calming Riley down and soothing her, no one could make her feel as safe as Jane.

She leaned down to place a quick kiss on Jane's lips before she took her two youngest children upstairs to put them to bed. "Go brush your teeth, baby," Maura said to Lizzie. "I'll be right with you."

Noah wiggled his feet as Maura put him down to change his diaper, smiling when he looked at his mother. "Hey, my sweet boy," Maura whispered as she looked into blue eyes. "You were so scared today, weren't you?" She smiled and put his diaper away. "Even though you don't even realized what happened."

The little boy made an adorable suckling sound, eliciting a smile from his mother. "It was your biological mother, baby," Maura whispered. "She regrets her decision to give you up. You're just such a beautiful, sweet little baby. That's why. She said she wanted you back but your mommies are never, ever going to give you up. We always want what's best for you. And she's not what's best for you, baby." She fastened his fresh diaper and covered his cheeks in kisses, eliciting sweet giggles from the boy. "We love you way too much to let anything happen to you!"

"Mommy, I'm done." Lizzie walked towards her mother, an adorable streak of toothpaste across her cheek.

Maura smiled at the sight and zipped up Noah's sleeping bag before taking him in her arms. "Would you like a good night kiss from your sister, Noah?"

Lizzie giggled and reached up her arms. Maura kneeled and smiled when Lizzie's carefully kissed her brother's cheek. "Do you want to pull his music giraffe?"

"Yeah." Lizzie stepped on the bottom part of Noah's bed and pulled the string on the other side of his bed as Maura gently lowered him, watching his eyes already closing.

"Sleep well, my beautiful boy," Maura whispered, kissing the top of his head as she caressed his cheek. "I love you."

"Night, Noah." Lizzie waved at her little brother.

"Your turn, baby." Maura took Lizzie's hand and turned off the lights in Noah's room to head to Lizzie's. She tucked her daughter in and licked her thumb to wipe the toothpaste off her cheek.

Lizzie wrinkled her nose. "Gross, Mommy."

Maura chuckled and kissed her girl's cheek. "You must've been afraid today."

Lizzie nodded, fumbling with the sheets. "Yeah. A lot."

"You did a very good job, honey. I'm proud of you."

Lizzie smiled a shy smile. "Thanks. It's 'cause I wanna work with the police."

"Oh, you'd be an amazing police officer."

"Just like Mama."

Maura nodded. "Just like Mama." She smiled at the sight of her beautiful little girl and brushed her messy curls back. "Can I have a hug?" she whispered quietly.

Lizzie nodded and sat up to climb into Maura's lap, her short arms wrapping around her mother's neck as Maura pulled her close. "I love you, my brave little police officer."

Lizzie smiled against Maura's neck and snuggled closer. "Love you too, Mommy."

Maura gently rocked her girl from side to side and kissed the side of her head. "Try to sleep, okay?" she whispered, knowing Lizzie would have trouble falling asleep that night. "Just… close your eyes and think of something nice."

Lizzie nodded and relaxed against her mother, her arms falling away from around Maura's neck. "Yeah…"

Maura pulled away from her daughter and gently tucked her in, covering her in warm blankets. She placed a few kisses on Lizzie's forehead and caressed her cheek. "Sleep well, sweet girl."

"Night, Mommy," Lizzie mumbled as she turned on her side to snuggle with Stevie and into her pillow.

Maura sighed and kissed Lizzie's head before she turned out the lights and closed her bedroom door. She stood still in the hallway and rested back against the wall, closing her eyes as she felt exhaustion and relief overwhelming her. What happened today? She didn't even grasp it yet. She was too busy taking care of her children because they needed her. Now that everything was quiet, she felt the fear of that evening. She felt the desperation, the pain and the tears. She was empty. Completely empty. She needed her wife. She needed her strong, beautiful, caring detective. All she wanted was to spend the night in Jane's arms, with Riley right by her side. Safe. Alive and well.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Jane sighed deeply as she closed Riley's bedroom door. She closed her eyes and waited for a few minutes until she was absolutely sure it stayed quiet. The girl had been crying for a long time without talking. Just silently crying and clutching to her mothers before she finally calmed down enough to go to sleep.

It was a little past midnight but Jane knew she wouldn't get much sleep tonight. She felt a crippling headache announcing itself as she walked downstairs towards her wife. She saw Maura sitting on the couch with her back to Jane, but the detective already knew what she would see before she even approached her. Maura's shoulders were shaking and Jane heard soft sniffles.

"Maura…"

Maura shook her head and wiped her cheeks. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I-…"

"Don't apologize." Jane sat down next to the blonde and cupped Maura's cheek to kiss her lips.

Maura rested her forehead against Jane's and closed her eyes. "How did she find us, Jane?" she whispered.

"I don't know." Jane sighed and took Maura's hand in hers, squeezing lovingly. "They'll interrogate her, so we'll know."

"I don't know if I want to know."

Jane nodded. She pressed her lips against Maura's for a loving kiss, loving the taste of her wife's soft lips, feeling her skilled hands reaching up to cup her cheek, her perfect, soft body scooting closer to mold itself against Jane's. She felt desperation in the kiss. Fear. Exhaustion. Everything at once.

When they broke apart, Maura wrapped her arms around her wife in a desperate hug, almost crawling inside the detective. "God, I'm so worried about Riley," Maura whispered with tears in her voice. "What if this really is too much?"

"She's strong, Maur," Jane replied quietly.

Maura nodded her head in the crook of Jane's neck. "I know." Maura sighed deeply and tightened her hold on her detective. "She needs more therapy sessions. Her panic attacks are getting stronger and more frequent."

"Hm." Jane nodded slowly.

"If she goes to see Dr. Holden more often, she might learn how to deal with her fears and stress," Maura continued, her voice soft and professional, as if she was talking to her staff at work. "Finding out about her age caused her a lot of underlying stress, and I'm afraid today has just made everything too much."

"Yeah." Jane wrapped her arms tighter around Maura's upper body. "Can we call her therapist to ask for more sessions? Like, every week? Twice a week?"

"Yes." Maura nodded and pulled back to look at her wife. "Once a week will be a good start, I think."

"Okay." Jane sighed and averted her gaze, unsure of what to say. There was nothing to say. She was exhausted and she knew Maura was too. "Should we go to bed?" she whispered, her voice defeated and soft. "I'm beat."

"Yes, please." Maura took Jane's hand and led her upstairs where they quickly finished their nightly routine, too tired to properly wash off make-up or find pajamas. Jane threw on an old T-shirt and moved the blankets for her wife to join her.

Maura sighed deeply as she slid in next to her wife, turning around so Jane could spoon her from behind, smiling a tired smile when the brunette pressed kisses on her neck. "I love you, Maur," Jane whispered as her arms wrapped around Maura's soft waist and chest.

"I love you too," Maura whispered back, her voice laced with exhaustion. "Thank you for keeping us safe."

"You're welcome." Jane smirked in the dark, closing her eyes at the lovely feeling of her wife in her arms. "That's what I'm for, right?"

"Yes," Maura replied quietly, "but you're so much more."

Jane only hummed, feeling her cheeks blushing. "No one calms her down like you do."

"That's true." Maura nodded, threading her fingers with Jane's around her waist. "But no one makes her feel as safe as you do."

"Guess we make a pretty good team, huh?"

Maura chuckled. "We do."

Jane suppressed a yawn and nuzzled her face into her wife's neck. "Night, Maur. I love you."

"Sleep well, my love," Maura whispered softly. "I love you too."

Surprisingly, it wasn't Riley who came crawling into their bed in the middle of the night. Jane felt a pair of cold feet against her leg and messy curls tickling her chin. She opened her eyes, squinting at the headache that seemed to bruise her head behind her eyes. "Hi, baby," she mumbled at Lizzie. "What's wrong?"

"I'm scared, Mama," Lizzie whispered, her eyes filled with unshed tears.

"What are you scared of?"

Lizzie shrugged. "The bad lady."

"The bad lady is gone, honey," Jane whispered, pulling the blankets tighter around her youngest daughter. "She can't get out. You're safe."

"What about Riley?"

Jane smiled a sad smile at Lizzie's concern for her sister. "She's safe too. I promise. All the doors are locked very tightly, the bad lady is in prison and no one is going to hurt us."

Lizzie nodded but Jane saw her desperately trying to hold back her tears. "Why did the lady want Noah, Mama?"

Jane sighed. "She's gave birth to him," she whispered quietly, careful not to wake her wife. "But she didn't want him, so we became his parents. And now she said she wanted him back."

"But she's not Noah's Mommy," Lizzie whispered back. "She can't have him, right?"

Jane shook her head. "No, she can't. He's ours."

"Me too?" Lizzie asked, looking up at her mother in the dark, her eyes big and shimmering with tears. "Am I you and Mommy's too?"

"Yes, baby." Jane brushed her daughter's hair back and stroked her cheek.

"So… Is my first Mommy then not my Mommy anymore?"

Jane sighed deeply and furrowed her brow. She wished Maura were awake. She was so good at this. But she wouldn't wake her. "It's complicated, honey. Your first Mommy died, and then we became your mommies. So, in a way, you have three mommies."

Lizzie averted her gaze, lost in thought. "Just… One Mommy up in the sky. And two here."

"Exactly, something like that." Jane kissed her girl's forehead and wrapped her up in her arms. "You have three mommies that love you very much."

Lizzie nodded against Jane's chest, snuggling in her arms to get warm. "Did Riley have a first Mommy too? Or was she with you forever?"

"No, Riley's first Mommy also died. We've only been her mommies for a few years."

"So… Noah's first mommy is the bad lady."

Jane sighed deeply and nodded. She wanted to sleep, but she knew she had to answer Lizzie's questions. "Yeah, she is."

"Is she gonna go up in the sky too?"

"No, baby. She's just in prison." Jane kissed the top of Lizzie's head.

Lizzie yawned and nuzzled herself into her mother's arms. "Okay."

Jane smiled. "Get some sleep, honey. Tomorrow's a new day."

Lizzie nodded, her eyes slowly closing. Jane kissed her forehead and pulled her close in her arms. "I love you, baby."

"Love you too, Mama," Lizzie mumbled as she put her thumb into her mouth. "Night."

It only took a few minutes for Lizzie to fall asleep, safely wrapped up in strong arms. Jane felt her wife snuggling into her back in her sleep and the detective fell asleep with a content smile on her face.

When she woke up, the bed was empty. She furrowed her brow and looked at her phone to see she had slept in way later than she had planned. It was a Sunday, so everyone would have a day off, but the house was quiet. She slid out of bed, stretched her muscles and put on a pair of sweatpants and a thin sweater. She tied her hair up in a ponytail, too lazy to shower that morning.

Noah's bedroom door was closed so he was probably still sleeping, something that was quite rare lately, so she decided to leave him for now. Walking down the hall, she heard soft whispers coming from Riley's bedroom.

Maura was sitting on the edge of Riley's bed, her hand making soft strokes on the girl's cheek and forehead as Riley just stared into the distance, her eyes empty. "What's going on?" Jane asked, carefully stepping into the room.

Maura sighed deeply but didn't avert her gaze from her daughter. "I'm not sure."

"Is she sick?"

"No, I don't think she is."

"Riley." Jane kneeled in front of Riley's bed to look at her daughter, but Riley just kept staring at nothing. "What's going on, baby?"

"She won't get out of bed, she won't talk…" Maura's voice was laced with concern and tears.

Jane looked at her wife and saw hazel eyes filled with pain. Maura shook her head. "I've tried everything," she whispered.

"Have you been strict with her?" Jane asked, knowing how hard that was for Maura.

Maura sighed. She hadn't. Jane looked at Riley and gently caressed her cheek. "C'mon, get up, honey."

Riley didn't reply.

"You're not going to lie in bed all day. That's not going to make anything better, it'll only make things worse. I know things are difficult and overwhelming but I won't allow you to just lie in bed all day. So you're gonna get up, eat breakfast and start the day." Jane's voice was strict but soft, but Riley still didn't reply.

Maura sighed and straightened her back. "Riley Rizzoli-Isles, look at me."

The strict voice of her mother startled Riley and she finally looked at the blonde on the edge of the bed. Maura didn't smile like she usually did. "I'm not letting this happen, okay? I love you too much for that. You are going to get out of bed right now and take a shower. Right now."

Suddenly tears welled up in Riley's eyes and Jane sighed in relief. A sign of emotion. That was good, she thought. Riley slowly nodded and sat up, climbing out of her bed at the opposite side of her mother. She didn't speak or look at them as she grabbed a towel, some underwear and a sweater and walked into the bathroom.

Jane closed her eyes. "Wow."

"Was that the right thing to do? Was-… Was that what we were supposed to do?" Maura shook her head as she stood up from the bed, fumbling with her hands. "Should we have acted differently?"

"Maur," Jane stood up and took her wife's hands. "Calm down, okay? We did what we could. We got her out of bed, right?"

"Yes, but look at how we did it!"

"Tough love." Jane shrugged and wiped a tear off Maura's cheek. "Maybe she needs that too every now and then."

Maura closed her eyes. She stepped forward and hid herself into Jane's arms. "I don't know, Jane."

Jane sighed deeply, tightening her arms around the blonde. She didn't know either. She wouldn't let Riley slip into a depression. But she was afraid they scared her off.

Noah's urgent cries pulled them out of their thoughts. Maura kissed Jane's shoulder and untangled herself from her wife. "I'll get him."

Jane watched Maura leave Riley's bedroom before she turned her attention towards the closed bathroom door. She didn't hear anything unusual and decided to leave her daughter alone for now. Back in the hallway, she heard Maura lovingly talking to their son, eliciting a sweet smile from the brunette. "Maur? Where's Lizzie?"

"Downstairs, watching TV."

Jane nodded and headed downstairs, smiling when she saw Lizzie lying on the couch, one of her short arms falling off the couch as she stared at the cartoon on the television screen. "Morning, baby."

Lizzie lifted her head to look at her mother. "Morning, Mama."

"Did you have a good sleep in your mommies' bed?" Jane asked as she sat down on the couch and took Lizzie's legs into her lap, gently rubbing her cold bare feet to try and get them warmer.

Lizzie nodded while she turned her attention back to the TV. "Yeah."

"Why didn't you put on socks, Liz? Your feet are freezing!"

Lizzie shrugged. "Not anymore."

"Oh you'd rather have me warm them up, huh?" Jane chuckled, continuing to rub her daughter's feet.

"Yep." Lizzie nodded. She sat up and crawled into Jane's lap, tucking her feet under herself as she snuggled in her mother's warm arms. "Is Riley sick?"

Jane sighed. "She's not feeling well."

"Is it 'cause of the bad lady?"

"I think so, yeah." She kissed the top of Lizzie's head. "But it's nothing bad. She'll be fine. I think."

"You gotta give her kisses, Mama," Lizzie said with her thumb in her mouth. "Makes it better."

Jane smiled a loving smile. "Yeah. I'll try that."

And she did. Riley came downstairs, wearing a pair of red plaid pajama pants and a tight fitting sweater, her wet hair tied up in a messy bun. Jane smiled at her beautiful daughter and pulled Lizzie off her lap to walk towards Riley. "Hi, baby," she said softly. She cupped her daughter's cheek and gently kissed her forehead. Riley allowed it. Jane sighed in relief and wrapped her arms around the short girl. "I'm sorry I was so hard on you."

Riley didn't reply.

"Please, baby," Jane whispered, her voice suddenly thick with tears. She wanted to be tough and strong, but she failed. She hated to see her daughter like this. She was always the person to help the ones she loved and it killed her that she couldn't. Riley's feelings were raging through her, breaking her, confusing her. And there was nothing Jane could do. It was her job to protect her children, but she couldn't protect Riley from the things inside of herself. The nightmares. The fears. The memories. "Please just tell me what you're feeling. I want to help you so bad."

"Bad _ly_." Maura smiled as she came downstairs, carrying a wide-awake nine-month old on her hip. She put him down on the rug in the living room, handing him a few toys as Noah immediately started crawling around. "Please get your pens off the floor, Lizzie. I told you Noah will put them in his mouth."

Lizzie did as asked, clearing away her coloring supplies as Maura walked back to Jane and Riley behind the couch. Jane could tell she was trying to keep up her tough-love act, but she knew one look at the aching teenager in Jane's arms would turn her back into the sweet mother she was. "Oh, Riley." Maura dropped her shoulders and sighed deeply as she kissed Riley's temple. "Are you in physical pain?"

Riley shrugged. A reply, finally.

"Is it fear? Memories? Nightmares?" Maura furrowed her brow, keeping her loving strokes on Riley's back. It was a guessing game and neither women liked it, but it was the only way to get Riley to respond.

She nodded. "It's everything," she whispered, her voice hoarse and pained. She hid her face into Jane's shoulder, her hands clutching Jane's sweater on her chest. "My stomach hurts, my head hurts, I feel like I can't breathe sometimes and the whole world is spinning."

Maura nodded and Jane pulled Riley closer into the embrace. "You were traumatized."

"Yeah, but I've been traumatized lots of times and it was never like this!"

"Maybe you just need a little time, honey. It's only been a day." Maura caressed Riley's cheek with the back of her hand.

"How about you go meditate with your Mom for a while?" Jane whispered, resting her cheek against Riley's temple as she looked into Maura's eyes. "That helped a few times before, right?"

Riley nodded. "Yeah."

"Is that a good idea?" Jane asked, looking back and forth from her daughter to her wife. "Maybe?"

Maura smiled a loving smile. "I think it's a great idea. Riley?"

Riley just nodded. She allowed Maura to kiss her temple and showed a sad smile.

"Go. I'll bring you some breakfast later." Jane let go of Riley and rubbed her upper arms.

"Noah hasn't eaten yet," Maura said as she took Riley's hand.

"I'm on it." Jane nodded and headed towards her happily playing son, smiling when she watched him chewing on one of his Sesame Street toys. "Looks like he's hungry, trying to eat Elmo!"

Lizzie giggled and Jane was happy to see a small smile curling Riley's lips before she followed her mother into the yoga room. "Alright, buddy. Let's go fix you something to eat before Elmo misses an ear." Jane chuckled as she picked Noah up in her arms, eliciting a sweet grin from the boy. "Liz, pancakes of waffles?"

"Both!" 

"No way, Jose. Pick one." 

Lizzie pursed her lips and followed her mother into the kitchen. "Waffles then."

"Alright. Waffles for Lizzie, fruit mush for Noah coming right up."

 _A/N Thank you all so much for your kind reviews! I think I found a new flow of inspiration with this new, somewhat crazy storyline. I hope to update more frequently, but I can't promise anything because of school._

 _I can't tell you how much it means to me that you are reading this story that is so very close to my heart, about a character that is a part of me. Riley is a very important character to me. She means a lot. Thank you so, so much. Please let me know what you think, as always suggestions are welcome!_


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

"You've been so quiet, honey," Maura whispered, gently stroking Riley's head in her lap. "I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine." Riley stared at the sky that was slowly turning dark on a warm spring evening.

"I don't think you are," Maura replied quietly. "You're not yourself."

"So?"

"So? I miss you!" Maura shifted on the garden seat to pull Riley's head into a more comfortable position in her lap. "I want you to come back."

"I'm here."

Maura sighed. "You know very well what I mean, Riley."

Riley flinched at her mother's strict tone and Maura immediately regretted it. The girl had more therapy sessions than before and it certainly helped her, but it was like they lost her a little. It was like the old Riley was lost and made place for a new, quieter and more introverted Riley. Maura loved that Riley with all she had, but she still missed the old Riley. Jane took Riley for a beat-up session with George once a week, and sometimes Maura thought that helped her more than the therapy sessions. She just finished one, leaving the girl exhausted.

"I-… I feel a little lost," Riley said softly, her voice tired and hoarse. "A lot lost, actually."

Maura hummed, happy to hear her daughter talking about her feelings, finally.

"Like… I want to be happy and all, but it's like I can't reach the happy part inside of me, y'know?" Riley shrugged and shivered in just a T-shirt. "Like the happy part of me is really close but I just can't find it somehow."

Maura gently stroked Riley's cheek as she felt tears burning in her eyes. "How can we help you find it?" she whispered.

Riley shrugged and Maura saw tears shimmering in her blue eyes. "That's the thing," she whispered, her voice thick with tears. "I don't know."

"Oh, honey." Maura pulled Riley up and into her arms, her head resting against her chest. "I want to help you find that happy part again, so badly."

"Me too." Riley cried silently, her tears wetting her mother's blouse. "It sucks like this."

Maura didn't even point out her daughter's language. She knew it sucked. She felt it in the way Riley got out of bed every morning, how the girl went to school and lived her life. Was it depression? Maura didn't know. All she knew was that she wanted her daughter back. "I want you back, baby." Maura cupped Riley's face and pulled her away from her chest to look into her eyes. "I just want my Riley back."

"I wanna come back too." A few tears trickled down Riley's cheeks as she looked at her mother. "But I don't know how."

"We'll help you." Maura wiped the tears with her thumbs. "Your Ma and I, dr. Holden, Grandma… We'll all help you."

Riley nodded. "I know."

"You're going to the adoption center tomorrow, aren't you?"

"Yeah. After school. Grandma's gonna pick me up."

"Do you have a present? Or do you need one from the present box?"

"No, I got it already. Grandma and I got a dress for a doll, for this girl that's turning four tomorrow. Lauren said she likes dolls and she always has one with her."

Maura pursed her lips and hummed contently. Ever since Riley offered to bring birthday presents to the adoption center where she stayed before she became their daughter, they had a permanent present box in the house. It was a box full of 'emergency presents' from candy to dolls and action figures, coloring supplies and even some clothes. The kids were incredibly happy to receive presents on their birthday, something they hadn't known for a long time. It made Riley happy too. Every time she came back from a visit, she was glowing a little bit more. It was like her lost happy part was carefully peaking through the heavy clouds.

She kissed Riley's head and smiled when she saw Jane carrying their freshly bathed son outside. "Noah wants a goodnight kiss, Mommy."

Maura smiled a bright smile and untangled herself from Riley to eagerly reach out her arms for her little boy, who was growing quicker and quicker with every second. "Hi, my handsome little man."

"Baba!" Noah blabbered the one name for 'mommy' he could actually pronounce, wiggling his fingers at his mother. The first time he said it, Jane cried. Maura chuckled at the memory. Her tough, badass detective cried when their son said his first word. It sounded more like 'baba', which was very common for a child his age, but Jane insisted he was trying to say 'mama'.

Maura took her boy into her arms and covered his freckled cheek in kisses. His hair was turning darker and darker, but his eyes were becoming a lighter shade of blue, slightly resembling Riley's. He was becoming more beautiful every day. "Did you have fun with Mama?" Maura asked, tickling the boy's belly.

Noah grinned, revealing a single tooth at the top of his jaw, a few small ones at the bottom. He cried for days when they came through and Jane and Maura didn't get a proper night sleep in weeks. Noah was growing teeth as quickly as Lizzie was losing them.

"Oh, I can't believe our little boy is turning one so soon!" Maura exclaimed with a kiss to Noah's forehead.

"Lizzie's birthday first, Maur," Jane smirked and tucked a strand of hair behind Riley's ear, noticing the streaks of tears on her face. "Little girl turning seven."

"Oh, don't remind me." Maura shook her head, smiling at her handsome boy. She loved to watch her children grow up, but she also wanted to keep them little for as long as possible. With Riley, they set time a few years back when they found out about her real age. But now that Lizzie was turning seven in a few days, and Noah turning one… It reminded her that time hadn't stopped. Far from it. "About that, did you manage to get the day off on her birthday?"

"Yeah, depending on if we get a new case. But I already told the team I'll have to be home by the time Lizzie gets back from school." Jane nodded and kept sweetly stroking Riley's hair. She didn't ask what was wrong, but she knew something happened.

"I still need a present for her," Riley said, looking up at her mother. "I don't want to get her something from the present box."

Maura chuckled. "We can go shopping when you come back from the adoption center tomorrow."

"But I have so much homework…" Riley sighed and dropped her shoulders.

"Do you know what you want to get her?" Jane asked. "Maybe we can buy it online?"

"No, I don't know yet." Riley rubbed her forehead, her eyes looking tired. "But I can go the day after tomorrow."

"Okay, that works."

"Actually, I have a meeting I need to attend." Maura brought Noah higher into her arms to hug him to her front. "Will you be home?"

Jane sighed and shook her head. "I don't think so."

"That's okay, I'll ask Grandma." Riley shrugged.

"I'm sorry, baby," Maura whispered, adjusting Noah in her arms to kiss Riley's cheek.

Riley smiled, a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "It's okay."

Maura sighed deeply. She wanted to go shopping with Riley and she hated that she couldn't. She would catch up on that time later. "Time for bed, sweetheart," she said to the little boy in her arms. She felt his small head resting in the crook of her neck as his hands tangled in his mother's hair on her back. A habit Maura grew quite fond of.

"Should I take him?" Jane asked, looking concerned as she looked at Riley.

Maura shook her head. It was no use to keep pushing Riley to talk about her feelings. She needed some time right now. "It's okay. I'd like to give Lizzie a goodnight kiss as well."

"Okay. I just put her down, I think she's still awake."

Maura stood up, caressed Riley's cheek and kissed Jane's lips before she headed inside, carrying Noah on her hip. "You're tired, aren't you baby?"

Noah replied with a big yawn, eliciting a chuckle from his mother. Maura kissed his cheeks a few times before she closed his curtains and put him to bed. "Goodnight, my sweet boy," she whispered while she gently caressed Noah's cheek with the back of her hand. "I love you."

Noah's eyes were already closed as his mother left his bedroom and headed for her youngest daughter's. Maura carefully opened the door and smiled when she saw Lizzie looking up at her in the dark. "Hi, baby," she whispered. "You went to bed without a goodnight kiss!"

Lizzie nodded sleepily, wrapping her arms around Maura's neck as she kneeled in front of the bed. Maura smiled, pulling her little girl into a warm embrace. "You're getting so big," she whispered, feeling Lizzie's head resting on her shoulder instead of her chest. "Soon you won't be my little girl anymore!"

Lizzie chuckled softly. "I'm almost seven."

"Yes, you are." Maura kissed the side of Lizzie's head. "You still have to pick what kind of cake you want."

"Oh, yeah." Lizzie hummed. "I'm gonna think about it while I sleep."

Maura chuckled and squeezed her arms around her daughter. "That's a great idea."

"I know." Lizzie smirked and pulled back to snuggle back into the blankets.

"Good night, my love," Maura whispered, pressing a kiss on Lizzie's forehead. "I love you. Like an endless ocean from the moon and back."

"Love you too, Mommy."

Maura smiled to herself as she turned off the lights and quietly closed the bedroom door. Lizzie slowly stopped calling her 'mommy' and started saying 'mom', because she found herself too mature to say 'mommy'. But sometimes, Maura was still Mommy. Just Mommy, for her little Lizzie.

Downstairs, Riley was sitting at the dinner table, bent over a book, a notebook and her laptop. Her brow was furrowed in confusion and she sighed deeply. When she saw her mother, she smiled a sad smile. "Mom, can you help me with this?"

"Of course." Maura smiled and stepped towards her daughter, wrapping her arms around the girl's chest from behind. "Math?"

Riley nodded. "Yeah. I think I got it, but somehow I get stuck here. Can you check if I did this right?"

"Let me see." Maura moved Riley's book to check the problem. She was good at math. Science. Biology. Algebra. Those problems were easily fixed. If only she could help her daughter like she solved math problems. "Well, you did it all correct! Although-… Oh, up until here." Maura pointed at a line in Riley's notebook. "But you probably just added the wrong numbers." She pursed her lips and rested her cheek against Riley's temple to check her math book again. "Yes, here. Do you see?"

Riley furrowed her brow. "Oh, yeah. Wait." She calculated the right numbers and showed it to Maura. "Like this?"

"Yes!"

Riley sighed and showed a slight smile as Maura untangled herself from her daughter. "I wish I was a genius like you. Life's so much easier."

"Oh, don't think that, baby," Maura said softly as she walked towards the kitchen to make a cup of tea for Riley and herself. "I might be skilled at academics but I have my difficulties."

"But you're so smart. School must've been so easy." Riley bit on the back of her pencil as she looked at her mother, a look of admiration.

Maura sighed. "It wasn't. Well, yes. I received good grades. But my social life left much to be desired." She smiled a sad smile as she started boiling the water. "Sometimes having good friends and people around you who love you… is more important than good grades."

"You didn't have friends?" Riley asked, her voice soft and laced with disbelief. "Or people that loved you?"

Maura stared into the empty cup she just grabbed from the cupboard. "I had a few friends, but we weren't close. They would go to parties and I'd rather stay in my room and read. Where I'm from…" Maura sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "My parents aren't the most affectionate people, as you know. I knew they loved me, they just never showed it. I went to boarding school when I was ten. I lived a quite secluded life until college and med school… I spent my time studying and reading. I-…" She swallowed a lump in her throat and looked up at her daughter at the dinner table. "I was very lonely."

"Mom…" Riley looked at Maura with tears in her eyes.

She shook her head. "It's okay, I turned out just fine, didn't I?" Maura forced a smile and grabbed the boiling water to pour it into the cups.

"Do you never feel sorry?" Riley asked softly. "Don't you ever feel bad about that time?"

Maura suddenly felt tears burning in her eyes but she swallowed them quickly. "I do," she whispered. "Sometimes. When I was younger, I would wish I were an extraverted teenager with a lot of friends. I wished I were popular and get invited to parties, and have a great time there." Maura shrugged and lowered a teabag into the hot water. "But that's just not who I am."

She took one of the cups and handed it to her daughter, looking into bright blue eyes that showed love and a hint of concern. "I turned out just fine," Maura whispered, gently brushing Riley's hair back. "If you would have told me in college that I would be happily married to the love of my life, have three beautiful children who I love more than anything in the world, and be comfortable in my own skin, have a great job, great friends, a wonderful family… I would never have believed you." Maura smiled at her daughter and caressed her cheek. "But it all came true. Everything I've ever wanted and more."

Riley stood up from her chair and raised her arms to wrap them around Maura's neck, eliciting a sweet smile and a loving laugh from the blonde. Maura put her arms around Riley's waist and squeezed her close. "It's no use to keep thinking about the past, wanting to change things. I'm happy now, that's all I need."

Riley nodded against Maura's shoulder. "You're the best mother in the world, Mom," she whispered. "Kids don't care if their moms went to parties or had lots of friends."

Maura smiled and gently rubbed her daughter's back. "I love you, baby," she whispered. "So much."

Riley swallowed hard and squeezed her arms even tighter around Maura's neck. "I'm sorry, Mom," she whispered.

"Sorry?" Maura answered with tears in her eyes. "For what?"

Riley shrugged and kept the strong embrace. "For not being happy."

"Oh, honey." Maura pressed her lips against Riley's temple and swallowed a lump in her throat. "You're just going through a rough patch right now. You're taking a few steps back." She pulled back and looked into shimmering blue eyes, gently stroking her daughter's cheek. "That's okay, it happens. You'll find the way forward again. I know you will."

"Takes long this time," Riley whispered, averting her gaze towards her feet.

Maura nodded. "It does. But there is no time limit. I _know_ you will find the way forward again. I don't know when, and that hurts. But I know you will."

Riley looked up into Maura's eyes and Maura saw something changing in the girl. She saw a hint of a sparkle in those blue eyes. She knew it too. She would find the way. How? When? They didn't know. But in right there in that moment, Riley realized she would find the way forward again.


	16. Chapter 16

_A/N I hope you all had a great Christmas this year! I'm back with a new chapter, I hope you like it. Please let me know what you think and what else you would like to read. Thank you all for your kind reviews! It keeps me going.  
_

 **Chapter 16**

Jane walked past Riley's open bedroom door, gazing into her empty room. She sighed deeply and felt a strange kind of emptiness in her stomach. She kept telling herself that it was just soccer camp. It was just a few days. She would be fine. But something inside of Jane told her that it wasn't fine. Something inside her knew Riley wasn't feeling well. Maybe that's what people called a mother's instinct.

Riley was doing better. She slowly, very slowly started doing better. But that was all. She wasn't as quiet as she was a few weeks ago and she had a little more energy, but the old Riley was still hard to find. The frequent therapy sessions did her good. She meditated more often and was able to express herself in soccer and self-defense training from Jane. But she still wasn't herself and Jane worried about her.

"Did Lizzie go to sleep okay?" Maura asked as Jane walked into the kitchen, kissing the top of her wife's head as she passed her at the dinner table where she was catching up on autopsy reports.

"Yeah. Two stories." Jane smirked and opened the fridge to get a beer.

"Of course she persuaded you." Maura chuckled and stood up to press a kiss to Jane's lips.

"What can I say? She mastered the art." Jane replied with a smirk, watching her wife pouring herself a glass of wine.

"Oh admit it, she's your weakness."

Jane gasped playfully but smiled when Maura tilted her head. "Yeah, okay." Jane chuckled. "She was still excited about her birthday yesterday."

"Hm. She had an amazing day."

"Yeah."

Maura put her glass down to wrap her arms around Jane's waist. "You're tense," she whispered, her lips close to her wife's, as she turned serious. "What's wrong, my love?"

Jane sighed and dropped her shoulders, putting her arms around her wife. She shook her head. "Nothing."

"It's Riley, isn't it?"

Jane nodded and averted her gaze towards her feet. "Yeah."

Maura sighed deeply while she leaned forward to rest her head into the crook of Jane's neck. "I keep telling myself that she's okay," she whispered. "She's okay."

"I don't know, Maur. I-… I just don't know."

"Your gut is telling you something else." 

Jane nodded. "Maybe I have a mom-gut besides my cop-gut."

"Well…" Maura sighed deeply and pulled her wife closer. "Let's just hope that gut is not always right."

But it was. Jane knew it was. To prove that, just when both women started a loving kiss, Maura's phone rang. Riley's smiling face lit up from the screen and Jane felt like a heavy ball dropped to her stomach. She knew it.

Maura furrowed her brow and picked up her phone. "Hi, baby. You're up late." She listened to the other end of the line, keeping her gaze locked with Jane. "Okay, calm down. Shh, I know."

"What?" Jane asked. "What's happening?"

Maura moved her phone to put it on speaker. Jane's breath caught in her throat as she heard the sound of her daughter's sobs. "I-I d-don't know."

"Did something happen?" Maura asked while she grabbed Jane's hand and squeezed it tight. "What is it, my love?"

Riley just sobbed. It sounded like she was outside, and quickly heading towards a panic attack. "Shh, deep breaths baby," Maura soothed quietly. "Can you tell me what you're feeling?"

"N-no…"

"Isn't there a counselor around? To help you, maybe?"

Riley sniffled. "N-no, I w-want you Mom!"

"Honey, we can't-…" Maura stopped talking when she saw Jane hurrying towards the closet to get their coats. She cupped her hand over the phone. "Jane?"

"We're going. Right now."

"But-…" 

"Right now."

Maura must have noticed the seriousness in Jane's eyes because she nodded and took her coat from her wife. "Okay, baby," she said to Riley. "We'll be there as soon as we can."

"Just calm down, okay?" Jane said, slipping on her shoes. "You're okay. Just take deep breaths, get something to drink and get warm until we get there."

"Y-Yeah," came the soft reply.

"I love you, baby girl," Maura said quickly as she zipped her coat. She hung up the phone and looked confused at Jane. "What are we doing, Jane?"

"Going to get her." 

"Jane, we have two children sleeping upstairs. I believe you once told me to leave our kids alone when they get homesick because that's how they will learn-…"

"Not like this." Jane shook her head and felt tears burning in her eyes. "I know it, Maur. She needs us. It's not like it was with Lizzie."

Maura sighed deeply and nodded. "Okay then. I trust you." She quickly pecked Jane's lips and put her phone into the pocket of her coat. "What about Lizzie and Noah?"

"I'll ask my mom."

"It's late, Jane."

"She won't mind." Jane waved her wife's argument away and grabbed the car keys, wanting to get to Riley as quickly as possible.

They called Angela and waited impatiently for her, both women being incredibly grateful that she lived close by, even though she had moved out of the guesthouse years ago. Jane practically ran towards the car and didn't even wait for her wife before she started it. She knew it. Riley was there, all alone, desperate, hurting. She drove as fast as she could without breaking too much traffic rules.

When they arrived at the location of Riley's soccer camp, they saw light coming from the building, people chatting and walking around inside. Jane assumed Riley was inside, but she shot her attention towards the side of the building when she heard Maura gasping next to her.

"Oh, baby." Maura wiped the tears that suddenly welled up in her eyes, unclasped her seatbelt and hurried out of the car. "Riley!"

Riley stood there with her back against the wall, slightly bending over as her arms were wrapped around herself, her hair falling around her face. She looked up when she heard her mother's voice and ran towards them.

Maura opened her arms and the teenager crashed into the embrace. "Oh, my love," Maura whispered, tears trickling down her cheeks.

Jane locked the car and put the keys in her pocket before she gently rubbed Riley's back, listening to the girl's loud sobs against her wife. "What happened, baby?" Jane asked quietly.

Riley didn't reply. Her hands clutched Maura's coat, her knuckles white from squeezing. She didn't calm down. Whatever upset her, it set her back a few large steps.

"Jane." Maura looked at Jane with pleading eyes. "Take her."

"What?" Jane furrowed her brow. Maura was always the one to calm Riley down. She was the one to soothe her and comfort her with loving whispers. That wasn't Jane's job. Was it?

"You're safe, my love," Maura whispered to Riley, kissing the side of her head while she kept looking at Jane.

That was it. Safe. No one could make Riley feel as safe as Jane. She took over from Maura, wrapping her strong arms around the shaking teenager. Riley hid her face into Jane's chest, one of her arms wrapping weakly around Jane's waist as the other covered her face. Her sobs didn't disappear, but they didn't increase either.

"You're safe," Jane repeated quietly. "We're here. We love you so much, baby. So, so much."

That was what Riley needed. She felt unsafe in an unfamiliar world, with unfamiliar people. She panicked, and she had no one to come to. She had no safe place. Now that her mothers came to get her, her safe place was back and she was slowly calming down. The girl's sobs were quiet but heartbreaking. They came from a great underlying pain that was too big to even describe. It came from trauma, memories and nightmares. But through all that, there was a ray of light. It was a ray of trust, safeness and closeness that her mothers provided.

Maybe it wasn't the right thing to do, to come running towards her as soon as she called. Maybe they should have made her learn how to deal with these things by herself. But in that moment, Jane couldn't care less. She didn't care about being a perfect parent, about raising a child according to the books. Her little girl needed her, and Jane would be there.

"You're so brave, baby," Jane said quietly, barely audible above the sound of Riley's sobs. "We're so proud of you."

Riley only cried. She didn't speak or move, safely wrapped up in Jane's strong arms. The girl was shivering in only a light jacket, her muscles shaking to keep herself up. Maura stepped closer towards them and rested her forehead against Riley's temple as she hugged her from the side, rubbing the girl's back to keep her warm.

"Would you like to go home?" she whispered softly. "Or would you like me to talk to the counselors about coming back tomorrow?"

Riley shook her head and let out a silent sob.

"What do you want, my love?" Maura stroked Riley's hair and kissed her temple. "What do you need?"

"H-Home." Riley hiccupped and lifted her head from Jane's chest to look at her mother, her eyes red from crying.

Maura nodded, showing a loving smile. "Home it is." She looked at Jane and sighed, her eyes filled with concern. "I'll get her stuff and inform the counselors."

"Okay. Do you need any help?"

Maura shook her head and swallowed before placing a kiss on the back of Riley's head. "No. You stay with her."

"Okay." Jane watched Maura hurry into the building and she felt her daughter shivering in her arms. "C'mon," she whispered. "Let's get you warm." She kept her arm wrapped around Riley's shoulder as she led her towards the car. She brought Riley into the backseat but the girl wouldn't let go of her mother. Jane kissed Riley's temple, put the heat in the car on and brought Riley with her in her arms on the backseat.

Riley shivered and curled up into Jane's side, her tears now silently streaming down her face. Jane sighed deeply as she kissed the top of her daughter's head, smelling fresh air, grass and a hint of perfume. "God, what happened hm?" Jane whispered. "Pretty girl… What got you so upset?" She didn't expect an answer and she wasn't surprised when there came none. "Please tell me no one hurt you," Jane asked, a little louder this time. "Did someone hurt you?"

Riley shook her head, but then she hesitated.

"Baby?" Jane cupped her daughter's cheek to look into her eyes. "Did someone hurt you?"

Fresh tears started trickling down Riley's cheeks as she leaned forward and presented her back to her mother. Jane knew what she would see before she lifted Riley's shirt. No one hurt Riley. She did it herself. She swallowed hard as she saw the angry red scratches on her daughter's back, framing the white scars that were already there. It wasn't the first time this happened. Sometimes it happened in her sleep, sometimes during a panic attack.

"Oh, baby." Jane lowered her daughter's shirt again and pulled her back into her arms. "How did it happen?"

"Stupid panic attack after a nightmare," Riley answered quietly.

"When?"

"Yesterday."

"How?"

"Wall in the shower."

Jane hummed. "Why didn't you call us, honey?" she whispered softly.

Riley just shrugged as she cried softly.

After a few moments of silence, Maura came back to the car, holding Riley's bag and a pair of soccer shoes in her other hand. She opened the back of the car and quickly put it in before closing the car and kneeling in front of her wife and daughter. "Everything is settled, baby. You are welcome to come back tomorrow if you'd like, but for now we're just going home."

Riley nodded and lifted her head off Jane's chest. "Thanks," she whispered.

Maura smiled the most loving smile in the world and leaned forward to press her lips against Riley's forehead. "My love," she whispered to her. She pulled back and looked into her eyes in the dark of the night. "Let's go home."

The girl couldn't have slept more than a few hours at camp, maybe not even that much, because she fell asleep in the backseat after only five minutes. Maura smiled at her wife behind the wheel and squeezed her upper leg. "I love you, Jane," she whispered. "Thank you for convincing me to get her."

Jane shrugged. "I don't know if it was the right thing to do."

Maura turned her head to look at their sleeping daughter in the back. "I think it was. She needs us. The camp was too soon for her."

"Stupid mistake," Jane whispered. "We should've never let her go."

"I don't know. Maybe she learned something. Even though it set her back a few steps…"

Jane sighed and stopped at a red light, looking at her wife with tears in her eyes. "What if she doesn't find the way forward again, Maur?"

Maura swallowed her tears and took a deep breath. "She will." She leaned forward to quickly press her lips against her wife's. "She will."

Green light lit up the car and Jane took off again, turning her attention back to the dark road. "I know." She shook her head to get rid of the tears in her eyes. "She's tough."

"Like her Ma."

Jane smirked and turned the car into their street, driving it into the garage where she turned the engine off. "Hey," she whispered. "I love you too, you know."

Maura nodded, smiling when she leaned in for another kiss. "I know."

The sudden silence in the car woke Riley up and the women heard a soft groan coming from the backseat. Maura turned and squeezed Riley's knee. "Hi, love."

Riley sleepily rubbed her eyes and showed a tired smile. "We home?"

"Yes." Maura opened the door and they took Riley stuff inside where Angela stood up from the couch as soon as she heard them.

She turned around and her shoulders dropped when she saw the look on Riley's face. "Oh, sweetheart." She opened her arms for the girl and Jane smiled when she watched her daughter falling into them, burying herself in the warm embrace of her grandmother. Ever since the two of them started visiting the adoption center for the birthday presents, they got closer and closer.

Riley rested her head sideways on Angela's soft chest, her hand resting next to her head to occasionally wipe her wet cheeks.

"What happened?" Angela asked softly.

Riley shrugged. "It was bad, Grandma," she whispered. "I was doing real bad."

"You know what?" Angela whispered as she soothingly rubbed Riley's back. "That's okay. I mean it. It's okay to do real bad every now and then."

"But I'm doing bad all the time," Riley said softly. "That's not okay, is it?"

"Yeah." Angela pulled back and wiped Riley's cheeks with the back of her hand. "It is."

Jane hung her coat on the back of a chair and felt Maura's arms wrapping around her waist as she hugged her wife from the side, kissing her head while she listened to her mother and oldest daughter.

"I mean," Angela continued, "it doesn't feel okay, but don't ever think that you're stupid or abnormal. You're so brave and so strong. You've been through so much, and every single day that you get up and live your life and be the beautiful happy girl you are, is proof of that."

Riley just nodded.

"You don't believe me, do you?"

Riley chuckled softly and shook her head, a smile finally curling her lips. "Nah."

"Well, we'll all keep telling you as often as we need to convince you." Angela kissed Riley's forehead and squeezed the girl close. "You got two great moms there, and they love you more than anything. They're gonna do everything they can to help you."

Riley nodded and wiped her cheeks, not moving from her grandmother's chest. "I know. Sometimes that's just still hard to believe."

Angela chuckled softly. "Well, you better start believing it. Because if there's one thing I know about my Janie, it's that she would take a bullet for the people she loves. And I've never seen her love someone like she loves you kids."

Riley smiled a shy smile and pulled back to look at her grandmother. "Yeah."

"And then I'm not even talking about your other mom 'cause I know you're her biggest soft spot."

Riley chuckled tiredly. "I know, it's handy too sometimes."

Maura laughed softly next to her wife, leaning closer into her side. 

"Oh you know how to abuse it, don't you?" Angela laughed, wiping the last of Riley's tears.

Riley shrugged. "Kinda."

"Watch it, Riley." Maura chuckled and untangled herself from Jane to start making hot chocolate for all of them. "Or you'll go to bed without hot chocolate."

"No, I didn't mean it." Riley laughed and stepped away from her grandmother to walk back to the kitchen.

"Thanks Ma," Jane said softly as her mother turned towards her. "Really. Thank you."

Angela smiled and stroked Jane's cheek. "Anytime."

"Would you like some hot chocolate as well?" Maura asked while she grabbed a few cups out of the cupboard.

"No, thank you. I'll be going back to bed if you don't mind."

"Of course. I'm sorry for calling you so late."

Angela waved her hand and grabbed her coat. "The little ones are sleeping like roses." She grabbed her car keys and zipped up her coat. "Love you, girls!"

"Love you too, Ma." Jane smirked as she watched her mother leave the house, eternally grateful to have her in their lives.

"How are you feeling, baby?" Maura asked as Riley leaned back against the kitchen counter.

Riley shrugged. "Tired. Happy to be home."

Jane hummed and tucked a strand of hair behind Riley's ear. "You should let your mom check your back before you go to bed later."

"What-…" Maura started the question but she stopped when she looked at her wife. She knew. She sighed and closed her eyes for a second. "Yes. You should."

Riley nodded, her cheeks turning pink with an embarrassed blush. "I'm sorry, Moms," she said softly.

"Don't be." Maura kissed Riley's forehead and handed her a steaming mug of hot chocolate. "It's okay, my love."

Jane led her family towards the couch, sensing that Riley didn't want to talk right now. She would talk, but not now. Maybe tomorrow, or the day after that. She just needed to process everything that has happened. Tonight, she just needed a quiet night with her mothers and fall asleep in their arms.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

"Elizabeth, get back here!" Maura hurried after the little girl that hopped down the hallway, wearing only her panties and trying very hard to get out of taking a shower. Maura was alone, Jane still at work. Riley was downstairs doing her homework and Noah was in his bouncy chair in his bedroom a few feet away. Lizzie had been incredibly difficult that day and Maura was exhausted.

"I don't wanna shower!" Lizzie ran back and forth in the hall, a challenging look on her face.

"I don't care." Maura's voice was strict and clear. "You are going to take a shower whether you'd like to or not. Now get in here, Lizzie."

"No." Lizzie crossed her arms and stopped running, raising her chin as she looked at her mother.

"Yes. Come here."

"No." Lizzie shook her head. "I'm not gonna."

"Elizabeth Rizzoli-Isles!" Maura placed her hands on her hips, hoping to look as strict as possible. "Listen to me, right now! Get in there this instant."

"NO!"

Maura sighed deeply and felt anger and annoyance. "Watch your tone, young lady. If you don't get in the shower in the next five seconds, there's no TV for you for the rest of the week."

Lizzie kept her arms crossed and shook her head again, her brown eyes spitting fire. Maura had no idea why the girl was so difficult today.

"I mean it, Lizzie. No TV."

"Don't care!"

"One…"

Lizzie pursed her lips.

"Two…"

Lizzie wiggled on her feet but didn't move an inch.

"Three…" Maura raised her eyebrows. "Four…"

"What's going on?" Jane's husky voice called out to them from the stairs before she appeared in the hall. 

"Five. That's it! Get in here, Lizzie." Maura walked towards her daughter and picked her up from the floor, struggling to keep the squirming child up.

"No!" Lizzie screamed and started kicking her feet around.

"Liz, listen to your mom!" Jane's voice was dangerous and low, but Lizzie pretended she didn't hear it.

Lizzie shook her head and frantically tried to wiggle herself free, but Maura was stronger. The girl realized that and suddenly Maura felt a hard slap on her cheek, followed by a scream from Jane.

"HEY!" She pulled Lizzie out of Maura's arms and gave the girl's bottom a firm slap, causing Lizzie to break out into loud cries. "That's it, get in the shower and I don't want to see you again until you're ready to apologize!"

Jane's firm tone and slap startled Lizzie and she ran into the bathroom as soon as her mother let her go, closing the door behind her. Maura could only look at the whole thing with her eyes wide, her hand on her cheek where she felt the burn of her daughter's slap. It didn't hurt. Not physically.

"Hey, you okay?" Jane asked softly, gently pulling Maura's hand away.

Maura pulled away from Jane's touch. "You hit her."

Jane shrugged and furrowed her brow. "Yeah. She didn't listen."

"So you used violence? Even though we are very strict about that? You have to set an example, Jane!" Maura swallowed and dapped her eyes. She only now realized that Noah was crying, startled by the noise outside of his bedroom. She walked towards the room, but Jane stopped her.

"I'll get him."

Maura sighed and nodded without looking at her wife. She closed her eyes and rested her head back against the wall, feeling the exhaustion burning in her muscles. She stood there, listening to the sound of the shower running until Jane came back with a sleepy boy on her hip. "Goodnight kiss?" she said softly.

Maura took Noah from her wife. "Yes, please." She smiled as he grinned a tired smile at his mother. "I love you, baby," she whispered before she covered his chubby cheeks in kisses. "Sweet dreams." She handed him back to Jane and followed her wife to close Noah's curtains and turn off the lights as Jane put him to bed.

As they closed Noah's bedroom door, the bathroom door opened and Lizzie walked out, wearing her pajamas, her wet hair dripping from the shower. She saw them and looked down at her feet.

"Do you have something to say, Lizzie?" Jane asked, looking down at her daughter.

Lizzie shrugged.

"I think you do."

Thick tears started falling down Lizzie's cheeks. She shook her head.

"Okay, go to your room and don't come out until you're ready. You know very well what to do, Liz."

She nodded and slowly walked into her bedroom, closing the door behind her. Maura sighed deeply and rested back against the wall.

"I'm sorry, Maur," Jane said. "She's gonna be okay."

"You shouldn't have hit her." Maura's voice was laced with the disappointment she felt in her stomach.

"C'mon, Maur. She hit you!"

"So you hit her back?" Maura lifted her hands. "What kind of message do you think you're sending with that?"

"That she shouldn't disrespect you!" Jane looked angry and ran her hand through her hair. "It wasn't hard, Maur. Just a slap on the butt, like my Ma did with us all the time."

"Well, I'm not your Ma. I don't condone any kind of violence in our house."

"Violence? C'mon, Maura!" Jane groaned and closed her eyes. "Do we really have to fight about this? I barely hurt her!"

Maura felt a hint of anger burning in the pit of her stomach. "It's important to me, so yes we have to fight about this!"

"Ma!" Riley called from downstairs. "Your phone is ringing!"

Jane sighed.

"Go." Maura nodded, not wanting to continue the heated discussion until they both calmed down. "I'll be downstairs in a minute."

Maura turned and headed towards their bedroom to get changed into a more comfortable outfit while Jane walked downstairs. She unbuttoned her blouse and hung it up in the closet before stepping out of her skirt and folding it neatly. She slipped into a pair of yoga pants and pulled a loose white sweater over her head, pulling the hair tie out of her hair to loosen her ponytail and let her hair fall over her shoulders. As she turned back to walk downstairs, she saw Lizzie standing in the doorway, looking up at her mother with big eyes filled with tears and guilt.

Maura sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at her little girl. "Did you come by to say something?" she said softly, her voice strict but loving.

Lizzie nodded and played with the hem of her pajama shirt.

Maura waited.

"I'm sorry, Mommy," Lizzie whispered, looking down at her bare feet.

"Thank you." Maura shifted towards the foot of the bed and gently took Lizzie's chin in her hand to lift her head and look into her eyes. "You know that was very wrong of you."

Lizzie nodded.

"We don't tolerate any kind of violence in this house, you know that very well," Maura said softly, her fingers still on Lizzie's chin. "You disrespected us and you used violence. You didn't get in the shower when I told you to, so there's no TV for you for the rest of the week, like I told you."

"I'm sorry." Lizzie's bottom lip quivered and she averted her gaze.

Maura nodded and her heart melted at the sight of her guilty little girl. "Thank you for apologizing."

Lizzie sniffled and lifted her hand to wipe her cheek with the sleeve of her shirt. "D-do you still love me?"

"Oh honey, of course I do." Maura felt tears burning in her eyes and pulled her daughter into her lap, wrapping her arms around the crying girl. "Just because I am upset with you, doesn't mean I don't love you anymore."

Lizzie nodded and Maura felt the girl relaxing, her heart breaking as she realized Lizzie truly thought she didn't love her anymore. "This is new, isn't it?" Maura whispered, gently stroking Lizzie's cheek with the back of her hand as the girl rested her head on Maura's shoulder. "We never fight like this."

Lizzie shook her head.

"We just need to learn how to deal with that." She smiled when she felt Lizzie's arm wrapping around her neck. "We all do." Even Jane and herself. They fought, but not about the children. They usually agreed on how to raise them. But with this, Maura strongly disagreed with her wife. She already hated the argument that was about to come.

"I'm sorry I hit you, Mommy," Lizzie whispered, her voice suddenly thick with the tears that now streamed down her face. "I'm sorry." She reached up and wrapped both her arms around Maura's neck, squeezing tight as she hid her face into the crook of her mother's neck.

Maura smiled a loving smile. She pulled her daughter close and kissed the side of her head. Lizzie was growing fast. Her legs were getting long and skinny and her children's belly was gone. She was growing into a beautiful young girl. Even though Maura hated that time was going by so quickly, she loved to watch her children grow into the beautiful people they would grow up to be.

"Thank you for apologizing," Maura whispered into Lizzie's blond curls. "I love you, my sweet baby. That won't ever change."

"Love you too, Mom." Lizzie squeezed her arms so hard Maura could barely breathe, and she let out a grunt.

"You're squishing me!" She tickled Lizzie's sides, eliciting sweet giggles from the girl. When she pulled back she cupped Lizzie's face and wiped her wet cheeks with her thumbs. "It's bedtime for you, my love."

Lizzie sighed. "But I'm not tired."

Maura chuckled and lifted the girl up in her arms as she stood up from the bed. "Oh, come on baby." She kissed the side of Lizzie's head and smiled when her slightly longer legs wrapped around her waist. The girl was getting too heavy to carry, but Maura didn't put her down. She loved the feeling of simply having Lizzie's legs wrapped around her waist, her arms squeezing around her neck, the girl's head on her shoulder.

She put her daughter to bed, helping her brush her teeth and tuck her into bed before Lizzie read herself a story, with help from Maura. She stopped at the difficult words and Maura helped her through it, knowing how hard it was for the girl to read with her dyslexia.

After she gave her daughter kisses and a few 'I love you's', she closed the bedroom door and took a deep breath, bracing herself to talk to her wife. She felt refreshed anger burning in the pit of her stomach and managed to calm herself down with a few deep breaths. She headed downstairs and first walked past Riley at the dinner table, placing a kiss on top of her head. "Hi, honey," she said softly. "English paper?"

"Yeah." Riley nodded, browsing through the book next to her laptop.

"How is it coming along?"

"Pretty good, I think." Riley looked up at her mother. "Do you mind doing a spellcheck later?"

Maura shook her head. "Not at all." She stood back up and looked at her wife in the living room. Jane was sitting in one of the chairs, looking at the TV. "Jane?"

"Hm?"

"Can we talk?" Maura motioned towards the piano room. "Please?" Her voice was urgent and she could tell Jane wasn't feeling like talking one bit as she stood up from her seat.

They went into the room and Maura closed the door behind her, taking a deep breath before looking up at Jane. "I don't agree with the way you treated our daughter."

"I don't agree with the way our daughter treated _you_." Jane crossed her arms, a movement of defense.

"I know, but we could have made that clear without using violence."

"God, would you stop calling it that?" Jane raised her voice and furrowed her brow. "It was just a slap on the butt to calm her down! She barely felt it!"

"She cried! Of course she felt it!"

"Yeah but it didn't hurt!"

"Maybe not physically." Maura crossed her arms and leaned back against the door.

Jane sighed deeply and sat down on the piano seat. "Did she apologize to you?"

Maura nodded. "She did. She asked me if I still loved her."

Brown eyes widened as Jane looked at her wife. "Really?"

"Yes." Maura felt tears burning in her eyes as she rubbed her forehead. "She was truly upset."

"Well, that's good isn't it? She has to feel what she did was wrong."

"Not in the way you did it!" Maura lifted her hands and started pacing through the room. "I know we've always agreed on raising our children and not once had an argument like this, but I strongly disagree with this course of action, Jane!"

"What do you want me to do?" Jane stretched her legs and motioned around the room. "Apologize to her?"

"For a start, yes. I think she'd appreciate that."

"Okay, I will." Jane's voice was softer now. She stood up and stepped closer towards her wife, placing her hands on Maura's upper arms. "I'm sorry, Maur. I didn't mean to upset you."

"Th-…" Maura sighed and calmed herself down. "That's not the point, Jane. The point is that you hit our child to discipline her. I don't want that in our house! I don't want our children to be brought up that way!"

"I'm sorry Maur, but I think she needed it in the moment! She was behaving badly and needed to be pulled out of it."

Maura shook her head and swallowed a lump in her throat. "Jane…" She sighed deeply and closed her eyes, trying to stop her tears from falling. "I just-… With Riley's story… I just can't believe you did that."

"This is nothing like Riley's father," Jane said softly, her voice husky and determined. "Lizzie won't think of it that way. Kids don't get damaged from one slap! She hit you, Maura! I had to give her a scare by slapping her, that's all. She's not traumatized."

Maura sighed and looked into those dark eyes she loved so much. Jane was right. But she still didn't agree with her. "I know." She looked at her wife and saw a small, loving smile curling her thin lips. She couldn't stay mad at her beautiful detective. She wrapped her arms around Jane's neck and placed a kiss on her jaw.

"I won't do it again, okay?" Jane whispered as her strong arms wrapped tightly around her wife. "I promise."

"But you still don't agree with me."

Jane sighed and shook her head. "No. I think sometimes kids need it to have a scare, to discipline them." She pulled back and lifted her hand to stroke Maura's wet cheek. "But hey, we can't always agree on everything right?"

Maura smiled a tired smile and closed her eyes as she rested her forehead against Jane's. "I guess not."

"So I'll never do it again, because even though I don't agree with you, I love you and I want to raise our beautiful children with you." She shrugged and placed a quick kiss on her wife's lips.

Maura nodded, tightening her grip around her wife's neck as she deepened their kiss. One of her hands tangled in dark, messy curls as she heard a small moan coming from her lanky detective. She smiled into the kiss and pressed her body against her wife's happy to feel that they were okay again. It hurt her that Jane didn't agree with her, but Jane was right. They couldn't always agree on everything. Sometimes they had to make compromises, and this was one of those times. Jane made a promise and if there was one thing Maura was absolutely sure of, it was that Jane Rizzoli didn't break promises.

"I'm gonna go talk to Liz," Jane whispered hoarsely after they broke the kiss. "You want to come?"

Maura nodded. She took her wife's hand in hers and followed the brunette upstairs towards Lizzie's bedroom where Jane quietly opened the door. "Liz?"

Lizzie looked up in the dark, looking sleepy. "Mama?"

"Hi, baby." Jane smiled and kneeled in front of Lizzie's bed while Maura stood in the doorway. "I heard you apologized to Mommy."

Lizzie nodded.

"I'm proud of you for that."

"I'm sorry for being bad," Lizzie said softly, her voice soft and laced with guilt.

Jane nodded and reached out to stroke her daughter's hair. "I'm sorry for hitting you," she whispered in all honesty. "I really am."

Lizzie looked up at her mother with wide eyes.

"I shouldn't have done that and I'm sorry."

Lizzie just nodded.

"Can I get a hug?" Jane sat up and opened her arms and the girl chuckled as she pushed away the blankets to wrap her arms around her mother's neck. "I love you, baby," Jane whispered into messy blond curls. "Mommy and I love you so much."

"Love you too, Mama."

Maura felt tears in her eyes as she watched the encounter between the two. Lizzie's arms wrapped around her mother, blond and black curls mingling together in a tight embrace. Lizzie wasn't traumatized. She wasn't hurt, scared or mad. She would be fine.

"Sleep tight, baby." Jane smiled a loving smile as she pulled back and pressed her lips against Lizzie's forehead.

"G'night." Lizzie snuggled back into the blankets as she took Stevie back in her arms, squeezing the stuffed animal to her front as she put her thumb in her mouth. No matter how much she had grown, that wouldn't change.

They closed the bedroom door and Jane headed back downstairs but Maura stopped her by grabbing her arm. "Jane."

"Yeah?"

"Did you mean that? Or did you do that for me?"

Jane sighed. "Both. I did it for you, and I meant it."

Maura nodded. She pressed a kiss on Jane's lips before following her downstairs towards their oldest daughter. She didn't agree with her wife. Things weren't perfect. The argument wasn't solved in a perfect way. But life wasn't perfect. Compromises, hurt, disagreement and discussions were a part of life, a part of marriage. But as long as they loved each other as much as they did, everything would be just fine.


	18. Chapter 18

_A/N This chapter is short and sweet and will offer some closure to a few things. For now, this story is going on hold for a while. I might come back to it, but I haven't decided yet. I'm waiting for a rush of inspiration and new ideas._

 _In the meantime, I started a new, similar story called Unconditional. It's a kids-fic as well, lots of fluff as you all know I like to write. ;)_

 _I'll probably continue this at some point because I just can't let it go, but I don't know when. Thank you all so, so much for your kind reviews and for supporting all of these stories about Jane, Maura, Riley, Lizzie and Noah! You have no idea how special these stories have been to me, they are a way of coping, getting my thoughts out of my head and out in the universe. Every single review touched my heart and I thank you with all I have!_

 **Chapter 18**

"Pass it back, Ma!" Riley ran across the backyard, motioning her hands towards where she accidentally kicked the soccer ball. Jane chuckled, passed the ball to her daughter and watched as her skilled legs did a trick that Jane could only dream of doing. She smiled. Riley had gained weight. She was developing curves, rosy cheeks and strong legs. Her brown hair seemed to sparkle in the early summer sun and there were some freckles appearing on her nose. She looked happy.

Jane turned her attention towards the front of the house and her smile only grew wider. She saw her wife sitting there on the garden bench, holding their beautiful baby son, who was not really a baby anymore. He was almost one and a half, crawling and walking around like the speed of light, so it seemed. He was a happy, cheerful little boy and the two women couldn't be luckier. He rarely cried, was never unhappy or unsatisfied. He had a lot of energy and smiled all day long, but for now he was sitting in his mother's lap as he played contently with one of his toys. His hair was a dark auburn, his eyes blue as the sky, his cheeks chubby and covered in freckles. He looked like a small angel.

She turned her attention towards her beautiful wife and watched as the blonde closed her eyes, her arms wrapped around their son, a loving smile curling her perfect lips as she seemed to soak in every second of these precious moments. Her skin was glowing in the sunlight. She was wearing a tight green dress that hugged her curves and made her eyes stand out. She had kicked off her heels and hopped her bare feet up and down to the rhythm of the song she was humming to Noah.

"Mama?" Lizzie came walked into the yard, holding a book in her hands. "Can you help me? I got a really hard book this time." She sighed and her shoulders dropped.

Jane smiled at her little girl. She was growing so fast. Her legs were getting longer with every second and her teeth were falling out quicker than the blink of an eye. Her curls were longer now and reached below her shoulders, but her jeans were stained as ever, her shoelaces untied and her brown eyes sparkled as the child she was.

"Sure, peanut. C'mon." She sat down in the grass, her back resting against the bench where Maura and Noah were sitting. She opened her legs and pulled Lizzie against her, long arms wrapping around the girl's stomach as Lizzie opened the book.

"This is the hard part." Lizzie browsed towards the second chapter of the book.

"You did the first chapter all by yourself?" Jane asked, her voice laced with pride.

Lizzie nodded and showed a proud grin. "Yep."

"That is amazing." She kissed the top of Lizzie's head and continued to help her through the book, telling her the difficult words as the girl read through the rest. Her dyslexia wasn't an easy kind. Every single word was hard for the girl, and after just two rather short chapters, she was exhausted.

"You're doing so well, honey," Maura said as she reached down to caress Lizzie's curls. "I'm proud of you."

Lizzie nodded and rested her head back against Jane's chest. "Can we stop?"

Jane closed the book. "Yeah. You did great for today." She put the book away and smiled a loving smile when she felt Lizzie turning in her arms to wrap her short arms around her mother's neck, snuggling into familiar warmth and love. "You did good, little cuddle bug," Jane smirked as she pulled her daughter close.

"I'm not a cuddle bug."

Jane snorted. "Yeah, right." She kissed the side of Lizzie's head.

Lizzie giggled and squirmed away from her mother, eliciting a chuckle from Maura who was holding a rather squirmy boy. "Would you like to play with your sister for a while?" Maura asked him with a kiss on top of his head. She put him down on the blanket on the grass, handing him a few of his toys.

"Can I get the cars, Mommy?" Lizzie asked, hopping up and down on her feet.

"Yes, you can."

Lizzie ran inside to get the box of toy cars from the living room, bringing it outside and handing them to Noah as they both started playing. "Make sure to keep him on the blanket, okay?" Jane asked while she stood up to sit next to her wife on the bench.

"Yeah, I know. He's gonna eat the grass otherwise." Lizzie smirked and arranged the cars in a rather complicated traffic accident.

"Izzie!" Noah reached out his little hands and grinned at his sister, smiling contently as Lizzie handed him a purple plastic car.

"Why's he always eating everything, Mom?" Lizzie asked, wrinkling her nose as Noah put the car in his mouth.

Maura chuckled. "Because he's still getting teeth, so he likes to chew on things."

"It's gross. Everything gets slimy."

"Just use the cloth to clean them, baby." Maura shook her head and moved closer towards her wife, linking their arms together.

Jane smiled a dreamy smile at her wife and leaned forward to press a light kiss to her temple. "You're beautiful," she whispered.

Maura turned her head and smiled that smile that made her eyes sparkle, the wrinkles around them show and the dimples appear in her cheeks. "So are you." She pressed her lips against Jane's, closing her eyes as she smiled into the kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too." Jane smirked and tangled their fingers together as she took Maura's hand in hers. She turned her attention back to their children. Lizzie and Noah were playing their separate games but contently along side of each other, and Riley just put down the soccer ball and redid her ponytail while she walked across the yard towards her mothers, into the house.

"I'm gonna go play some piano!" She hopped across the doorstep and disappeared inside, eliciting a sweet smile from her mothers.

They stayed silent for a while until the sound of a beautiful, soft melody came from inside. Jane closed her eyes and listened to it for a few moments before she stood up, gave her wife a quick kiss and headed towards the piano room to stand in the doorway and simply listen to her daughter playing.

Riley's slim fingers were moving effortlessly across the keys, her back was bend, but her shoulders straight as a few strands of hair fell out of her ponytail across her focused face. After a while, Riley changed the melody and Jane heard footsteps coming towards her, turning her head to see her wife, carrying Noah on her hip. Maura wrapped her free arm around Jane's waist while she looked at Riley behind the piano.

"She's back," Jane whispered, pressing her lips against Maura's temple.

Maura nodded while she looked at Riley with tears in her eyes. "Finally."

Riley stopped playing when she heard her mothers and turned on her seat.

"Oh no, don't stop." Maura smiled and adjusted Noah on her hip. "I was just about to give Noah a clean diaper, don't let us disturb you."

Riley shook her head. "It's okay." She stood up and walked across the small room, stopping in front of her mothers when Maura cupped her cheek and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "You play so beautifully, honey."

Riley smiled a shy smile. "Thanks."

Jane chuckled and brushed a strand of hair behind Riley's ear. "Hey." She caressed her daughter's cheek and looked into her bright blue eyes. "You're back," she whispered.

Riley smiled a beautiful smile at her mothers. "Yeah." She nodded, her smile growing bigger as she looked at her feet. "I think so too."

Maura had tears in her eyes as she kissed Riley's cheek. "I'm proud of you, my love."

"Thanks for helping me find the way back." Riley blushed and looked into Maura's eyes, and then at Jane. "All thanks to you, moms."

Jane shook her head. "No, baby. You're strong as hell, all on your own. We just helped you see it."

"Jane! Watch your language." Maura shook her head in disapproval while Noah was getting fuzzy on her hip. "Oh I know, baby." She kissed his head and pulled away from her wife and daughter. "Let's go clean you up."

Jane watched Maura carrying Noah upstairs to change his diaper while Lizzie came into the house, tired of being outside on her own. Jane smiled to herself and wrapped her arms around the skinny teenager in front of her, feeling Riley's arms wrapping around her waist. She felt blessed. So, so blessed. She had everything she wanted and more. She had everything she could ever wish for. The love of her life, the most beautiful children in the world, a job she loved, a family she treasured… She couldn't ask for more.

Riley snuggled into Jane's shoulder and tightened her grip around her mother's waist. "Thanks, Ma," she mumbled into the detective's T-shirt.

Jane smiled as she pressed a loving kiss to the side of Riley's head. "Welcome back, baby," she whispered, strengthening the embrace. "Welcome back."


End file.
